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Entries Tagged as 'thanks (but not really)'

Oh, the Rancher and the McMansioner should be friends

March 22nd, 2009 · 221 Comments

Our anonymous submitter found several copies of this notice posted around her McMansion-filled neighborhood in Leander, Texas, just five charmingly rustic miles north of Austin proper. (If you’re a little short in the 4-H ribbon department, that’s your cue to shake your head and mutter “Pshaw, city folk!”)

Neighbors in Grand Mesa: I appreciate the concern as to the condition of my cattle. However, it is normal after calving that a cow looks "poor/starved." She also begins the nursing process that is a drain on her. I now have 6 spring calves. These are fed round bales on a regular basis as well as daily cattle feed. However, since you feel this is not enough, please feel free to contribute to their feed bill. You can send your contributions to [redacted]. Round bales are $55. Cubes $10 a bag. I do appreciate your concern and I look forward to your help in their care. And they will thank you too. Thanks too for calling the Williamson County Sheriff's Dept. It was good to see them again! They of course found no issue with the cattle.

related: If your grandma wrote PSAs

Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · horses, cows, & chickens · most popular notes of 2009 · MYOB · neighbors · Oops? · Texas · thanks (but not really)

The classic all-staff e-mail

February 5th, 2009 · 99 Comments

Shirley in Canada says one of her coworkers sent this e-mail to the entire building — several hundred people in all — after what we can only assume was an unsuccessful half-day cooling-off period. (Or perhaps just several hours spent choosing the most whimsically enraged font/color combination.)

To Whomever helped themselves to my Jarhead poster that hung in my cubicle. there are many other pictures you forgot to steal as well, along with things in drawers and foodstuffs you could have claimed as your own. I guess I'll just leave these out for you when the feeling strikes again that you'd like to pillage my cubicle for your own gain.

Meanwhile, this all-staff e-mail was sent to over 400 employees in Australia — “more than half of whom don’t even work in the same postcode.”

I'd like to thank who ever left the car magazine on my desk for me to read. That was really lovely. Thank you.

related: fight or flight

Tags: all-staff e-mail · Australia · Canada · e-mail · guilt trip · office · stealing · thanks (but not really)

Cat fight!

January 24th, 2009 · 268 Comments

One night last summer, Sylvia in New York was just chillin’ out watching TV, when she noticed a cat had wandered through the open window. Sylvia, an animal-lover, assumed he was a stray (he didn’t have a collar), and because “he was super cute and affectionate,” she says, “we let him stay a little while. he decided to make himself comfortable and fell asleep.”

The cat was gone by morning, but a few days later, Sylvia saw the same feline running down the sidewalk outside her apartment. Not wanting the poor kitty to get hit by a car or picked up by animal control, Sylvia scooped him up and brought him inside.

“I was going to ask around and see if anyone nearby owned him,” she says, but her neighbor beat her to the punch. “She knocked on our door and explained that an employee at the nail salon downstairs had seen me take him inside, and I told her I thought he was a stray. The woman seemed okay, took the cat, and I thought that was the end of it.”

The neighbor, it seems, thought otherwise.

3rd Floor Chinese Girl: Please do not just "take" my cat to your apartment without asking. Thanks lot!!!

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Tags: cats · neighbors · New York · thanks (but not really)

I am seriously like gonna hyperventilate and die, and it will be your fault

October 21st, 2008 · 162 Comments

Earlier this year, Emma in California was sharing a kitchen with three other girls. one day, out of the blue, one of her roommates posted this note. (Warning: prepare to reexamine any preconceptions you may have about Mormons, straight-edgers, and college-aged women in general.)

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By the next morning, Wmma says, the note was promptly defaced, but Pam didn’t respond until about a week or so later, when she announced she was moving out. Apparently, she was saving it all up for her final missive. (Side note to God: While Pam may have a filthy mouth, she did censor herself from taking your name in vain!)

i am seriously like gonna hyperventilate and die, and it will be your fault

related: Losing lisa

extra credit: summer heights high [youtube]

Tags: cleaning · college life · God · mean girls · roommates · saga · sex sex sex · signed with love · thanks (but not really) · you know who you are

The slow build

October 9th, 2008 · 106 Comments

Like so many passive-aggressive notewriters, the author of this note — which Sarah in Brockton, Mass. says was posted in the elevator, front hallway, back hallway and the mailroom of her building after a particularly rowdy Friday — just can’t seem to fully commit to sarcasm as a rhetorical technique.

Thank you Unit 205. Let's all be sure to thank unit 205 for the party last night. We should all feel lucky that we have a neighbor so considerate that they bring people into our building that treat it like a frat house. Your scumbag friends (the ones that were swearing at your neighbors) seem like really nice people. PIGS!!!

(You know, because otherwise people might not get it!!!)

related: Just in case you didn’t catch the sarcasm…

Tags: Massachusetts · neighbors · noise · thanks (but not really)

There are only 10 types of people in the world…those who remember to bathe regularly, and those who don’t.

September 24th, 2008 · 200 Comments

Neumont is a strictly computer-science college located on the second and third floors of an office building,” writes Jared in South Jordan, Utah. It’s therefore a point of pride for Neumonters that out of several hundred CS students, “there are [only] a few who seem to forget to shower for a few weeks at a time.”

Thanks to all Neumont U folks who were kind enough to shower and wash their  hair today it made the elevator ride so great. Oh Except that one Guy who's hair has never been washed.

related: WoW, indeed

Tags: college life · elevator · hair · hygiene · thanks (but not really) · Utah

Sorry, I’ve been sharing the olive oil with the squirrels

August 19th, 2008 · 176 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Takoma Park, Maryland says her roommate is constantly leaving little post-its and e-mails for the other roommates, but  I think these two have a bit of yum-o synchronicity.

Hi all, If you are in the habit of sharing our extra virgin olive oil, it is your turn to buy some.... if not, well, I guess I'm out of olive oil.

re: bread in trash — Is there any reason not to feed to squirrels, compost, or even eat this bread?

related: The first thing I did when I woke up

Tags: e-mail · food · Maryland · roommates · Takoma Park · thanks (but not really) · The Earth