PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » Houston http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people Wed, 08 Feb 2012 19:51:33 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 The printer doesn’t appreciate your tone. http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/02/08/out-of-toner/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/02/08/out-of-toner/#comments Wed, 08 Feb 2012 19:51:33 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=20924 If only there were a simple solution to this problem…

PRINTER OUT OF TONER Please use another Printer that has Toner. Because this one doesn't. Don't bother complaining. There are other Printers with Toner. The Splash one is rarely used nowadays. It's lonely. It has excess toner. This message is a waste of toner. PROCRASTINATION.

related: PC Load Letter?!

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/02/08/out-of-toner/feed/ 21 So…atheists shop for free? http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/12/08/atheists-shop-free/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/12/08/atheists-shop-free/#comments Fri, 09 Dec 2011 04:55:27 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=19980 Spotted by Analee at Houston’s annual Nutcracker Market, “a holiday shopping wonderland“…

This business belonds to God. If you steal from us you are stealing from Him. It's much cheaper to pay our price than His. Thanks!

related: No, He uses Vaseline.

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/12/08/atheists-shop-free/feed/ 43 It’s a backbreaker. http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/12/04/heavy-desk/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/12/04/heavy-desk/#comments Mon, 05 Dec 2011 01:21:03 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=19965 As amused as Emily in Houston was by this item description at the local Salvation Army store, she had to empathize a bit with the poor sucker who wrote it. (“The desk really was large and heavy-looking,” she says.)

The Salvation Army Family Store and Donation Center - $39.99 Item: HEAVY Desk Description: It's a backbreaker

related: We don’t want your ugly couches and heavy desks.

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/12/04/heavy-desk/feed/ 15 I’m not exactly sure what a “pre-warning” is, but it sure sounds serious. http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/06/22/rooster-pre-warning/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/06/22/rooster-pre-warning/#comments Thu, 23 Jun 2011 03:34:12 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=18772 Roslyn in Houston found this note under her roommate’s windshield wiper just over a month after they both moved in. Puzzlingly, she says, “We do not own a rooster, nor have we ever seen or even heard one.”

(In that case, Roslyn, I’d tell your roommate’s boyfriend to pre-watch-out.)

This rooster is a serious problem!!! He is going to get hunted if someone doesn't get rid of him!! Pre-Warning!

related: Cock fight!

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2011/06/22/rooster-pre-warning/feed/ 54 No, your children will never appreciate the weight you gained for them. http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/09/22/no-your-children-will-never-appreciate-the-weight-you-gained-for-them/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/09/22/no-your-children-will-never-appreciate-the-weight-you-gained-for-them/#comments Thu, 23 Sep 2010 02:43:42 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=16542 So, the other day, Olivia’s mother and aunt were having a conversation, and her Mom was fretting about how she’d been overeating this week and how she was going back on her diet the very next day and blahblahblahwhydon’tgrown-upsevertalkaboutanythinginteresting.

Olivia says this inspired her eavesdropping 7-year-old sister to post this helpful reminder where their Mom gets ready in the morning, just to make sure she wouldn’t forget!

mommy please do not eat to much. you must eat frutes and vechtubles. Love Amanda. and you will be butifle enitimes and you will be skiny all times.

related: Please don’t take this the wrong way, pregnant lady, but have you considered Weight Watchers?

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/09/22/no-your-children-will-never-appreciate-the-weight-you-gained-for-them/feed/ 55 If you thought your microwave was dirty… http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/08/25/if-you-thought-your-microwave-was-dirty/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/08/25/if-you-thought-your-microwave-was-dirty/#comments Thu, 26 Aug 2010 03:05:17 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=16394 …then you obviously haven’t been introduced to the Houston, Texas model apparently gunning for the title of “the Dane Cook of household appliances.”

(For that, you can be thankful.)

STOP! Don't touch me there: these are my no-no squares. Don't put anything on top of me, only inside (foreplay isn't needed). Please keep me clean...Only your mom likes it dirty. Hugs & Kisses, Your Friendly Neighborhood Microwave

related: Microwave on the run!

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/08/25/if-you-thought-your-microwave-was-dirty/feed/ 51 Sounds like somebody needs a vacation. http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/04/30/sounds-like-somebody-needs-a-vacation/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/04/30/sounds-like-somebody-needs-a-vacation/#comments Sat, 01 May 2010 01:31:18 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=14298 Luckily, Liz in Houston convinced her work buddy not to forward this not-at-all-passive Jerry Springer-esque rant to the entire company e-mail list, as originally intended. (Otherwise, work buddy’s much-needed vacation might have turned out to be a permanent one.)

If I catch another one of you getting on our already crammed slow a$ elevators to go down one friggin floor I might lose it. It took me 11 minutes to get to the lobby. Want to know why? Shut up, I'm telling you why. Cause you lazy mother f'ers use it to get from the 21st to the 20th floors.I see you, you aren't even wearing uncomfortable designer shoes, so you have no excuse except that pile of lard you call your a$. I'm watching you...

related: Do your stairs think you’re fat?

extra credit: How not to land an internship [gawker.com]

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/04/30/sounds-like-somebody-needs-a-vacation/feed/ 78 Mad, but not mad enough to forego a French braid http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/01/17/i-want-to-inform-you/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/01/17/i-want-to-inform-you/#comments Sun, 17 Jan 2010 23:53:44 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=12783 Claire and her mom found this relic of childhood while going through a filing cabinet over Christmas. “Neither of us know what prompted it,” Claire says, “though apparently I was mad enough about something to write her this note, but not mad enough to go to bed without her telling me goodnight. Boy, was I one passive-aggressive 11-year-old!”

