PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » excessive underlining

Toto, I have a feeling we’re not at band camp anymore

Kerry — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 02:13:02 +0000

Michael is a music teacher in New York, and one of his students, Aleks, a clarinet player with 15 years experience, recently moved to the city to start his master’s degree. “Coming from Ohio, he had no idea what he was getting into when practicing clarinet in his apartment in Queens,” says Michael. “Now he knows.”

related: Buskers & broomsticks

The neighborhood warning wagon

Kerry — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 22:33:07 +0000

Upon moving into their new college house this fall, Danny and his roommates at Boston College received this delightfully punctuated welcome letter from their next door neighbor — delivered via U.S. Postal Service, no less.

I, for one, can’t wait ’til the Ben Affleck adaptation comes out. We’ll have a “late night beer party” to celebrate!

related: Passive voice abuse

Don’t you want to LIVE?

Kerry — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 02:04:44 +0000

These two notes — both from Oregon — give me the urge to grab a gigantic fistful of napkins…and then noisily blow my nose with them. I mean, really. Wouldn’t a simple “Al Gore Knows” have sufficed?

(Thanks to Anonymous in Wilsonville and Brad in Albany for submitting!)

Welcome to the neighborhood. You’re totally screwing it up.

Kerry — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 02:25:32 +0000

Shortly after moving to Columbus, Ohio, Julie received a welcome-wagon visit from her new neighbors…in the form of a post-it note stuck to the side of her motorcycle. Her bike, which was parked on the public city street across from her house, had apparently disrupted the neighborhood’s unofficial parking “regimin.”

“I complied with the rules of their little microcosm,” Julie says, “but I also turned the note into an overhead, which was a real gold mine for the rhetoric class I was teaching at Ohio State.”

Adds Julie: “Incidentally, when parked perpendicularly, a motorcycle uses roughly 2.5 feet of street.”

Thinking outside the box

Kerry — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 03:20:37 +0000

“I have lived in my crappy building for over two years,” says our submitter from New York’s East Village. “It provides great entertainment, as we get a new set of notes built up on the wall every few months about issues such as people stealing Internet or the building smelling like cat pee. Then someone tears them down and we start over. (Though the building does usually smell of cat pee.)”

In the latest installment of note wars, the opening strike was launched by (she thinks) the building super.

Then some other anonymous apartment dweller threw in his or hew own (slightly flashier) take on the matter.

And lastly…

UPDATE: The box weighs in.

And as for that whole “New Yorkers are jerks” stereotype? This cardboard breakdown — spotted by Dianna in Santa Barbara, California — shows that when it comes to condescending rants, East Coasters don’t have a monopoly on rudeness.

Way to use those SAT vocab words!!!

Kerry — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 03:29:33 +0000

An eagle-eyed substitute teacher spotted the work of this precocious young propagandist-to-be at a Pennsylvania high school. (Psst! Philip Morris? R.J. Reynolds? Are you paying attention?)

related: 2good 2b 4gotten

Those that have the most to gain

Kerry — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 05:03:57 +0000

Shawna in Toronto spotted this note during a visit to her grandparents’ condo in Miami. The only remaining evidence of “despicable vandalism,” she says, was a bit of scratched paint. Making “those that have the most to gain”…the painting contractors?

Totally fried green tomatoes

Kerry — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 03:32:09 +0000

Shannon in New York saw this note posted on the fence of the nearby community garden while she and her roommate were taking her dog for a walk for. The thought of a little old lady glued to her binoculars at 4 in the morning, this had them laughing for many prepositional phrases of time.

related: the right to bear fruit

A day in the life of a crank

Kerry — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 18:09:07 +0000

What to do after you’ve already written your daily letters to the editor, congressman and the local weatherman and you’ve still got hours to go before the early bird buffet? Well, you turn to the classifieds!

Do your stairs think you’re fat?

Kerry — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 06:36:16 +0000

Rachel in Victoria, B.C. found this somewhat puzzling bit of anthropomorphism (stairs have feelings? really?) posted in the elevator of her building. “My favourite part is ‘your bum will love it,’” Rachel says. “No better way to guilt trip people into ‘saving energy’ than by insinuating that they’re fat!”

related: Hey, fatty

Oh, sure, blame it on the housekeeper

Kerry — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 17:05:05 +0000

Says Corrine in Los Angeles: “I walked into my friends’ building and saw these posted ALL OVER.” (Trifling much?)

related: come get some

Just wait ’til he finds out the truth about the whole “fat guy down the chimney” thing

Kerry — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 20:55:20 +0000

Sarah was taking a little stroll in Berkeley, California last December when she saw a house that clearly belonged to the “more is more” school of holiday decorating.

You know the type: “Giant candy canes, red bows, lights, even one of those life-sized plastic snow globes that blows confetti snow all around inside — all in a yard about the width of the sidewalk I was walking on,” Sarah says. “This note was tacked onto the fence, above an empty space in the row of candy canes.”

Adds Sarah: “Poor little boy. Now he’s not going to know it’s Christmas.”

related: a holiday wish

Desperate times

Kerry — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 20:48:46 +0000

Need another sign we’re officially in a recession? How ’bout three?

related: “no” questions asked

As Davy Crockett once said…

Kerry — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 01:00:08 +0000

I recently returned from a few days in San Antonio, Texas, where my friend Matt and I amused ourselves on the Riverwalk with a competition to find the tackiest souvenir possible in each store within three minutes or less. (My first win: a “pooping armadillo” keychain.) When we entered this fine establishment, however, I had to call a time-out.

I didn’t even get a chance to take photos of all the signs at this one store — including some amazing ones taped to the register — before I started getting the stink-eye from the manager. (I generally try to stay out of trouble in states that allow their teachers to come to class armed.) I’m telling you, Alamo, Schmalamo: this store was the highlight of my trip.