Entries Tagged as 'energy usage'

Kiss my carbon footprint!

May 25th, 2014 · 47 Comments

Writes our submitter in Cambridge, UK: “There’s a master’s student living in our shared student house — the kind who lives off hemp protein and lentils. Anyway, the house has an hallway running through the middle, with his room on one side and a landing on the other. This note appeared on the landing the other day. I think it has the perfect combination of smiley faces, violent threats, love and climate change.”

YO DIPSHITS! Turn the light off!!!* 1) It shines straight into my room, and wakes me up. 2) It releases CO2. You're killing us all with climate change for no fucking reason!!! Love and Big kisses! xxx ––– :)  *Notes are normally passive aggressive. This one is aggressive-aggressive. Do this again, and I shall cut you :)

related: Pure, unadulterated corporate greed! 

Tags: Cambridge · energy usage · not-so-veiled threats · signed with love · smiley · The Earth · U.K.

Please clear your unused microwave time: now with more questionable statistics!

May 9th, 2011 · 84 Comments

Note: the following message has explicitly NOT been approved by Jack Donaghy. (Do not be fooled by that GE logo at the bottom of the page.)

Remarkably enough, our submitter, Dan in Milwaukee, says the following message was NOT penned by a satirical television writer, but rather by an anonymous member of the office Green Police. (The two pennies — payment for 2011′s extra energy usage — were then added later by an anonymous member of the office Bullshit Police.)

Did you know?  The "Remaining Time" display on a microwave can use up to 30% more energy than the clock does?  The clock only updates once a minute, flashing the time is much more frequent. So be green. Clear your time when you're done cooking. Every little bit helps.

This is, of course, simply a new strategy in the ongoing war being waged in kitchenettes across the world by the United League of Office Workers Who Have Nothing Better to Complain About.

Please clear any unused time off the microwave when you are finished. Some of us have OCD and leftover time drives us crazy. -Thanks!

related: Some of have OCD and unused microwave time drives us crazy

Tags: dubious scientific claims · energy usage · microwave · Milwaukee · office · questionable logic · The Earth · Wisconsin · WTF?

The Stupidbomber Manifesto

March 28th, 2011 · 75 Comments

After Adam’s car got broken into while parked in his own driveway, he decided to install a motion-activated security light. Several months later, he received this note in the mail — stamped and all — from one of his (kinda totally creepy) Connecticut neighbors. Adam, perhaps it’s time to take the home security system up a notch?

Lights on all night is stupid stupid stupid. 100/00 --> stupid stupid s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-stupid.

related: Stupid is as stuiped does

Tags: Connecticut · crazypants · energy usage · kinda creepy · neighbors

He likes it with the lights on.

November 5th, 2010 · 36 Comments

For your typographical titillation: a Friday quickie from Liz in Portland…

When exciting [sic] the bathroom please leave the light on.

related: You turned me on and left me.

Tags: bathroom · double-entendre alert · energy usage · Freudian shit · Portland

Three never-ending office arguments

September 27th, 2010 · 61 Comments

I’d nominate all three of these for inclusion in the encyclopedia entry for “petty office debates.”

Exhibit a) From  San Francisco:

Your mother does not work here. This is disgusting for others who use this restroom. {Response:] YOU SURE NAG LIKE MY MOTHER

Exhibit b) From Jeron in Dallas:

To conserve energy, please turn off the dupe deck when you are done. Tks [RESPONSE:] food for thought: it may in fact consume more energy to continually turn it off + on.

Exhibit c) From Monterey, California:

Covering your food keeps microwave clean. Thnx! [RESPONSE:] Please state the obvious here...

related: Completely valid rebuttals

Tags: California · cleaning · Dallas/Fort Worth · energy usage · microwave · office · oh snap · rebuttals · San Francisco · that's disgusting · thx · Your mother doesn't...

Nobody likes electric hand dryers…even on Earth Day.

April 22nd, 2010 · 159 Comments

When Sarah saw this notice posted in the restroom of a Chicago movie theater, she says, “I was thrilled to find a company willing to admit what I have always secretly felt: that despite their tree-saving abilities, electric hand dryers suck.”

ELECTRIC HAND DRYERS No, we don't like them either, but they are the most energy efficient, and environment friendly choice  Thank You, Cinema Management

Scott was also thrilled to spot this sign in the men’s room of a bar in Council Bluffs, Iowa. “It’s mainly the incredibly bad spelling and punctuation that I love about it,” he says. (The less-than-incredible attempt to drum up excitement for those “fast and new hand blowers”?  Not so much.)

