Entries Tagged as 'stealing'

Mug Shot

September 12th, 2012 · 56 Comments

I’ll start with the moral of the story first: “It just goes to show you that passive aggressive notes are funny but not effective.” That observation comes courtesy of Janell in San Francisco, who admits that she penned the following note after her third coffee mug went missing from the office kitchen.

Explains Janell: “While a lot of people commented on the note, my mug never appeared. After six months passed, my boss bought me an identical mug just so I would take the note down. A year later, one of my co-workers quit. We found the mug in his office.”

Have You Seen This Mug? My Starbucks blue and white San Francisco mug was last seen on Friday morning, Jan. 21st in the Creative Services kitchen drain rack. The mug loves maple brown sugar oatmeal and attending morning meetings.  If found, please wash and return to the Creative Services kitchen drain rack. Mug, if you can read this, I miss you! Please come home soon.

related: Justice, with a side of fries

extra credit: The Anti-Theft “Plug Mug”

Tags: anthropomorphism · kitchen · office · San Francisco · stealing

Which response is classier?

August 27th, 2012 · 48 Comments

These two different approaches to the same problem were submitted within minutes of each other.

Exhibit a) From Hipsterville, Brooklyn, Like a Sir, as spotted by Kaitlin:

To whomever is stealing our NY Times each morning, this is your first, last and only warning: stop it! We are legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us.

Exhibit b) From Niceville, Minnesota, Killing you with Kindness, as spotted by Bitsy:

Good Morning! I don't mind if you take my newspaper to read — I know you are trying to stay current with the local news — 

related: All the news that’s fit to steal

Tags: Brooklyn · Minnesota · neighbors · newspaper · stealing

Please stop hectoring the coffee creamer! (You’re hurting its feelings.)

August 13th, 2012 · 118 Comments

If you work in an office that supplies your cream and sugar needs gratis, consider yourself lucky. There’s something about coffee creamer that sends folks off the deep end…

Apparently in some unknown language my name means "help yourself to my creamer without permission and ignore the part where it reads don't touch!"

P.S. If you’ve thought of a different tactic, it’s probably been tried before.

BREAST MILK Drink at your own risk

related: Coffee, mate?

Tags: all-staff e-mail · CAPS LOCK · office fridge · Orlando · stealing

Missing: Red Gatorade. Answers to the name “Wally.”

August 6th, 2012 · 23 Comments

“People steal other people’s food and drink so often in my office that security put up a notice,” says our submitter in Florida. “Apparently, the sign isn’t working.”

Instead, the notes left by the victims have turned into an ongoing office-wide joke.

DID YOU TAKE A RED GATORADE? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? Do the right thing and replace it...or else!

And the latest contribution…

Missing: Red Gatorade. Cold, Refreshing, Thirst Quenching. Last seen inside the breakroom fridge. Answers to the name Wally. Hopefully picked up by accident. If you know where my Gatorade is,

related: Those heirloom tomatoes had sentimental value!

Tags: beverages · note wars · office fridge · smartass · stealing

This sign now promotes poor problem-solving skills

July 24th, 2012 · 28 Comments

Sarah in Grand Rapids, Michigan says there are actually more words on this “replacement” lawn sign than there were on the original. Good thing the writer is putting those extra words to work for a good cause, huh?

This sign used to promote the Summer reading program for children until someone stole it

related: This flamingo has flown

Tags: Grand Rapids · Michigan · stealing · Won't somebody think of the children?

The potted pot plant thief

July 18th, 2012 · 26 Comments

“This was posted on the elevator door in my building,” says Konstantin in NYC. “It refers to the marijuana plant left in a pot right in front of the building for over a week. I love my neighbors…”

Psst, Whiteboy — perhaps a guard dog is in order?

To the person that took the weed plant! It was not TRASH It belong to me (Whiteboy) please Bring it back down. I will eventually find out. Just bring it down.

Meanwhile, in Seattle…

Hey! Those pots were not FREE! give them back!

related: The Orchid Thief

Tags: drugs · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · New York · stealing

This is not an all legs buffet.

July 11th, 2012 · 75 Comments

“Apparently chicken legs can cause quite the hullabaloo in a small town,” notes our submitter in Iowa.

!!BUFFET NOTICE!! We do our best to provide all pieces of chicken on our buffet. We offer a chicken buffet, not a

related: Sushi buffet rules

Tags: Iowa · most popular notes of 2012 · restaurant · small town living · stealing

Game of Thorns

June 20th, 2012 · 19 Comments

Dear Notewriter: Clearly, you’re not a scholar of Indian religious traditions, so just FYI: “Karma” doesn’t translate from the Sanskrit as “sword-wielding mercenary” or “the guy Liam Neeson played in Taken.”

To the asshole who stole my PLANTS: KARMA WILL FIND YOU AND IT WILL KILL YOU!

(Also, the Knight of Flowers is offended by your insinuations.)

Thanks to Hannah in Oakland for submitting!

related: The Orchid (and Daffodil, and Begonia) Thief

Tags: die bitch die · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · karma's a bitch · Oakland · stealing

Well, it’s not a horse’s head in your bed…

April 25th, 2012 · 43 Comments

Kayla says this message was left in the dorm laundry room after a girl’s clothes disappeared.

(I can just see the snarky follow-ups now…”Awesome! Free goldfish!”)

This is what will happen to you if you take people's clothes.

related: To the asshole that stole all of my underwear…

Tags: college life · laundry · Ohio · stealing · warning

How DARE you.

March 17th, 2012 · 48 Comments

Our submitter, Cynthia, spotted this exchange clipped to a fence in her Seattle neighborhood. “I love the meanness of trying to publicly shame my neighbor into returning this amazing garbage can, and my other neighbor’s overly offended response,” Cynthia says. As of yet, she adds, “the mystery of the missing garbage can remains unsolved.”

Meanwhile, I think some of us are still a little confused about what type of emergency constitutes calling 911. (Hint: a missing garbage can is not one of them.)

One of the neighbors told us they saw you take a white garbage can from our yard. It is custom for our cabinets [sic] and we need it. Please return it.  No questions asked.  Thank you. Response: No questions asked, how dare you. You got the wrong neighbors.  look [e]lsewhere for your can. Or call 911.You could of [sic] asked us about it instead of leaving a nasty note.

related: An eye for an eye, an eyesore for an eyesore

Tags: garbage · neighbors · Oops? · Seattle · stealing