Entries Tagged as 'stealing'
So, you still haven’t tried “new taste of Domino’s Pizza,” despite the barrage of marketing dollars being spent encouraging you to do so? Not to worry! I’ll save you the heartburn incurred by a certain food-filching WashU student and his victims.
Here’s the scoop: If you order a pizza from Domino’s, there’s a 60% chance it will taste like a college student’s balls, and a 40% chance it will taste like a college student’s balls. (Oh, and to the Domino’s brand managers reading this: feel free to quote us on that!)
Explains Bridget in St. Louis: “There has been a quite nefarious food thief stealing from the dorm’s community refrigerator lately, and I should know, since my stuff has been taken too. There have been a couple of complaints posted to the fridge, but this is the best one I’ve seen. It was written on a napkin duct-taped to a pizza box that had been (rather hastily) stuffed in the refrigerator.”
related: My mum bought me that pizza!
extra credit: “New York Times Discovers New Trend: Bros Icing Bros” [gawker.com]
Tags: college life · die bitch die · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · not-so-veiled threats · pizza · shameless meme-mongering · St. Louis · stealing
Chris found this not-so-nice note in the laundry room of his nice townhouse complex. What’s interesting here is how the author seems to undermine his or her own logic. (As Chris put it, “I know it’s really pathetic to steal a dryer sheet and a quarter, but really, is it that big of a deal?”)
If it’s not about the 25 cents, but rather, the principle of the thing, well…which is worse? To take a quarter from an empty laundry room, knowing that one of your neighbors left it there? Or to post a dick-ish anonymous note for all to see…instead of, say, keeping your damn quarters in your pocket like everybody else?
related: I know where you live, laundry thief
Tags: ellipses-crazed · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · grow up · I know who you are · karma's a bitch · laundry · message to all intended for one · money · neighbors · stealing · Tucson
I’d like to imagine that this note, spotted by Michael in Sydney, Australia…
And this note, documented by Ron in Michigan…
…are both connected by one shamelessly bum-scratching female bicyclist.
related: Failed strategies in bicycle theft deterrence
Tags: bicycle · CAPS LOCK · stealing · WTF?
Trixie found this morally and grammatically curious note pinned to clothesline in her boyfriend’s Detroit neighborhood. So, uh, if you’re looking for a safe house after a prison break…
related: I know where she lives.
Tags: CAPS LOCK · Detroit · stealing · your/you're
“My mother sent me this gem of a newspaper clipping from my hometown in Florida,” Kim says. “I didn’t know if she had any personal involvement in this tragedy, or if she just thought it was hilarious, like I did.”
(Perhaps it was intended as a cautionary tale. Or a warning to keep an eye out for one-legged flamingos?)
related: askin’ for it
Tags: Florida · newspaper · not-so-veiled threats · small town living · stealing
So, you don’t want to share your super-special non-dairy creamer/handsoap with the rest of the office?
You could go for the semi-direct approach…
But as Ocie in Petaluma, California witnessed, that might not be enough of a deterrent.
In that case, you could try to dial up the crazy a little more, like Nicole in Florida…
Or you just might have to get a little bit creative.
“Truth be told,” says Mick in McLean, Virginia, “I never did check to see what was in the container.” (Which I guess was kinda the point, right?)
related: I, who should seriously lay off the caffeine
Tags: California · coffee · New York · Northern Virginia · office fridge · Orlando · piss · stealing · Texas
Jack and Sarah in Tacoma, Washington both spotted this note taped to the window of a coffee shop outside the Fort Lewis military base in Tillicum. While I particularly enjoy the slow crescendo of this note, I’m not sure the manager of the H&R Block across the street would feel the same.
related: Raging against the little guy
Tags: most popular notes of 2010 · not-so-veiled threats · stealing · vandalism · Washington state
Most office fridge notes — especially when they pertain to specialty “diet” items like, say, a Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich — read something like this one (from a cubicle farm in Burbank, California).
Not so at Rocky‘s office in Austin, Texas…but office drama is never too hard to find in the shared fridge.
Of course, you don’t even have to be a sentient being to fall into a similar trap.
If you’ve shopped online at Amazon.com lately, you might have noticed that they’ve starting suggesting using a custom “PayPhrase” to speed up express checkout. After placing a recent order, Rosalie in Seattle did a double-take when she saw the phrase Amazon picked for her.
related: Sweet & Lowdown
Tags: food · kinda creepy · office fridge · smartass · stealing · WTF?
Angie in Columbus, Ohio says this is the second (hilariously) furious fridge note to be posted lately in the office kitchenette. Adds Angie: “Who knew a Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich fit into a ‘special diet’?” Perhaps next time the writer could just hop (er, drive) on over to Taco Bell?
related: It’s not funny, it’s my sandwich
extra credit: This is why you’re fat.
Tags: bullet points · Columbus · food · obnoxious definition · office fridge · stealing · thanks (but not really) · that's disrespectful
“I don’t even like cats,” our submitter in San Francisco admits, “but reading the note made me want to go inside to see what someone would be so inclined to steal.”
related: Do not kiss on someone else’s kiss
Tags: cats · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · San Francisco · stealing