Entries Tagged as 'excessive underlining'

Return to sender, address unknown

September 5th, 2007 · 206 Comments

Our anonymous submitter has held on to this e-mail for more than five years now, but she still has no idea what she did to offend the sender. She barely knew him at the time, she says, “and needless to say, I don’t know him any better now, except I have a better handle on his mental state.”

Apparently you never received my e-mail. I found it in my mail box, promptly returned to me by the MAILER DEAMON.

Tags: CAPS LOCK · e-mail · excessive underlining · not-so-veiled threats · questionable logic · spelling and grammar police

Post-punctuationism

August 21st, 2007 · 81 Comments

Explains Sarah in New York City: “One lab in the building where I work has covered the walls outside their lab with candid photos of the lab members. Over time, some of these photos got some ‘modifications’ from passers-by, such as a mustache or horns here or there.  (Mature, I know.) Today, I noticed the photos were gone.” In their place…

To the budding Van Gogh of the floor. If I catch you doodling on OUR pictures it will NOT be your ear, I will cut. Come and see me! Love Jessie x7663

UPDATE: Sarah provides a look at the note in context. (Unfortunately, without the original “artwork.”)

To the budding Van Gogh of the floor. If I catch you doodling on OUR pictures it will NOT be your ear, I will cut. Come and see me! Love Jessie x7663

Tags: excessive underlining · graffiti · more aggressive than passive · New York · nonsensical spacing · not-so-veiled threats · office · signed with love · You call that punctuation?

Don’t hate the playa

August 12th, 2007 · 115 Comments

Our anonymous submitter lives in a 30-story condo building in Chicago. Her father works in the same building, and received this note in the suggestion box.

“I found the letter slipped under my door one day,” she says. “My dad had put it there after reading it with his boss. I’m sure he’s damn proud of his little girl!”

In her defense, our submitter believes the notes allegations to be more than a bit exaggerated. “I have never (that I can remember) regurgitated in the garage,” she says, adding, in the immortal words of Salt n Pepa: “If I wanna take a guy home with me tonight/IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!”

This is to inform you that the tenant who lives on floor [redacted] appears to be having drug and alcohol problems.

Tags: Chicago · danger · drizzunk · drugs · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Moms & Dads · neighbors · noise · nonsensical spacing · not-so-veiled threats · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police

Containing as much or as many as is possible or normal

August 8th, 2007 · 50 Comments

In all fairness, says Brandi in Austin, “This note was written after our dishes became so caked with fungus that we had to buy new stuff. The smell was also REALLY bad.”

NOTICE!!! *Please Commence Immediately* To anyone who Lives, Naps, Shits, Farts, Eats, Sleeps, Fucks, Rests, OR DOES ANYTHING in this house: This is including but not limited to: Brandi, Summer, Keiran, Jason, Peter, Jonathan, Mary, ANYONE!! (Guests are not excluded) PLEASE DO NOT leave dirty dishes, old beer bottles, half eaten shit, or any trash strewn about the apt. If the trash can is full, PLEASE empty it and replace the bag. (If there any other questions about the definition of full, see m-w.com) Try to clean off any plates and dirty cups for placement in the dishwasher. The WHOLE COLLECTIVE would appreciate it greatly. Thank you, owners/operators

related: May the sanctity of the sink prevail!

Tags: Austin · dishes · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · internet citation · lOWERCASE l · obnoxious definition · roommates · shit · Texas

Like a rotten sponge

August 5th, 2007 · 22 Comments

By popular demand, Ellen in Acton, Mass. has sent in a photo of the note that appeared next to the one about spitting in the water fountain on her gym’s suggestion board…

Please stop using the towels to clean stations. I got on a treadmill and the towel smelled like a rotten sponge. Having them used again and again all day must be unhealthy. How about disinfectant wipes or just paper towels. THANK YOU!

The original “no spitting” note has since been taken down, Ellen says. “In its place was one saying that people should stop focusing on the negative since the gym and the staff were really quite good.”

Since then, she adds, “O have not noticed any lugies in the drinking fountain. Progress?”

Tags: excessive underlining · gym · Massachusetts · odor

This is why your server is cranky

July 29th, 2007 · 724 Comments

Exhibit a) submitted by an anonymous bystander at a lunch counter in Oregon Caves National Park:

WE WAITED 30 MIN NO SERVICE

Exhibit b) submitted by Patrick in Kansas City, Missouri, who explains: “My friends Chris and Katie had a rude waitress a few weeks ago. In order to tell the waitress that there was indeed a reason she wasn’t getting a tip, Chris left this little note where the tip would ordinarily go.”

BOO YOU FAIL

Though I can certainly empathize, as a former food service industry worker I just can’t condone not leaving a tip. (I’m guessing there are a lot of you, however, who’d disagree.)

related: passive-aggressive linkage

Tags: actions speak louder · excessive underlining · Kansas City · Missouri · most popular notes of 2007 · Oregon · restaurant · tipping

I can’t stand this shit anymore.

July 25th, 2007 · 50 Comments

Semarr prefaces this submission by saying: “I realize it’s not particularly *passive* aggressive, but in context it became so.” She explains:

There were eight people living in the house. One of them collected shelter cats and kept them in the basement. I found this note when I had come home from work very late at night. By morning, the board was blank and Jon L-W denied it ever existed, and all roommates at the next ‘house meeting’ refused to admit there were any aggressive undertones in house. Jon said he loved the cats. Other earlier voiced-behind-backs complaints were whole-heartedly denied.

My Disclaimer: This house smells like shit. I ate my dinner in shit tonight. The cats must GO or be in the basement permanently or, sad to say, I have to go, because I can't stand this shit anymore. Seriously, Jon L-W P.S. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

Adds Semarr: “I moved out a month later.”

related: My cat-shit crazy neighbor

Tags: cats · excessive underlining · more aggressive than passive · New Jersey · not-so-veiled threats · odor · roommates · shit · that's disgusting · whiteboard

10 people, one kitchen

July 13th, 2007 · 66 Comments

alanna lives in a house in ottawa with nine other girls, where “dishes are always being left in the sink dirty and growing stuff, or clean on the counter taking up space.” a note war has commenced on the window above the fridge.

there are 10 people sharing this kitchen

by popular demand, alanna has helpfully posted another picture showing the underlying notes!

10 people, one kitchen

Tags: Canada · dishes · excessive underlining · kitchen · note wars · Ottawa · roommates

No money, no trophy

July 12th, 2007 · 69 Comments

This exercise in mass shaming is brought to us by Rocky in San Diego, who notes: “These are 5-year-olds playing T-ball.”

The players listed below still owe

related: A new tactic for Pre-K school fundraising…public shaming?

Tags: bold underlined italics · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · message to all intended for one · Moms & Dads · money · public shaming · San Diego · unnecessary "quotation marks"

What Michael Moore didn’t show you in Sicko

July 11th, 2007 · 30 Comments

Annette in the U.K. calls this one “How to make toast in the NHS.”

MAKING TOAST!!!! While bread is only provided for the patients, nobody minds our hard working staff making themselves some toast However due to recent problems to following rules apply to EVERYBODY

Tags: bread · CAPS LOCK · danger · dishes · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · hospitals & doctors · office · U.K.