Entries Tagged as 'thanks (but not really)'

The time-tested “sausage, egg and cheese” diet

March 10th, 2010 · 146 Comments

Angie in Columbus, Ohio says this is the second (hilariously) furious fridge note to be posted lately in the office kitchenette. Adds Angie: “Who knew a Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich fit into a ‘special diet’?” Perhaps next time the writer could just hop (er, drive) on over to Taco Bell?

related: It’s not funny, it’s my sandwich
extra credit: This [...]

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Tags: bullet points · food · obnoxious definition · office fridge · stealing · thanks (but not really) · that's disrespectful

And you wonder why we don’t visit more often…

March 8th, 2010 · 62 Comments

Grandmothers live for thank you notes — receiving them, writing them, not-so-subtly inquiring whether one might be forthcoming.
Jennifer in Michigan received this gracious note of thanks after a Christmas visit to her Grandma. Cue the violins, please…

(If you can’t read Grandma cursive, just mouse over the note for a transcription.)
related: Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have

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Tags: family · guilt trip · michigan · thanks (but not really)

Starve on!

January 27th, 2010 · 138 Comments

Explains our submitter in New York: “This note is the result of a less-than-enthusiastic holiday food drive. Our office is a gray, lifeless place — what can one expect?”
(I don’t know…maybe some munchkins now and then?)

related: But what about Hawaiian Shirt Day?

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Tags: all-staff e-mail · guilt trip · office · thanks (but not really)

An e-mail from my arteries

January 19th, 2010 · 65 Comments

Filching someone’s McDonald’s coupons…the “aggressive” flipside of the passive-aggressive offering of coupons for fitness DVDs?
“The person who sent this e-mail is actually a great and very well-liked individual at my place of work,” our submitter says. (Assuming, I guess, that one doesn’t come between him and his Egg McMuffins.)

related: sympathy for the devil
extra credit: Shaking [...]

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Tags: all-staff e-mail · canada · ellipses-crazed · guilt trip · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police · stealing · thanks (but not really)

You’re very welcome!

October 20th, 2009 · 135 Comments

Jonathan, John and Michael  share a roof deck with their next-door neighbors in San Francisco, who Jonathan says “repeatedly, and seemingly sincerely, invited us to use their barbecue grill any old time.”
One weekend, JJ&M decided to take them up on their offer. They organized a small cook-out for friends and (oh-so-thoughtfully) invited the neighbors to [...]

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Tags: neighbors · san francisco · thanks (but not really)

The nibbler: the plague of office breakrooms everywhere

September 15th, 2009 · 99 Comments

Back in my college newspaper days, the pizzas in the back room always ended up, by the end of the night, completely decimated — some slices had the cheese picked off, others had the crusts nibbled away, and then those slices were oh-so-charitably left in the pizza box, presumably with the idea that some other, [...]

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Tags: food · kitchen · office · thanks (but not really)

the patron(izing) saint of roommates

September 1st, 2009 · 91 Comments

Carmen in Washington, D.C. says she and her roommates suffered for months at the hands of this “crazy, obsessive-compulsive who made our lives miserable.” By the end of the fall semester, Carmen says, the house was a near-war zone, and the girl finally moved out.
“Around the time she was packing up her things, we decorated for [...]

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Tags: a little patronizing · cleaning · holiday spirit · mean girls · roommates · thanks (but not really) · university

your vest smells like beaver mustard

August 31st, 2009 · 112 Comments

Today’s post is dedicated to the dirty minds in the department of double entendres. (Hey there, commenters!)
The first note, as spotted by Dana in San Francisco, needs no further introduction.

Next up: Michelle in Orlando says this note was posted on the employee mailboxes at the theme park where she works. “Our uniforms include a vest [...]

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Tags: double-entendre alert · heart · office · p.s. · sad face · smiley · stealing · thanks (but not really)

gone, but not bitter or anything

August 30th, 2009 · 152 Comments

Writes Marni in Brooklyn: “We tried this restaurant back when they first opened. The food was pretty bad, it took forever to arrive, and I believe our waitress quit or was fired (either way, there was some yelling) during our meal. Many gimmicks involving morning coffee were attempted, but the signage made the food look really [...]

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Tags: guilt trip · restaurant · retail hell · thanks (but not really)

Dear Grandma: Thanks, I guess.

July 8th, 2009 · 253 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter: “This was sent to my 6-year-old step daughter by her grandma. The birthday present in question was a pack of writing paper and $5 American. We live in canada.”
(The “did you get…” pretense combined with the oh-so-subtle post script is so classic “passive-aggressive grandma” that I cannot even handle it. Bonus [...]

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Tags: birthday · canada · martyr complex · ohio · old folks · p.s. · thanks (but not really) · xoxo

I, who should seriously lay off the caffeine

June 30th, 2009 · 222 Comments

This martyr alert spotted by Randy on the breakroom fridge of his office in Chico, California…

related: hostile takeover

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Tags: california · coffee · martyr complex · milk · office fridge · thanks (but not really)

J-school today: from a dying medium to a dead horse

June 4th, 2009 · 119 Comments

This note — spotted by Erik in a break room at Northwestern’s Medill School of Journalism — takes me back to my days as a bright-eyed young reporter cheerfully slaving away at my college daily, where the grizzled old alumni “mentors” working at the Times or the Globe always seemed to have the same advice:  [...]

