Entries Tagged as 'thanks (but not really)'
September 15th, 2009 · 99 Comments
Back in my college newspaper days, the pizzas in the back room always ended up, by the end of the night, completely decimated — some slices had the cheese picked off, others had the crusts nibbled away, and then those slices were oh-so-charitably left in the pizza box, presumably with the idea that some other, slightly more desperate slob would come by later and feast on the picked-over remains. That behavior, it seems, doesn’t stop with graduation.
Exhibit a) from Chris in New York
Exhibit b) from Nate in D.C.
exhibit c) from Jason in Los Angeles
exhibit d) from Chloe in Vancouver
exhibit e) from Therese in Seattle
related: The bathroom stall booger epidemic
Tags: food · kitchen · muffins · office · pizza · thanks (but not really)
Carmen in Washington, D.C. says she and her roommates suffered for months at the hands of this “crazy, obsessive-compulsive who made our lives miserable.” By the end of the fall semester, Carmen says, the house was a near-war zone, and the girl finally moved out.
“Around the time she was packing up her things, we decorated for the holidays and cleaned up a bit. She was livid, and accused us of waiting to clean up until then because we had been trying to drive her from the house with the mess.” (Hmm…how would you classify that sort of behavior?)
A week later, Carmen and her roommates received this card. Enclosed: one house key, and one hearty holiday dose of condescension.
(the front of the card)
related: way harsh, tai
Tags: a little patronizing · cleaning · college life · holiday spirit · mean girls · roommates · thanks (but not really)
Today’s post is dedicated to the dirty minds in the department of double entendres. (Hey there, commenters!)
The first note, as spotted by Dana in San Francisco, needs no further introduction.
Next up: Michelle in Orlando says this note was posted on the employee mailboxes at the theme park where she works. “Our uniforms include a vest made of wool,” Michelle explains, “and when the vests get wet they smell (fittingly) like wet animal.”
related: covering all the bases
Tags: double-entendre alert · heart · office · p.s. · sad face · smiley · stealing · thanks (but not really)
Writes Marni in Brooklyn: “We tried this restaurant back when they first opened. The food was pretty bad, it took forever to arrive, and I believe our waitress quit or was fired (either way, there was some yelling) during our meal.
“Many gimmicks involving morning coffee were attempted, but the signage made the food look really unappealing, the type of cuisine was unclear, and there are so many restaurants in Park Slope that if you can’t stand out for good reasons, you’re just not going to succeed. Trying to make the neighborhood feel guilty about it ain’t gonna work.”
Of course, that doesn’t mean they won’t try!
Another small business CLOSED FOR GOOD, as spotted by the ulterior epicure in Lawrence, Kansas:
And by Erich in London, Ontario:
And in Tyler, Texas:
related: Top five musical crimes perpetrated by record store customers in the 90s and 2000s
Tags: guilt trip · restaurant · retail hell · thanks (but not really)
Let me stop you right there. Before you say anything else, have you consulted this sign, as spotted on the door of a souvenir shop by Angie in Seattle?
Or this one, as seen by Meghann outside a bar in San Francisco?
Well, then your questions will certainly be answered by my personal favorite, spotted by Jessie at a sandwich shop in Charlottesville, Virginia:
related: Listing in NOW Magazine’s adult classifieds? $70. Revenge?
Tags: "customer service" · Charlottesville · exclamation-point happy!!!! · San Francisco · Seattle · thanks (but not really) · Virginia
Writes our anonymous submitter: “This was sent to my six-year-old step daughter by her grandma. The birthday present in question was a pack of writing paper and $5 American. We live in Canada.”
(The “did you get…” pretense combined with the oh-so-subtle post script is so classic “passive-aggressive grandma” that I cannot even handle it. Bonus points for the repurposed note paper!)
Meanwhile, Toni spotted this grandma’s thank-you note on a closed booth at a flea market in Lakewood, Ohio.
related: But…but…I didn’t forget!
Tags: birthday · Canada · Grandma · martyr complex · Ohio · old folks · p.s. · thanks (but not really) · xoxo
This martyr alert spotted by Randy on the breakroom fridge of his office in Chico, California…
related: Coffee, mate?
Tags: California · coffee · martyr complex · milk · office fridge · thanks (but not really)
This note — spotted by Erik in a break room at Northwestern‘s Medill School of Journalism — takes me back to my days as a bright-eyed young reporter cheerfully slaving away at my college daily, where the grizzled old alumni “mentors” working at the Times or the Globe always seemed to have the same advice: if we were smart, we’d get the hell out of journalism before it was too late. (“Ha ha,” we’d laugh, awkwardly.) It’s somehow reassuring to know that kids today (“kids today!”) are still blithely ignoring their elders to pursue a degree that just might be the most unnecessary in higher education.
But seriously now. At this point, you’re like, “What is this biotch rambling on about? Doesn’t she know I don’t read text longer than 140 characters at a time? Show me the picture, dammit!” And that, young j-schoolers, is the topic of next week’s lecture.
related: the silverware segregationist
extra credit: the twitter explosion [american journalism review]
Tags: Chicago · college life · kids today · thanks (but not really) · xoxo
Erin in Minneapolis found this note attached to a door in an apartment building of her then-boyfriend. (Whether or not this act of fate would later precipitate her own breakup remains unclear.)
Oh, and Mary? Paper is traditionally given as a gift for the first anniversary. Perhaps a note written on an empty soda can would have been more appropriate for your tenth?
related: desperately seeking closure
Tags: sig o · thanks (but not really)
There’s a guilt trip…
And then there’s a guilt trip.
related: Your hamster died? Well, I can top that.
Tags: guilt trip · New York · nice stationery · Oakland · odor · thanks (but not really)