Writes our disgusted submitter: “All that time on the toilet to think, and this is what you came up with?”
______________

related: Does your roommate have note-writing diarrhea?

Sorry, I meant back door. I’m gonna slowly back away now, ma’am…

related: Dear lovely ladies

Nope, the note below isn’t from a old folks home: it’s actually from a music camp for the young’uns.

So, is the writer taking liberties using the royal we? Or is the entire woodwind section really so backed up that prune juice has become a hot commodity? These are questions I’d rather not think about.

On that note, when you complain about your missing Activia — the yogurt Jamie Lee Curtis euphemistically claims will “regulate your digestive system” — referring to said yogurt as “ma shit” may not be the best choice of words to get your point across.

related: Live and not-so-active roommate culture

extra credit: Activia Won’t Cure your Constipation, says FTC [cbsnews.com]

(Thanks to Isaac in Missouri and Kim in Chicago for their submissions!)

Our submitter, Rob in Cleveland, says he found this note on his computer screen upon returning to his desk after lunch one day. “I honestly don’t bring my toenail clippers to work,” Rob says. “They were just hurting inside my pocket so I put them on my desk and forgot about them, and this is what I get.”

At first glance, I thought the note must have been sarcastic — surely, no one would actually borrow another’s toenail clippers, right? — so I asked Rob for some clarification.

As it turns out, Rob is pretty sure the note was no joke. “The guy who wrote it is one of the grossest people at work,” he explains. And as for why he had toenail clippers in his pocket to begin with? Says Rob: “I cut my nails in my car on the way to work.”

Of course. Well, I’m glad we cleared that one up.

related: The Jake Issues

Emily spotted this please in the bathroom of a women’s college dorm in New York City. (“I think the ‘women’s college’ portion is the imperative detail here,” she adds.)

Meanwhile, I’m still a little suspicious of the fact that this person seems dead-set on getting this razor — a razor that has been presumably been used by someone else —  returned for her own use. I’m assuming it’s one of those replacable-head types, but even so, you still run the risk of come face-to-face with something like this — a Venus razor used by a roommate of Kayla in Tennessee:

It’s hard to think of something less appropriately named after the goddess of love and beauty, no?

related: Enjoy the toothbrush!

Alexandra and her best friend David were thrift-store shopping in Memphis, Tennessee when they spotted this sign (in the restroom, this time…not the fitting room).

What I love about this one is that, unlike most of its kind, this notice doesn’t issue any kind of directive (e.g. “Hey nitwits, don’t flush the merchandise!!!”), nor does it directly address the salient issue at hand (Does the toilet actually work now, or not?). Because, really, a simple “Out of Order” sign would have sufficed, if the latter were the case. Instead, it’s just like, “This one time, at band camp…”

In place of “Thank You,” I think it should say “The End.” Or maybe: “Who the hell wipes with a child’s T-shirt?!”

related: What is it about thrift store dressing rooms?