Entries Tagged as 'touching'

The Mom with the Reindeer Tattoo

December 24th, 2013 · 58 Comments

Writing Persephone in New Hampshire: “My father and I have a habit of snatching the Christmas cookies. I guess this year my mom had had enough.”

DO NOT TOUCH or Santa Claus will have 6 elves with halitosis read Norwegian crime novels to you as you are tied to a dyspeptic reindeer...I wouldn't chance it if I were you!

P.S. Yes, Stieg Larsson is Swedish…but titling this post “Blood on Snow” just seemed a little too dark.

related: Mad Santa

Tags: Christmas · Moms & Dads · touching

A thoughtcrime in the making

September 2nd, 2013 · 25 Comments

Joe spotted this note posted on a thermostat inside an abandoned factory-turned-shopping center in Keene, New Hampshire.

Writes Joe, “I have to confess that I looked at it, got near it, and for the love of monkeys, I can’t stop thinking about it. I didn’t touch it though.” (No matter, Joe: Big Brother knows the truth.)

Leave this alone. Don't touch it. Don't Look at it. Don't get near it. Stop thinking about it.   -Thanks

related: NO TOUCHING!

Tags: big brother-ish · New Hampshire · temperature · touching

Beware the Ides of M.Arch

February 25th, 2013 · 60 Comments

“Architecture students are known for their creative, um, madness,” writes our submitter. “Combine that with severe sleep deprivation, and voilà!” Among the architecture master’s students who share this studio, our submitter says, this masterpiece of a note has already become legend.

Don't ever think about touching this model. Are you happy if I touch your model that you spend so much time and money? Just look at this model if you want; however, don't judge anything if you're not the professor. Don't speak out about this model or shake your head like something is wrong about this model (in front of me) if you aren't 100% sure about right and correct. This model's just different unlike yours, that's all. Mind your own business. Keep your noose out of my business Don't worry about it. It's none of your business. A third party should not thrust his nose into these matters. If i find out that you touch this model, I will definitely touch yours. Don't incite me to fight with you. Don't goad me on to destroy you.

related: Untitled — Broken Glass

extra credit: Architorture School

Tags: college life · most popular notes of 2013 · touching

FU Load Letter

September 26th, 2012 · 37 Comments

Writes our submitter in Houston: “The secretary on our floor is never at her desk — so much, in fact, that she’s been reported numerous times. We recently got a new office copier and somehow she decided that she has ownership of it. Based on the note below, it looks like someone needed help and was a little frustrated that, once again, she couldn’t be located.” Aaaand troll mode activated!

PLEASE SEE ME IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS IN REGARD TO THIS MACHINE OR HOW TO OPERATE OR CLEAR A JAM. DO NOT START PUSHING BUTTONS OR OPENING THINGS IF YOU ARE UNSURE OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING. SEE ME FOR ASSISTANCE. THANK YOU.   Went to your desk. You weren't there. Pushed LOTS of buttons. :)

Adds our submitter: “The secretary EXPLODED when she saw that someone had the nerve to touch her machine.”

Went to your desk. You weren't there. Pushed LOTS of buttons. :)

related: My Secretary, Sybil

Tags: Houston · office · oh no you didn't · overzealous secretary · smartass · smiley · touching

Sunday night laundry room showdown

December 12th, 2011 · 114 Comments

Emily in Michigan happens to go to the university with the largest residence hall system in the U.S., and the Sunday-night scene in the dorm laundry room can be, well, a bit of a shit show.

This is the scene Emily came across one such Sunday:

Sunday night laundry room showdown

And underneath…

Whoever took my clothes out of this dryer: It takes me HOURS to do laundry. I sanitize every washing machine + dryer with Lysol before I use it, + take great pains to not let my clothes touch anything in this room

ESPECIALLY the floor or table. By dumping my clean laundry on the table, you have completely disrespected my property + privacy (seriously, don't touch someone's underwear?!?) Please don't touch other people's shit again.

(Adds Emily: “The laundry room is very clean, but I guess some people need a little extra.”)

The saga continues when an innocent bystander jumps in to make nice…

While I understand and respect where you're coming from, I do not understand why you would let your clothes sit in the dryer for 15+ minutes when the laundry room is clearly backed up. In other words, be respectful and promptly take care of your shit. :)

Meanwhile, the instigator of all this is not the smiley face type.

To the person who left their clothes in the dryer forever

(just click the image above to enlarge it)

related: To whoever violated my laundry…

Tags: college life · guilt trip · laundry · Michigan · non-apology apology · note wars · rebuttals · smiley · that's disrespectful · touching

But do people recognize ‘fine art’ when they see it?

October 18th, 2011 · 72 Comments

At the local art exhibit of the Utah State Fair: a smug reminder of what we already know, thankyouverymuch. As our submitter wrote, “We’re not animals, after all!”

But do people recognize

related: Signed, R. Mutt

Tags: art · Salt Lake City · touching

And don’t you DARE clean out the freezer — I have important bills in there!

May 1st, 2011 · 91 Comments

“My roommate is a total slob,” says Elinor in Toronto, so after two weeks away from the apartment, she wasn’t too surprised to see the kitchen piled high with several delightfully fragrant, filled-to-the-brim garbage bags. When she went to throw them out, Elinor discovered one of the bags was actually filled with clothes, so she put that one in her roommate’s room.

The next morning, Elinor found both of these notes slid under her bedroom door.

[note 1:] Dear Elinor, You threw out an important bag of clothes that was in the kitchen. If you don't know what it is, don't touch it. -for FUCK SAKES! [note 2:] Never mind -found it ...sorry

related: Stop! Don’t chute!

Tags: garbage · Oops? · roommates · Toronto · touching

Your knees are pressing into my repressed rage

December 14th, 2010 · 65 Comments

So, one morning, Emily was riding the train from the ’burbs into downtown Chicago, minding her own business like all the other commuters. All of sudden, she says, “about 10 minutes before we reached Union Station, the woman sitting directly in front of me turned and handed me this note without saying a word.”

Hello, awkward!

Hello, Good Morning! Your knees are in my back. :)

related: You seem nice, but please don’t sit near me ever again.

Tags: painfully polite · public transit · smiley · touching

Don’t touch my…stuff, you little piece of…stuff.

September 6th, 2010 · 49 Comments

Chad and Cassie might want to be careful what they wish for…lest someone be tempted to “return” something they didn’t actually borrow first.

Chad's Stuff DO NOT TOUCH! BRING YOUR OWN SHIT!

If you go as far as even touching my shit, I'll fucking kill you. [heart], Cassie  PS - Thanks in advance for returning the shit you took, you ball of shit

(Thanks to Travis in Austin and anonymous in Boise for submitting.)

related: Does your roommate have note-writing diarrhea?

Tags: Austin · heart · Idaho · p.s. · shit · touching

If you thought your microwave was dirty…

August 25th, 2010 · 51 Comments

…then you obviously haven’t been introduced to the Houston, Texas model apparently gunning for the title of “the Dane Cook of household appliances.”

(For that, you can be thankful.)

STOP! Don't touch me there: these are my no-no squares. Don't put anything on top of me, only inside (foreplay isn't needed). Please keep me clean...Only your mom likes it dirty. Hugs & Kisses, Your Friendly Neighborhood Microwave

related: Microwave on the run!

Tags: anthropomorphism · cleaning · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Houston · microwave · most popular notes of 2010 · thanks (but not really) · touching