Entries Tagged as 'thanks (but not really)'

Have you and your kids had “The Talk?”

January 23rd, 2015 · No Comments

Something to consider the next time you consider staying at a Holiday Inn Express on your next family vacation…

Sounds like you guys had a great night. Congratulations. Just wanted to thank you for the opportunity to, at 3 am, have the conversation with my 7 year old son with autism that no one was coming through the wall and the people next door aren't really hurt. It was really awesome. Have a great day. #thishotelhasthinwalls

When I first saw the above note on reddit, I experienced a bit of déjà vu. It took me a sec to figure out why…

Bears, birds, and bees at Glacier National Park

related: Bears, birds & bees at Glacier National Park

Tags: hotels · sex sex sex · thanks (but not really) · Won't somebody think of the children?

Thank heaven for little girls

March 3rd, 2014 · 28 Comments

Writes our submitter, Amy: “In going through my late great-grandmother’s memorabilia trunk, I saw that she apparently kept a ‘thank you’ letter I wrote her when I was eight years old.” (Said Amy’s mother, of the discovery:  ”I clearly did not supervise the writing of this note.”)

Dear G.G. The five dollars were mostly spent on a record by the Village People. This letter is late because so was the five dollars. Thank you Sincerely Amy

related: Grandma saves granddaughter the trouble; writes thank you note to herself

Tags: family · kids · thanks (but not really)

The cowardly lawn

January 22nd, 2014 · 83 Comments

Writes Claire in Cincinnati: “This individual moved in a month ago and is already getting into a note war with the neighbors!”

To the 'neighbors': Thanks for the letter. Worry about yourself. Not my lawn. For our real neighbors, we apologize. Thanks for being a coward!

To the 'neighbors': Thanks for the letter. Worry about yourself. Not my lawn. For our real neighbors, we apologize. Thanks for being a coward!

related: An eyesore for an eyesore

Tags: Cincinnati · neighbors · public shaming · thanks (but not really)

Neat freaks on speed

December 17th, 2013 · 129 Comments

Our submitter in Boston says she found this note on the kitchen counter “after my evil roommate abused some Adderall and stayed up cleaning, organizing, and generally banging around till an obscene hour.”

I am so sorry that I cleaned the entire house again. I am also sorry for doing everybody's dishes + cleaning up after their dishes. Have fun trashing the entire apartment. Especially since you have never been loud :)

Adds our submitter: “I can’t wait until the day when I live alone.”

related: The patron(izing) saint of roommates

Tags: Boston · cleaning · mean girls · roommates · smiley · thanks (but not really)

La petite mort du poulet

November 5th, 2013 · 50 Comments

Melissa in Ontario received this note — attached to a raw chicken breast and wrapped in plastic wrap — pushed through her mail slot several years ago. To this day, she says, “I’ve never been able to figure out what I did that was so horrible/distracting that it ruined the best orgasm of someone’s life and also what raw chicken has to do with it.”

Thanks for ruining the best orgasm of my life!

related: Down and dirty down under

Tags: Ontario · sex sex sex · thanks (but not really) · WTF?

The stall-sanitizing shimmy

September 29th, 2013 · 51 Comments

Leah spotted this note in the changing area at Colman Pool in Seattle, a city she describes as “the epicenter of passive-aggressive communication.” Adds Leah: “I like the image of the kid’s shimmying out under the stall door as being a nifty method of floor cleaning. It’s both disgusting and passive-aggressive in the extreme!”

To the kid who locks the stall door and crawls out under the door: Thank you for using your swimsuit to mop dirt, germs, and wet toilet paper off of our restroom floor. We appreciate the extra help keeping the facility clean. If you would like to volunteer for more dirty jobs, please come visit us at the office. We have plenty of other tasks, like cleaning hair balls from the drains and scraping gum off the deck, which we would be happy to train you to do. Thanks! Colman Pool Staff

related: A few reasons not to feel sad that the public pool is closed for the season

Tags: bathroom · kids · Seattle · swimming pool · thanks (but not really) · that's disgusting

But…but…I’m a grown-up now!

August 21st, 2013 · 65 Comments

Writes our submitter in Michigan: “My sister-in-law graduated high school recently, and apparently calling to congratulate her — as opposed to driving 1200 miles to attend the ceremony —  was a major slight.” (A slight I’m guessing she’d be willing to graciously overlook in exchange for 50 bucks or so.)

Dear [redacted],  Thank you for the card you didn't send me and the text I never got! I also appreciate all the effort you put into trying to come to my party! I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH Love, Your baby sister

related: Congratulations! At some point in time, through no effort of your own, you were born.

Tags: family · sarcasm · signed with love · thanks (but not really)

No problem — ’twas a piece of a cake!

June 18th, 2013 · 91 Comments

“Our organization recently moved most of its employees from several small offices into one large office,” writes our submitter in Vancouver. “It only took five months for the kitchen conflict to ramp up into a full-blown note war.”

thank you for helping yourself to half of my birthday cake....I guess I didn't need the whole cake to share with my friends and coworkers anyways. ...and happy birthday to you too!

To the leaver of the cake: You're very welcome.

...and someone helped themselves to one of my steam buns (leftovers) in a takeout box but I have a bad cold so they'll get the bad karma back.

related: Let the rest of us eat cake.

Tags: birthday · cake · karma's a bitch · note wars · office fridge · stealing · thanks (but not really) · Vancouver

Presenting the new Mercedes-Benz No-Class

May 16th, 2013 · 84 Comments

Writes our submitter in Brisbane, Australia: “It wasn’t me that reported the rich guy to the council, but it sure gave me a few laughs.”

To whom it may concern, Thank you so much for having my car booked today. You must have nothing better to do than make petty complaints to council. Never mind it is only $100, I make that much in half an hour every day. You must not be a very good driver if you were not able to get out of your driveway that had about 3 meters of room still available. I could have easily driven in and out of there without any issue with the huge amount of space left. Perhaps you should re-sit your driving exams again? I think you are jealous I have a new Mercedes-Benz and you don't? You do not seem to be very well educated in that you can not even spell inconsiderate. Kind regards, A Mercedes-Benz Driver

related: I know, all black sedans look the same

extra credit: This Is Why People Think Mercedes-Benz Drivers Are Asshats [jalopnik.com]

Tags: Australia · car · money · parking · thanks (but not really)

A pre-emptive strike

May 2nd, 2013 · 44 Comments

Eddy shares a house in Providence, Rhode Island with his sister. “We’re both busy with school and work,” Eddy says, “so we take turns cleaning the bathroom.” Well, sort of. “I usually put it off for weeks,” Eddy admits.

Dear Eddy, Thank you for taking the time out of your busy week to clean the bathroom. I have bought cleaning supplies for your endeavor. ? Carissa

Adds Eddy: “By the way, the heart translates loosely to ‘I’ll f’ing kill you.’”

related: The patron(izing) saint of roommates

Tags: bathroom · cleaning · family · Providence · thanks (but not really)