PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » U.K.

The Vicar of Glibly

Kerry — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 05:05:01 +0000

Spotted by George outside his local church in East London:

related: He died for your clip art

This vending machine ruined my life!

Kerry — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 23:35:39 +0000

Ah, first world problems.

(Spotted by Kim in Manchester, U.K.)

related: My query on the egg salad ban

XXX, Mum

Kerry — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 23:44:31 +0000

James in the U.K. recently came home from football practice to discover that, in his absence, his mother had gotten a peek at his Internet browser history (“full of…well, I’m 15, I’m sure you can guess.”) As cool as his mum was about the whole thing, says James, “I still don’t know if I’ll be able to look her in the face for a while.”

“Happy viewing”? Nicely played, Mum.

The unfinished story of the unhappy door

Kerry — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 00:12:54 +0000

The missing last line of this story: “Unfortunately, it just made people slam the door more loudly out of spite.”

(Upon publication, this story was roundly slammed by reviewers.)

Happy National Sandwich Day!

Kerry — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 00:10:36 +0000

Would you care to furnish the last line of this haiku?

related: Sandwich guilt

Mellon Collie and the Seasonal Sadness

Kerry — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 00:36:18 +0000

Halloween: smashing children’s dreams, one pumpkin at a time. (Sigh)

(Spotted by Toby in the U.K.)

Where cursing thieves with crippling violence has a 2000-year-old precedent

Kerry — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 20:19:57 +0000

Spotted by Vicky at an antiques shop in Bath, England: a modern twist on the ancient local tradition of curse tablets. (To quote Wikipedia: “About 130 curse tablets have been found at Aquae Sulis, now Bath in England, where many of the curses related to thefts of clothes whilst the victim was bathing.”)

related: Law & Order: Social Media Unit

extra credit: Curse tablets of Roman Britain

Nobody does a “polite notice” quite like the Brits

Kerry — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 02:38:17 +0000

“One of our local parks has a busy tea shop that’s popular with walkers, cyclists, families and people exercising their dogs,” says Clive in Brighton. “I don’t blame them for getting fed up with demanding dog owners, and I suppose a note is one way to communicate, but in rhyme? And, worse, rhyme this bad?”

Hampstead Row Houses (and Rows over Houses)

Kerry — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 23:09:35 +0000

David spotted this oh-so-charming scene while cycling through the well-to-do area of Hampstead, London.

Adds David: “The completely knackered fence is in front of an overgrown plot and right next door to a well looked-after house (possibly owned by old folk who are convinced the neighbourhood has gone to ruin.”)

Meanwhile, Alison was a bit perplexed by this note (and the seemingly undisturbed hedge below) in West Hampstead. “I stared at the hedge for ages trying to work out what was wrong with it,” she says. “Finally I just took a picture and ran away.”

extra credit: An American’s Guide to Britishisms [effingpot.com]

Not one for small talk, eh?

Kerry — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 18:00:17 +0000

Spotted by Helen in the window of a shop in Haworth, West Yorkshire.

(It was closed.)

Closed due to impending anarchy

Kerry — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 01:34:37 +0000

No, the London riots aren’t really “funny,” but Rachael wasn’t the only one who found the note of gallows humor in this notice — from a U.K. Subway sandwich shop — to be worth a second glance.

Coincidentally, on the very same day, Rebecca in Cincinnati snapped a photo of this sign — which seemed to me like something straight out of The Handmaid’s Tale. Despite the dramatic wording, Rebecca says the chaos at hand here was actually a missing replica T-Rex tooth from a display at The Creation Museum (where she was guilt-tripped into going by her less irreverent extended family).

Cinderella be drizzunk

Kerry — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 02:37:42 +0000

“I saw this when passing by a neighbour’s house, and thought that this was one of their better efforts,” writes Kelly in the U.K. “I personally would have just chucked them myself.”

(Adds Kelly: “I’m guessing they belonged to the same person who decorated half the street with vomit.”)

Meanwhile, the Internet’s all “been there/done that/seen the animated GIF.”

It’s not just God who’s watching you…

Kerry — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 03:17:41 +0000

While admiring a “very nice” church in Edinburgh, James was only slightly discomfited by this notice about the measures being taken to ensure his comfort.

related: He died for your clip art

A spoonful of sugar might help this lesson in Newtonian physics go down

Kerry — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 02:57:00 +0000

This physics lesson was posted in the communal kitchen of Oxford University’s department of psychiatry.

“You would think that these people would be masters of communication,” our submitter says. “Evidently, not so much.”

In Australia, meanwhile, it seems they prefer not to beat around the bush* — at least when it comes to wet spoons.

*bad pun intended