Sorry, but we will not be useing [sic] paper towels From now on. There is Fast + New HAND BLOWER'S [sic] Thank you

related: And a very happy Earth Day to you!

extra credit: Air Hand Dryers May Leave Bacteria on Hands, Says Study [greendaily.com]

Tags: bathroom · energy usage · spelling and grammar police · The Earth · washing your hands

Al Gore knows you’re a little tease

August 9th, 2009 · 106 Comments

Caroline sends this delightful trio of holier-than-thou notes from “a rather famous university in Scotland where many students and staff have delusions of grandeur.”

The first  note was spotted, Caroline says, while exiting a building “where many people work late and lights are almost always burning to help us find our way through the maze of corridors. I found these stuck to just about every light switch in the vicinity. Luckily, I snapped a picture as the next day they were all crumpled into balls and thrown on the floor in what i assume was a protest against sexualising light switches.”

You turned me on and left me.

(“Next time,” she adds, “I will make sure my light switch is fully satisfied before I leave.”)

The second note, Caroline says, “is posted in a building where, due to the age of the pipes, the water is filled with lead and unsafe to drink, meaning water coolers are conveniently posted on most floors. I know we are a biology building and we have to care about the environment and blah blah blah, but while we are doing our world-saving research, would it be ok if we just had a cup of water that isn’t going to kill us?” [Ed. note: Yes, the note-writer has a point.]

Here's a novel idea...

The final note is posted next to the door leading to one of the outside smoking areas. “Unfortunately,” Caroline says, “it tends to have the opposite effect than intended. Every time I see it, I find myself having to sneak one in.”

Don't even THINK about smoking.

Moral of the story this website: even if you’re on the most solid moral/ethical/logical/legal ground, writing an snotty note about it will backfire on you more often than not. [insert maniacal emoticon]

related: Al Gore knows you know drove when you could have taken your new bicycle

Tags: anthropomorphism · CAPS LOCK · college life · double-entendre alert · energy usage · Scotland · The Earth

Do your stairs think you’re fat?

March 28th, 2009 · 100 Comments

Rachel in Victoria, B.C. found this somewhat puzzling bit of anthropomorphism (stairs have feelings? really?) posted in the elevator of her building. “My favourite part is ‘your bum will love it,’” Rachel says. “No better way to guilt trip people into ‘saving energy’ than by insinuating that they’re fat!”

Stairs have feelings too! They love being walked on and require no energy except your own which is LIMITLESS and FREE!  --your bum will love it

related: Hey, fatty

Tags: anthropomorphism · Canada · elevator · energy usage · excessive underlining · guilt trip · hey fatty

An arguably heated dispute

November 11th, 2008 · 363 Comments

Technically, Mike in Boston only has two roommates, but roomie #2′s ever-present girlfriend has become the apartment’s de facto fourth resident…the non-rent-or-utilities-paying kind.

Explains Mike: “We only have one thermostat for the whole apartment, but our rooms are so tiny that we can typically keep the heat off and the place stays at 68-70 degrees.” Once winter came, however, the girlfriend wasn’t too pleased with this arrangement…and took to surreptitiously cranking up the heat into the mid-80s.

After one too many nights of waking up in a sauna, Mike and his allied roommate decided to fight back —in true passive-aggressive style — by removing the (detachable) thermostat from the wall. Drama, of course, ensued.

It's Fucking Freezing. Put the Heat thing back. If you think it's nice cold then open your window. It doesn't get warmer without the Heat.

Mike’s roomie then posted a counter-attack:

If your [sic] cold turn the heat on at YOUR APARTMENT! Otherwise...we took a vote 2 to 1 heat stays off. :)

Grammar aside, that one pretty much did the trick.

related: kill hamster too?

Tags: Boston · energy usage · oh snap · roommates · smiley · temperature · your/you're

The return of Thx Sandra

October 20th, 2008 · 149 Comments

Casey in Human Resources may have moved on, but not to worry — Thx Sandra is here to solve our global climate crysis!

Hello Ladies, This is your friend the thermostat. He likes to be at about 70 degrees in the winter and summer. If you are warm please look behind you and you will see a window. If you open that window fresh air will come in and cool you off. If you are cold you can use a space heater for $3 per week please see Casey in Human Resources if you need to sign up to rent one. Please be aware that our planet is in crysis [sic] and we need to take measures to reduce the trash we throw away and the energy we use (which includes the ceiling fan in Accounting!!!!!) and the recycle bins in the break room. I am sick of being the only conciensios [sic] person here. Thx, Sandra

related: It takes a “genius”

Tags: anthropomorphism · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · energy usage · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · recycling · San Diego · spelling and grammar police · temperature · The Earth · thx