Entries Tagged as 'thanks (but not really)'
Writes our anonymous submitter: “Unable to visit my mother last year for Mother’s Day, my partner and I sent her a box of chocolate truffles and an antique brooch. This is her ‘thank you’ note (which is really more like a ‘fuck you’ note).”
The final “fuck you,” of course, is the nearly indecipherable handwriting. Here’s the transcription:
Looked forward to seeing you on Mother’s day. In Lieu of such optimism I enjoyed the truffles as fattening as they are + the pin is very attractive. Thanks. Love, Mom
related: I can has guilt trip?
Tags: Moms & Dads · Mother's Day · thanks (but not really)
Our anonymous submitter found several copies of this notice posted around her McMansion-filled neighborhood in Leander, Texas, just five charmingly rustic miles north of Austin proper. (If you’re a little short in the 4-H ribbon department, that’s your cue to shake your head and mutter “Pshaw, city folk!”)
related: If your grandma wrote PSAs
Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · horses, cows, & chickens · most popular notes of 2009 · MYOB · neighbors · Oops? · Texas · thanks (but not really)
Shirley in Canada says one of her coworkers sent this e-mail to the entire building — several hundred people in all — after what we can only assume was an unsuccessful half-day cooling-off period. (Or perhaps just several hours spent choosing the most whimsically enraged font/color combination.)
Meanwhile, this all-staff e-mail was sent to over 400 employees in Australia — “more than half of whom don’t even work in the same postcode.”
related: fight or flight
Tags: all-staff e-mail · Australia · Canada · e-mail · guilt trip · office · stealing · thanks (but not really)
One night last summer, Sylvia in New York was just chillin’ out watching TV, when she noticed a cat had wandered through the open window. Sylvia, an animal-lover, assumed he was a stray (he didn’t have a collar), and because “he was super cute and affectionate,” she says, “we let him stay a little while. he decided to make himself comfortable and fell asleep.”
The cat was gone by morning, but a few days later, Sylvia saw the same feline running down the sidewalk outside her apartment. Not wanting the poor kitty to get hit by a car or picked up by animal control, Sylvia scooped him up and brought him inside.
“I was going to ask around and see if anyone nearby owned him,” she says, but her neighbor beat her to the punch. “She knocked on our door and explained that an employee at the nail salon downstairs had seen me take him inside, and I told her I thought he was a stray. The woman seemed okay, took the cat, and I thought that was the end of it.”
The neighbor, it seems, thought otherwise.
related: A new tagline for the price is right?
Tags: cats · neighbors · New York · thanks (but not really)
Earlier this year, Emma in California was sharing a kitchen with three other girls. one day, out of the blue, one of her roommates posted this note. (Warning: prepare to reexamine any preconceptions you may have about Mormons, straight-edgers, and college-aged women in general.)
By the next morning, Wmma says, the note was promptly defaced, but Pam didn’t respond until about a week or so later, when she announced she was moving out. Apparently, she was saving it all up for her final missive. (Side note to God: While Pam may have a filthy mouth, she did censor herself from taking your name in vain!)
related: Losing lisa
extra credit: summer heights high [youtube]
Tags: cleaning · college life · God · mean girls · roommates · saga · sex sex sex · signed with love · thanks (but not really) · you know who you are
Like so many passive-aggressive notewriters, the author of this note — which Sarah in Brockton, Mass. says was posted in the elevator, front hallway, back hallway and the mailroom of her building after a particularly rowdy Friday — just can’t seem to fully commit to sarcasm as a rhetorical technique.
(You know, because otherwise people might not get it!!!)
related: Just in case you didn’t catch the sarcasm…
Tags: Massachusetts · neighbors · noise · thanks (but not really)
“Neumont is a strictly computer-science college located on the second and third floors of an office building,” writes Jared in South Jordan, Utah. It’s therefore a point of pride for Neumonters that out of several hundred CS students, “there are [only] a few who seem to forget to shower for a few weeks at a time.”
related: WoW, indeed
Tags: college life · elevator · hair · hygiene · thanks (but not really) · Utah
Our anonymous submitter in Takoma Park, Maryland says her roommate is constantly leaving little post-its and e-mails for the other roommates, but I think these two have a bit of yum-o synchronicity.
related: The first thing I did when I woke up
Tags: e-mail · food · Maryland · roommates · Takoma Park · thanks (but not really) · The Earth
An anonymous submitter in Ann Arbor, Michigan received this e-mail from a guy who just moved into her co-op (“basically a co-ed frat house”) for the rest of the summer. “We’ve tried to reason with him,” she says, to no avail. “When asked why he has to get up so early, he says, ‘I have important things to do in the morning,’ and that’s it.”
The even bigger mystery? Wonders our submitter: “Why, if he needs complete silence at night, did he move in with 16 other college kids on summer break?”
related: there will come soft pains
Tags: and that's an order · college life · drizzunk · e-mail · Michigan · noise · questionable logic · roommates · sleeping · spelling and grammar police · thanks (but not really)
In terms of the appropriate sympathetic nervous system response, an e-mail subject line like “big favor” is kinda the modern cubicle-dweller’s equivalent of “Saber-tooth tiger outside cave!”
(Note: this e-mail, our Seattle-area submitter says, is from the very same person who brought us this.)
related: Perhaps it’s time for a little group therapy?
Tags: all-staff e-mail · irregular capitalization · odor · office · oh no you didn't · Seattle · thanks (but not really) · vomit