Dear Mom, I want to inform you that I am not feeling like I want to talk to you so please just say goodnite then remember I will be up early so you can do my hair. Sincerly, Claire

related: I’ll have you know


]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/01/17/i-want-to-inform-you/feed/ 45 And a very happy Earth Day to you! http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/04/22/and-a-very-happy-earth-day-to-you/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/04/22/and-a-very-happy-earth-day-to-you/#comments Wed, 22 Apr 2009 18:04:55 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=10909 Alec in Houston found this little work of art on his desk, he says, “after I went out for lunch and didn’t do the dishes like they had asked.” With gritted teeth, he goes on: “They have ‘too much work’ and I have ‘none’ so I might as well wash them!”

Thanks so much for not wasting water on doing the dishes

related: Al Gore knows you drove when you could have taken your new bicycle

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/04/22/and-a-very-happy-earth-day-to-you/feed/ 87 Filthy, and very nasty http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/04/21/filthy-and-very-nasty/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/04/21/filthy-and-very-nasty/#comments Tue, 21 Apr 2009 22:00:38 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=10904 Writes Tim in Berkeley: “Although this note is over 17 years old, I think it’s still worth submitting, at the very least as an example of notes from a bygone era. I received this note from the apartment manager when I was a senior at Rice University, living in an off-campus apartment. Admittedly, I wasn’t the cleanest tenant — but what 20-year-old college kid living alone in a studio apartment is?”

Sorry about this, but what I have said is the truth.

Adds Tim: “The really sad thing was that I had cleaned my apartment before this note — she should have seen the place before!”

related: be informed, homeland security will be

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/04/21/filthy-and-very-nasty/feed/ 169 A day in the life of a crank http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/04/15/a-day-in-the-life-of-a-crank/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/04/15/a-day-in-the-life-of-a-crank/#comments Wed, 15 Apr 2009 18:09:07 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=10787 What to do after you’ve already written your daily letters to the editor, congressman and the local weatherman and you’ve still got hours to go before the early bird buffet? Well, you turn to the classifieds!

Dear gar. sale persons: if you just put out signs, you would have no "early birds." Why advert. in Chronicle then say no early? Don't advert. there. Just put out signs. They'll come - but later. Wear earplugs.


related: Cloudy with a chance of hate mail

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/04/15/a-day-in-the-life-of-a-crank/feed/ 172 Maybe if you had just an itty-bitty limp? http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/02/17/maybe-if-you-had-just-an-itty-bitty-limp/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/02/17/maybe-if-you-had-just-an-itty-bitty-limp/#comments Wed, 18 Feb 2009 03:22:10 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=10457 First of all, the disclaimer: Our anonymous submitter in Houston lives in an apartment complex with very limited parking for residents. “When I come home from work late at night,” she explains, “the handicapped parking spot is typically the only one available.” That excuse, however, doesn’t seem to cut it for one of her neighbors.

As you’ll see from the note left on our submitter’s windshield, this eagle-eyed neighbor perhaps isn’t what you’d call “book-smart,” but — gosh darn it — what she lacks in basic spelling and grammar skills she more than makes up for with raw gumption and a steely sense of self-righteousness!

To my horror, you don't have a single bit of a limp.

[Rough translation, from our anonymous submitter: "I see that you are not handicapped, but you park in the handicapped parking spot in our apartment complex. I am not handicapped, and I don't know anyone in the complex who is, but I feel entitled to tell you to stop parking there.  Furthermore, I feel entitled enough to have your car towed if you park there again."]

related: Mahvelous, just mahvelous

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/02/17/maybe-if-you-had-just-an-itty-bitty-limp/feed/ 342 The audacity of theft http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/06/06/the-audacity-of-theft/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/06/06/the-audacity-of-theft/#comments Fri, 06 Jun 2008 19:54:19 +0000 kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=5643 Writes an anonymous submitter in Houston: “A neighbor in my building put up an Obama yard sign on the door of her apartment around the time of the Texas primary. When it disappeared, I assumed she took it down herself.”

Then up went this note — a cheerful bit of propaganda that oh-so-subtly disproves all those ugly stereotypes about “self-righteous Obama supporters” with a colorful blaze of moralistic tsk-tsking and First-Amendment flag-waving. (Woo! Obama ’08!)

the audacity of theft

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/06/06/the-audacity-of-theft/feed/ 152 The art of the passive-aggressive note http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/05/23/the-art-of-the-passive-aggressive-note/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/05/23/the-art-of-the-passive-aggressive-note/#comments Fri, 23 May 2008 16:11:47 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=662 Sure, it’d be easier and quicker to just clean it up. But the modern passive-aggressive (like Katey in Berkeley’s ex-roommate) can’t pass up the opportunity to make a point.

CAT ACCIDENT ->

A common variation on the Van der Rohe approach, as documented below by Sam in Dallas, is the so-called “Reverse Magritte.”

NOT A TRASH CAN

Meanwhile, post-modern passive-aggressives (like this New York office-worker below) can’t resist throwing some irony into the mix, intentional or not.

WTF? "What the fuck?"

More recently, passive-aggressives have begun to show the influence of the burgeoning neo-pop movement. Our anonymous submitter in Houston, for example, designed the original stamp below for use in his work. “I am an engineer and we have to mark up technical drawings for manufacture,” he explains, in his artist’s statement. “It gets used at least twice a day.”

WTF?

The bleeding-edge of passive-aggressive note-writing, however, lies on the west coast, where Rebecca in San Francisco says that in the past, “We’ve had an ongoing series of notes left in the office kitchen — usually of the ‘your mother doesn’t work here’ or ‘there is no such thing as the coffee fairy’ variety.” The Koons-inspired piece currently on display in the office breakroom, however, makes its point with no words at all.

the Jeff Koons approach

related: Why-fi

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