Entries Tagged as 'excessive underlining'

Way to use those SAT vocab words!!!

February 1st, 2010 · 105 Comments

An eagle-eyed substitute teacher spotted the work of this precocious young propagandist-to-be at a Pennsylvania high school. (Psst! Philip Morris? R.J. Reynolds? Are you paying attention?)

Yearbook!!!!! Is on sale now!!! (This week!) Yearbooks are $47 and in all color!!! Buy them in lunch or A108!!! Buy one or your high school career will be a maelstrom of unfulfilling normalcy!!!

related: 2good 2b 4gotten

Tags: excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · not-so-veiled threats · now that's not true · schools & teachers

Do these stilettos match my broomstick?

December 9th, 2009 · 262 Comments

Sarah in London found this note — and the cheeky response — posted in the lobby of her former apartment building.

“Entry to the flats is by way of a concrete outside walkway,” she explains. “Unfortunately, if someone has noisy heels, the sound tends to reverberate throughout the building.”

When you come home in the early hours of the morning (2:45 am) can you please NOT make so much noise going down the main balcony with your stilettos and then slamming your street door. The problem with living in a block of flats is that you have neighbours that should be considered.  [response] Dear Complainer, We sincerely apologise for not being able to hover across the balcony in our very noisy stilettos. We will in future attempt to be home at 2:44 and if late fly across the main landing or teleport into our flat. Lovingly, Bramber residents

Of course, the above complainer isn’t the only person who has a problem with stilettos…a.k.a. “fucking shoes”?

STOP PLEASE NO Fucking Shoes or Heels In My House! Or Leave! I don't care who you are!! Have some respect for My House Damnit! What!!! Say Some thing!! Thank you!!! :)

related: The two-word compromise you’re looking for: zip wire

Tags: door-slamming · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · London · neighbors · noise · rainbow-colored · shoes · signed with love · smartass · that's disrespectful

Those that have the most to gain

November 19th, 2009 · 159 Comments

Shawna in Toronto spotted this note during a visit to her grandparents’ condo in Miami. The only remaining evidence of “despicable vandalism,” she says, was a bit of scratched paint. Making “those that have the most to gain”…the painting contractors?

passiveaggressivenotes.com: Enemies of the Building

related: be informed, homeland security will be

Tags: elevator · excessive underlining · Miami · vandalism

Totally fried green tomatoes

September 9th, 2009 · 94 Comments

Shannon in New York saw this note posted on the fence of the nearby community garden while she and her roommate were taking her dog for a walk for. The thought of a little old lady glued to her binoculars at 4 in the morning, this had them laughing for many prepositional phrases of time.

if you have a key, the return for that key will be ask for

related: the right to bear fruit

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Clearly a non-native English speaker · excessive underlining · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · New York · spelling and grammar police · stealing · WTF?

Don’t blame us

July 28th, 2009 · 158 Comments

Exhibit a) Spotted at a laundromat in Silver Lake by Jessica in Los Angeles…

Don't BLAME Us If there aren't any paper towels!!! We do our best to have a clean well run Laundromat for you to do your laundry. But, someone is: STEALING PAPER TOWELS. Taking a bunch of towels off the dispenser and taking them home. Can you believe it???? So, if there aren't towels when you need one, now you know why. Thank you.

Exhibit b) From Ronnie’s Diner, also in LA.., by Valerie:

No dogs on the patio. Thanks to the crazy lady that called the health department. Mean people suck.

Exhibit c) From Barnacle Bill’s in Sarasota, Florida:

We regret not being able to provide these products: MILLER LITE, HEINEKEN, AMSTEL LITE, COORS LITE, FOSTERS, SAM ADAMS due to extremely poor customer service by J.J. Taylor.

Exhibit d) From, as Miranda explains, ” the local ‘community thrift store’ in Dahlonega, Georgia, where everything is donated, and all the people who work there…are volunteers. Raising the prices to compensate for the volunteers’ efforts? Makes TONS of sense to me!”
Due to shoppers not willing to put things they look at back as they found them the price is being increased due to the time spent by volunteers trying to organize room

But (because the decision had to be made) I would say that this  final note — spotted by Rusty at a B&B in Newfoundland — is my absolute favorite.

LAUNDRY IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE. SORRY Due to Circumstances, the Decision HAD TO BE MADE.

related: When you can’t blame the dog

Tags: "customer service" · CAPS LOCK · confusion??? · excessive underlining · high on highlighter · laundry · passive voice · public shaming

A day in the life of a crank

April 15th, 2009 · 172 Comments

What to do after you’ve already written your daily letters to the editor, congressman and the local weatherman and you’ve still got hours to go before the early bird buffet? Well, you turn to the classifieds!

Dear gar. sale persons: if you just put out signs, you would have no "early birds." Why advert. in Chronicle then say no early? Don't advert. there. Just put out signs. They'll come - but later. Wear earplugs.

related: Cloudy with a chance of hate mail

Tags: awk abbrev · comma diarrhea · excessive underlining · garage sale · Houston · old folks · unsolicited feedback · You call that punctuation?

Do your stairs think you’re fat?

March 28th, 2009 · 100 Comments

Rachel in Victoria, B.C. found this somewhat puzzling bit of anthropomorphism (stairs have feelings? really?) posted in the elevator of her building. “My favourite part is ‘your bum will love it,’” Rachel says. “No better way to guilt trip people into ‘saving energy’ than by insinuating that they’re fat!”

Stairs have feelings too! They love being walked on and require no energy except your own which is LIMITLESS and FREE!  --your bum will love it

related: Hey, fatty

Tags: anthropomorphism · Canada · elevator · energy usage · excessive underlining · guilt trip · hey fatty

Oh, sure, blame it on the housekeeper

February 20th, 2009 · 73 Comments

Says Corrine in Los Angeles: “I walked into my friends’ building and saw these posted ALL OVER.” (Trifling much?)

Did someone's housekeeper take my 2 DOZEN white bath towels from the top dryer by mistake? PLEASE return to Paula #101!

related: come get some

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · excessive underlining · laundry · Los Angeles · stealing

Just wait ’til he finds out the truth about the whole “fat guy down the chimney” thing

December 22nd, 2008 · 86 Comments

Sarah was taking a little stroll in Berkeley, California last December when she saw a house that clearly belonged to the “more is more” school of holiday decorating.

You know the type: “Giant candy canes, red bows, lights, even one of those life-sized plastic snow globes that blows confetti snow all around inside — all in a yard about the width of the sidewalk I was walking on,” Sarah says. “This note was tacked onto the fence, above an empty space in the row of candy canes.”

Who stole and vandalized a candy cane? Shame on you! My son will not understand your behavior. He will be confused and sad. Please control yourself and don't vandalize the Xmas decorations.

Adds Sarah: “Poor little boy. Now he’s not going to know it’s Christmas.”

related: a holiday wish

Tags: Berkeley · Christmas · excessive underlining · guilt trip · holiday spirit · Moms & Dads · stealing · vandalism · Won't somebody think of the children?

Desperate times

October 13th, 2008 · 79 Comments

Need another sign we’re officially in a recession? How ’bout three?

Please return My (not your) BIKE PUMP

Did you forget to return my BIKE PUMP?

I MISS MY BIKE PUMP

related: “No” questions asked

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · bicycle · California · excessive underlining · neighbors · San Francisco · smiley · thx