Entries Tagged as 'TL;DR'

An official declaration of the silent treatment

July 1st, 2008 · 354 Comments

Nadia received this letter from her boyfriend’s cousin, Amy, who recently relocated with her boyfriend from Saskatoon to Victoria, B.C…and have been shacking up with Nadia and her boyfriend even since. Over the past month, roomie relations have become a bit strained, to say the least.

“We had to send a stray cat she was harboring to a friend’s house temporarily (my allergies were killing me),” Nadia says, and Amy proceeded to pout for three days straight. A minor-blow out ensued, which was then followed by this untitled composition. Nadia and her boyfriend are scheduled to move out on Wednesday.

This is to notify you that I wish to NOT be on speaking terms with you.

Adds Nadia: “A friend of mine (a B.A. in professional writing and linguistics) and I (a high school science and math teacher with a zoology degree and a B.Ed.) corrected all of the mistakes in the letter.” Then, fighting ire with ire, they posted it on the fridge.

Despite the poor quality of this piece, I submitted it to passiveaggressivenotes.com.

related: Nice move

Tags: "helpful" advice · Canada · family · p.s. · roommates · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR

Wet laundry’s a bitch

May 28th, 2008 · 212 Comments

Spotted by Anna on the wall of an apartment complex in Phoenix…

Enjoy your yeast infection! :)

Meanwhile, in Ottawa…it’s comforting to know that even when Mom isn’t there to do your laundry, she can still help you guilt-trip your neighbors.

To the person who rudely took my laundry out of this dryer and tossed it in a damp pile on the dirty shelf, I'm terrible sorry that your laundry had to wait the 5 mins it was taking me to come downstairs to remove my own laundry from the dryer. I'll tell my mom next time she shouldn't call me during laundry time as someone, such as yourself, may have to wait a few mins longer for the machine. I'm aware of the fact that there are only 2 machines for the entire building but give me a break - how rude can you possiblt be? Perhaps maybe in the future we can work out a time schedule so that my meger [sic] clothing doesn't interfere with your clearly superior laundry. Thanks for that.  P.S. I was planning on allowing my stuff to COMPLETELY dry and put more $ in the machine but your needs come first, I understand.

related: I wiped between my legs with those towels!

Tags: guilt trip · karma's a bitch · laundry · Moms & Dads · Ottawa · p.s. · Phoenix · sarcasm · thanks (but not really) · TL;DR

The minor gall, the major rift

March 11th, 2008 · 113 Comments

To quote Chris Anderson responding to Milton Friedman: “A free lunch doesn’t necessarily mean the food is being given away or that you’ll pay for it later — it could just mean someone else is picking up the tab.”

Indeed, Craig in New York offers this example of the negative externalities that can come along with free stuff. On one hand: free soda. On the other: notes like these. (You can still see the CliffsNotes version peeking out from underneath.)

ATTENTION: If you have found that you are a little thirsty and upon coming here to get refreshment you notice that your favorite FREE SOFT DRINK is not currently stocked in this refrigerator and you are concerned because you think the Refrigerator Stocking Angel might be failing in her duties and you don't know what to do next! Please! Don't panic! Quietly turn towards the right (assuming you are still facing the empty refrigerator). Notice the doors on your right. Look carefully behind one of these doors, and you might find several cases of assorted warm soft drinks. if you grab a SIX PACK of your favorite, carry it gently to the refrigerator, place that SIX-PACK on a shelf and then close the refrigerator door, you might discover that when you come back later for a soft drink (remember that it take a little time for them to chill), there are cold drinks for everyone. Hallelujah! P.S. You may need to do this daily but it really won't hurt you and the Refrigerator Stocking Angel will be really appreciate of your new display of self sufficiency!

related: everyone deserves a cold drink

Tags: a little patronizing · beverages · excessive underlining · gloriously redundant · high on highlighter · New York · p.s. · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR

So obsessed that I’m becoming a bore

February 12th, 2008 · 75 Comments

Writes Simon in Richmond, Virginia: “I was combing through my Facebook newsfeed and came across this note posted by someone on my friend list. I have no idea who the note is referring to, but I think it’s kind of interesting that he’s putting out his dirty laundry for all to see.”

i'm sorry for your loss

related: Meet my new therapist: the cable guy

Tags: Facebook · i before e · Richmond · TL;DR

Your to lazy

October 15th, 2007 · 178 Comments

Those troublemakers requesting more crazy apartment notes can thank our anonymous submitter (a GM at a property management firm in Springfield, Missouri) for today’s masterpiece. “One of our resident managers delivered this letter to 115 units at her property, then e-mailed me a copy because she was REALLY proud of it,” our submitter writes. “I got halfway through and realized I had to send it to you.”

IT'S FALL! HERE ARE A FEW UPDATES AND SEVERAL COMPLAINTS!

this no the ghetto

more surprises

Now, for the complaints…

Tags: cleaning · dogs · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · irregular capitalization · itemized list · landlords and property managers · Missouri · more like crazy · music · noise · not-so-veiled threats · parking · rhetorical question · smoking · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR · vandalism · your/you're

This aggression will not stand, man

September 22nd, 2007 · 163 Comments

As a little weekend bonus, I bring you this screed from the Smith Daily Jolt’s alumnae forum. Yes, it’s long.

dailyjolt1.jpg [Read more →]

Tags: bathroom · college life · e-mail · garbage · just an asshole · martyr complex · money · not wrong · posted online · rebuttals · roommates · sig o · smoking · that's a fire hazard · TL;DR

May the sanctity of the sink prevail!!

June 14th, 2007 · 93 Comments

My esteemed housemates, I have some unfortunate news to report. It appears that our ongoing experiment to see if the dishes would indeed wash themselves has ended and ultimately failed.

(From Midgy in Madison, Wisconsin.)

related: With 17 roommates, it could have been worse

Tags: CAPS LOCK · dishes · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · rhetorical question · roommates · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR · Wisconsin

This room is protected by the Constitution

June 7th, 2007 · 75 Comments

This isn’t just a note — it’s a work of art. And it’s about 100 shades of amazing.

I’ll let Rich explain: “I had a party at my house once in college, and one of our roommates who was going to be gone was really scared that someone was going to sleep in his bed. so, instead of, you know, telling us not to use his room, he decided to post this hilarious note that only an aspiring personal injury lawyer could produce.”

This room is protected by the Constitution

I don't care if you just want a place to sleep STAY OUT. This is room is protected as later defined from trespassing. There is privileged information contain within.

Being in this room may be a violation of some or all of the following

Penalties Defined - per Iowa code + Federal law

related: CARE — it makes a difference

Tags: "helpful" advice · college life · excessive underlining · Iowa · more like crazy · not-so-veiled threats · questionable logic · roommates · TL;DR · touching