Entries Tagged as 'that’s a fire hazard'

Aaaand…jazz hands!

January 29th, 2014 · 105 Comments

Who knew? Just add water to your ramen, and you end up with…ramen.

RAMEN PARTY!

But leave it alone and you get…a hot ramen dance party!

ramen party

This just in: According to our Seattle submitter, two of his office mates have started fires trying to microwave dry ramen. (NO PARTY FOR YOU!)

related: Four horsemen…and a microwave

Tags: clip art catastrophe · microwave · office · Seattle · that's a fire hazard

Well, that took an unexpected turn.

April 4th, 2012 · 81 Comments

Stephanie in Las Vegas says this exchange started out as a sugary-sweet back-and-forth love-fest between initiated by her husband, Brian. Then, one day, Stephanie says, “Brian woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and his alter ego took over.” What a charmer, that Brian!

Not to worry, though— it was all in jest, and no women or toasters were harmed in the making of this note. In fact, Stephanie says, “It totally made my day.” And as far the unplugging the toaster thing goes, she says, “We kinda have an OCD thing about the chance of burning the house down…don’t ask.”

Thank you for my lunch baby!! Love you soooo much! Love you so much too! I miss your face! Unplug the toaster motherfucker! I hate you

related: I’m calling to report a case of toaster abuse?

extra credit: Knock Knock Fill-in-the-Blank Passive-Aggressive Note Pad

Tags: heart · Las Vegas · love & marriage · most popular notes of 2012 · Say wha? · signed with love · that's a fire hazard · toaster

Short fuses over shorted fuses

July 14th, 2011 · 85 Comments

Well, here’s another one to file under I didn’t even know that was a thing.

Explains our submitter in Chicago: “We live in a VERY old building with a lot of electrical problems. Apparently, one of the tenants is blowing fuses daily and switching their blown fuses out with other units’ working ones. Crazy.”

Dear Jerkface who keeps stealing fuses, 1) You're a jerkface. 2) Fuses are expensive. You would know that if you went out and bought some instead of stealing other people's. 3) You obviously have some type of electrical issue that needs to be addressed. Call the management company before you burn down the building. Thanks!

related: This is not a thing! I refuse to acknowledge this is a thing!

Tags: Chicago · neighbors · nice stationery · stealing · that's a fire hazard

Fanning the first-floor flamers

January 10th, 2011 · 48 Comments

Hannah spotted this warning (and the accompanying Fire-Marshal takedown) posted at the University of Alaska art building in Juneau. On the ground floor.

1:

“It’s the ground floor; only an idiot would use the stairs to escape a fire. There’s a door over there ->  - if it’s on fire –  <-There’s a door over there.”
“WHERE’S YOUR IMAGINATION?”

“DUH, HE SOLD IT TO PAY FOR COLLEGE.”

“What are you talking about? I’m imagining students cramming into the stairwell per this sign’s advice, just to get upstairs and see an identical sign directing them back down into the flames.”

Adding to the sign’s absurdity, Hannah says, is the fact that “the building is only two stories, and built at the base of an embankment. The upper floor can be accessed by the street on the upper level, and the lower level can be accessed either by stairs from the upper level or by at least four exit doors on the lower level.”

related: Snark-itti

Tags: Alaska · college life · elevator · questionable logic · saga · smartass · that's a fire hazard

Recipe for roommate discord

November 17th, 2007 · 200 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Detroit tells us his roommate is a repeat offender when it comes to passive-aggressive note-leaving. This time around, he went with a note AND a text message. (“And it’s not even my fault!” our submitter protests.)

The oven was left on 450 again. Don't use the oven if you can't turn it OFF

related: Text me at work if you want to talk!

Tags: and that's an order · blitzkrieg approach · Detroit · kitchen · oven · roommates · text message · that's a fire hazard · turning on/off

This aggression will not stand, man

September 22nd, 2007 · 163 Comments

As a little weekend bonus, I bring you this screed from the Smith Daily Jolt’s alumnae forum. Yes, it’s long.

dailyjolt1.jpg [Read more →]

Tags: bathroom · college life · e-mail · garbage · just an asshole · martyr complex · money · not wrong · posted online · rebuttals · roommates · sig o · smoking · that's a fire hazard · TL;DR