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Entries Tagged as 'excessive underlining'

Market segmentation

September 25th, 2007 · 79 Comments

From Jasmine in Georgia…


Tags: excessive underlining · Georgia · kids · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · rainbow-colored

Are you there, Margaret? God, could you be any more disgusting?

September 20th, 2007 · 335 Comments

Mona in Los Angeles brings us this pair of notes from her high-rise Century City office building.  Says Mona, “Apparently my co-worker saw the panties at issue. My question is…who leaves their panties in the bathroom at work?  Who does that?”

My question: Why are we letting Paris and Britney off the hook? If they actually remember to wear them, shouldn’t we encourage keeping them on?

some sound advice

And then there’s this one, which brings up the old mad bomber-era debate about which gender leaves the bathrooms in worse shape.

are you there, margaret? god, clean up after yourself already!

Tags: "helpful" advice · attire · bathroom · bodily fluids · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · danger · excessive underlining · group bitchfest · hygiene · Los Angeles · most popular notes of 2007 · office · that's disgusting

Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler

September 19th, 2007 · 265 Comments

Attention: corporate emergency in the Chicagoland area!

but then they switched from the swingline to the boston stapler

Meanwhile, in Seattle…

thank you so much for your collaborations

Adds our anonymous submitter, “All the glassware for all departments is washed by the poor lab slaves at least twice a day, and then promptly returned to the shelves. How much glassware are they using that they notice if a beaker or two went missing?”

Tags: a little uptight · and that's an order · Chicago · crazy boss · excessive underlining · not-so-veiled threats · office · office supplies · Seattle · spelling and grammar police

Sophisticated dryers use silverware when they eat your socks

September 19th, 2007 · 151 Comments

Our anonymous submitter spotted this note on a resident’s door in an apartment complex in Portland, oregon. Oddly, she says, this resident lives alone.
Now I realize that you may have temporarily lost your conscious sense of things, however, please return my socks and my large spoon with the silver end. Thank you

Meanwhile, James’s roommate found in the laundry room of his Sacramento apartment complex.

Thank you got taking (stealing) my towel and dryer sheets! Because of YOU I will never feel comfortable doing my laundry - I don't know if you are going to steal my clothes. YOU SUCK.

Tags: excessive underlining · laundry · neighbors · Portland · Sacramento · spoons · stealing · thanks (but not really)

Now that’s effective management

September 10th, 2007 · 113 Comments

Craig from Nottingham, England snapped these at the pub where his cousin works. (Apologies for the blurriness — just pretend you’ve already knocked back a few pints.)

TO ALL STAFF  The habit of simply writing in the duties diary or ringing up to say "Can't work" will cease forthwith. With my approval, attempts to swap shifts with another member of staff of a similar experience will be made first if that is not possible then approach to me to ask for time off. Although for some of you your work is part-time it is not temporary and I expect people when they say they want to to work at the pub to fufil [sic] their part of the bargain.

Keep this area clean and tidy and all times  do not throw away the gold coffee lids   do not eat the coffee mints

All staff: The standards achieved in this pub are not what I expect. Unless effort and levels of cleanliness improve then you must expect the consequences.

If the tin is down or up and you don't tell me then I MAY take the difference from your wages.

By the way, if you’d like to go meet Stephen and shake his hand, Craig says the name of the pub is The Flowing Spring, in Henley. Stephen seems like a kindred spirit to Desi’s New York dungeon master, no?

related: p-e-t-t-y

Tags: bar · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · crazy boss · excessive underlining · not-so-veiled threats · Nottingham · office · U.K.

Vaguely hostile hostel

September 6th, 2007 · 138 Comments

Frequent troublemaker Team Cassandra sends us a dispatch from her trip to old Montreal. The charmant hostel she stayed in had 32 hostelers, two bathrooms, one kitchen, lots of awkward signage, and an overall vibe of, “I’ve said this 10, 000 times and I’m not saying it again.”

ATTENTION ALL WHO AIM TO BOOZE IT UP TONIGHT: Drunks please go elsewhere to party (Montreal has a vast array of clubs and bars: pick one!) because people are trying to sleep after 11 pm. PS Put your empty beer bottles/cans in the recycling.

Thank you for NOT switching dorm beds :)


S.V.P. Veuillez enlever vos chaussures avant de monter. Merci


emptying the bath's drain filter

Tags: bathroom · bathtub · beer · blitzkrieg approach · Canada · drizzunk · excessive underlining · Francais · Montreal · opening/closing · smiley · transliteration

Return to sender, address unknown

September 5th, 2007 · 206 Comments

Our anonymous submitter has held on to this e-mail for more than five years now, but she still has no idea what she did to offend the sender. She barely knew him at the time, she says, “and needless to say, I don’t know him any better now, except I have a better handle on his mental state.”

Apparently you never received my e-mail. I found it in my mail box, promptly returned to me by the MAILER DEAMON.

Tags: CAPS LOCK · e-mail · excessive underlining · not-so-veiled threats · questionable logic · spelling and grammar police