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Tags: chicago · kids today · thanks (but not really) · university · xoxo

thanks a lot

June 2nd, 2009 · 109 Comments

Erin in Minneapolis found this note attached to a door in an apartment building of her then-boyfriend. (Whether or not this act of fate would later precipitate her own breakup remains unclear.)
Oh, and Mary? Paper is traditionally given as a gift for the first anniversary. Perhaps a note written on an empty soda can would [...]

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Tags: sig o · thanks (but not really)

blowing smoke

May 28th, 2009 · 341 Comments

There’s a guilt trip…

and then there’s a guilt trip.

related: Your hamster died? Well, I can top that.

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Tags: guilt trip · new york · nice stationery · oakland · odor · thanks (but not really)

No good deed…

May 12th, 2009 · 300 Comments

D in Sunderland, Mass. received a piece of her previous manager’s mail several months after he was fired. “I felt it was only right to contact him about a membership directory for an organization with which he was heavily involved,” she says. “I was genuinely shocked to receive his reply, especially considering how careful he [...]

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Tags: e-mail · massachusetts · thanks (but not really)

spit & vinegar

May 3rd, 2009 · 196 Comments

Writes Matt in Los Angeles: “I went to get some of the 2% milk I keep in our communal work fridge for my coffee, and BAM! — front and center was this lovely.”

related: and I’m singing “uh oh” on a Friday night

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Tags: heart · los angeles · office fridge · rebuttals · spitting · thanks (but not really)

And a very happy Earth Day to you!

April 22nd, 2009 · 86 Comments

Alec in Houston found this little work of art on his desk, he says, “after I went out for lunch and didn’t do the dishes like they had asked.” With gritted teeth, he goes on: “They have ‘too much work’ and I have ‘none’ so I might as well wash them!”

related: Al Gore knows you [...]

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Tags: a little patronizing · dishes · houston · office · thanks (but not really) · the earth

Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have

April 19th, 2009 · 91 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter: “Unable to visit my mother last year for Mother’s Day, my partner and I sent her a box of chocolate truffles and an antique brooch. This is her ‘thank you’ note (which is really more like a ‘fuck you’ note).”

The final “fuck you,” of course, is the nearly indecipherable handwriting. Here’s [...]

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Tags: moms & dads · thanks (but not really)

Oh, the Rancher and the McMansioner should be friends

March 22nd, 2009 · 222 Comments

Our anonymous submitter found several copies of this notice posted around her McMansion-filled neighborhood in Leander, Texas, just five charmingly rustic miles north of Austin proper. (If you’re a little short in the 4-H ribbon department, that’s your cue to shake your head and mutter “Pshaw, city folk!”)

related: If your grandma wrote PSAs

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Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · neighbors · texas · thanks (but not really)

awkward cake

February 19th, 2009 · 151 Comments

lately, our anonymous submitter in new york has been going to the housingworks cafe to study for the bar exam. because tables near electrical outlets are hot commodities, for the past few days she’s ended up sharing a table with the same “over-the-hill dude.”
our submitter knows her table-sharing etiquette: “i always keep the table free [...]

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Tags: new york · thanks (but not really)

The classic all-staff e-mail

February 5th, 2009 · 99 Comments

Shirley in Canada says one of her coworkers sent this e-mail to the entire building — several hundred people in all — after what we can only assume was an unsuccessful half-day cooling-off period. (Or perhaps just several hours spent choosing the most whimsically enraged font/color combination.)

Meanwhile, this all-staff e-mail was sent to over 400 [...]

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Tags: all-staff e-mail · australia · canada · e-mail · guilt trip · office · stealing · thanks (but not really)

cat fight!

January 24th, 2009 · 267 Comments

one night last summer, sylvia in new york was just chillin’ out, watching tv, when she noticed a cat had wandered through the open window. sylvia, an animal-lover, assumed he was a stray (he didn’t have a collar), and because “he was super cute and affectionate,” she says, “we let him stay a little while. [...]

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Tags: cats · neighbors · new york · thanks (but not really)

i am seriously like gonna hyperventilate and die, and it will be your fault

October 21st, 2008 · 162 Comments

earlier this year, emma in california was sharing a kitchen with three other girls. one day, out of the blue, one of her roommates posted this note. (warning: prepare to reexamine any preconceptions you may have about mormons, straight-edgers, and college-aged women in general.)

by the next morning, emma says, the note was promptly defaced, but [...]

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Tags: cleaning · god · mean girls · roommates · saga · sex sex sex · signed with love · thanks (but not really) · university · you know who you are

the slow build

October 9th, 2008 · 106 Comments

like so many passive-aggressive notewriters, the author of this note — which sarah in brockton, mass. says was posted in the elevator, front hallway, back hallway and the mailroom of her building after a particularly rowdy friday — just can’t seem to fully commit to sarcasm as a rhetorical technique.

(you know, because otherwise people [...]

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Tags: massachusetts · neighbors · noise · thanks (but not really)

there are only 10 types of people in the world…those who remember to bathe regularly, and those who don’t.

September 24th, 2008 · 200 Comments

“neumont is a strictly computer-science college located on the second and third floors of an office building,” writes jared in south jordan, utah. it’s therefore a point of pride for neumonters that out of several hundred CS students, “there are [only] a few who seem to forget to shower for a few weeks at a [...]

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Tags: hair · hygiene · thanks (but not really) · utah