Bob from San Francisco’s explanation: “Partied till 5 am, slept in and missed work, found this note under my door, had to take the walk of shame to find the hose and wash the sidewalk down.” Pooooor Bob, right?

Meanwhile, in Kentucky…

related: “Please stop urinating on the door handle” — and other totally reasonable requests.

From a convenience store in Florida:

A petting zoo in Virginia:

And a U.S. Army post in Washington State:

(Thanks to Nicolette, Gaby, and Kharissa for submitting!)

related: Is this a thing now?

Well, besides that whole skin cancer thing, there’s the fact that tanning booths — like  thrift-store fitting rooms — seem to bring out the animal in everyone. And that’s probably not the kind of “golden glow” you were aiming for, right?

Exhibit A) From Margo in Indiana:

Exhibit B) From Lisa in Ohio, an ominous threat indeed:

Exhibit C) From Emily in England:

Exhibit D) From Ann in Arkansas:

And Exhibit E) From an anonymous fake-baker in Louisiana:

related: When nature calls

extra credit: GTK is the new GTL

Our submitter, Rob in Cleveland, says he found this note on his computer screen upon returning to his desk after lunch one day. “I honestly don’t bring my toenail clippers to work,” Rob says. “They were just hurting inside my pocket so I put them on my desk and forgot about them, and this is what I get.”

At first glance, I thought the note must have been sarcastic — surely, no one would actually borrow another’s toenail clippers, right? — so I asked Rob for some clarification.

As it turns out, Rob is pretty sure the note was no joke. “The guy who wrote it is one of the grossest people at work,” he explains. And as for why he had toenail clippers in his pocket to begin with? Says Rob: “I cut my nails in my car on the way to work.”

Of course. Well, I’m glad we cleared that one up.

related: The Jake Issues

Emily spotted this please in the bathroom of a women’s college dorm in New York City. (“I think the ‘women’s college’ portion is the imperative detail here,” she adds.)

Meanwhile, I’m still a little suspicious of the fact that this person seems dead-set on getting this razor — a razor that has been presumably been used by someone else —  returned for her own use. I’m assuming it’s one of those replacable-head types, but even so, you still run the risk of come face-to-face with something like this — a Venus razor used by a roommate of Kayla in Tennessee:

It’s hard to think of something less appropriately named after the goddess of love and beauty, no?

related: Enjoy the toothbrush!

Two simple rules for using the garbage chute:

DO put your dog poo down the chute.

DON’T put your dog, Pooh, down the chute.

(Thanks to Jason in Ottawa and Catherine in D.C. for submitting!)

related: Garbage chute entitlement