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Entries Tagged as 'United States'

…and don’t let the door hit you on your way out!

June 25th, 2015 · 49 Comments

Writes out submitter, Erica: “I work in the Lower East Side of Manhattan, in a building comprised of a variety of offices and studios (fashion brands, art galleries, recording studios, artists, etc.) I find this note exceptionally funny, because in the three years I’ve worked in this building I’ve experienced the exact same rude, pompous behavior.”

...and don't let the door hit you on your way out!

related: Were you raised by wolves?

 

Tags: etiquette · New York · office

This little junk mail punk

June 20th, 2015 · 47 Comments

My first thought after reading this note: “Hmm, I’m not sure what being a “wannabe hipster” has to do with not picking up your mail.”

Then I read our submitter’s (unapologetic) explanation: “My neighbor left this taped to the mailbox in the lobby due to my tendency to leave coupons that are mailed to me on a small table under our mailboxes.”  The connection: Both can be really fucking obnoxious!

Dear hipster wannabe in apt 5, The lobby is not your personal trash can. Be responsible and throw your junk mail away...in your own trash can. Do you realize that someone has to clean up after you, each and every time you decide to be lazy? Be a responsible adult and clean up after yourself. If you'd like to talk about this more, I'm in apt 3, and I'd love to have a 'sit down' with you. Please stop being inconsiderate and pick up ALL your mail. Thank you. Zach, Apt. 3

related: This is why people hate millennials.

Tags: actually totally reasonable · going postal · grow up · Illinois · neighbors

It’s opposite day in Cincinnati!

May 26th, 2015 · 85 Comments

Chris in Cincinnati says this came in the mail with no return address.

The butterfly sticker is a nice touch, no?

Isn't it nice the Garbage men come and take you'r [sic] garbage away, then leave you with the EMPTY cans so that you may put them away.

related: Welcome to the neighborhood. You’re totally screwing it up.

 

Tags: Cincinnati · garbage · neighbors · unnecessary "quotation marks"

Dear Booger-Flicker

May 6th, 2015 · 49 Comments

The epidemic continues!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP FLICKING YOUR BOOGERS ON THE WALL. Sincerely, Everyone that has to look at those nasty things

related: It’s called “performance art”

Tags: bathroom · Florida · nose-picking · that's disgusting

Playing chicken

March 23rd, 2015 · 76 Comments

So, this is what happens in Jacksonville, Florida when one neighbor accuses another of harboring illegal backyard fowl:

NO!!! WE DON'T HAVE CHICKENS OR ROOSTERS!

inappropriate hashtag

related: Cock fight!

extra credit: On the backyard chicken trend [npr.org]

Tags: #inappropriatehashtag · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Jacksonville · Oops?

Parking spots in Boston? It’s snow joking matter.

February 24th, 2015 · 153 Comments

This year, one Boston neighborhood tried to ban the time-honored practice of using space-savers to reserve a parking spot after shoveling it. But old habits die hard…and somewhat violently.

When it comes to space-saving, says our submitter from Boston, “I get it. I respect it!” But after two of her own “space savers” were stolen, she figured the rules were off. One night, she says, “As I was looking for open parking , I pulled into an unclaimed space, thinking, what luck! No chair in sight!” Too good to be true, it turns out. When she returned to her car, she found this. (Thoughtfully kept dry in a plastic bag, I assume.)

You must be new to Boston or just a complete cock sucker because a chair in the space means I worked my ass off shoveling for hours. You're lucky I'm nice, most people would key your car.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Boston…

related: Shoveling and sniveling

extra credit: The social ethics of parking spot savers [wbur.org]

Tags: Boston · parking · snow

Yours Truly, The Skid Marker

February 3rd, 2015 · 150 Comments

Our submitter says this note (and the accompanying response) was posted in the ladies restroom of a busy medical complex in Florida.

Yours Truly, The Skid Marker

related: POEP!

Tags: Florida · office · rebuttals · shit · toilet

Sinners in the hands of an angry American

January 29th, 2015 · 76 Comments

Amanda in Florida works near a lovely bridge where, she says, “you are almost assured to see manatees at every visit.” On one side of this bridge is “a very beautiful home”…and now this very disturbing sign.

I hope God takes pity on your soul because my nostrils are eager to be filled with he stench of your burning flesh as you descend into the depths of hell

related: The right to bear fruit

Tags: die bitch die · Florida · not-so-veiled threats · public shaming · you're like so going to hell

Citation: Copier Abuse

December 15th, 2014 · 26 Comments

Alice in Fresno says that since this sign went up, she’s made a point of greeting the copier every time she passes it. The coworker who wrote it was apparently tired of hearing people cursing out the (stupid!) machine when it screws up (all the damn time!).

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM TALKING TO, OR ABOUT, THE COPIER.

related: The printer doesn’t appreciate your tone.

Tags: anthropomorphism · Fresno · office · the printer

Is this a tanning booth or a barnyard stall?

November 20th, 2014 · 50 Comments

Writes Joanna in Pennsylvania: “Following (apparently) more than one incident in which a customer relieved themselves in the stand-up tanning booths in my town, this signage was posted in every tanning booth. Because, ya know, people need to be reminded to not just randomly crap themselves every time they get naked.”

A $250 booth cleaning and repair fee will be charged to your account if you have an "accident" while tanning. Please use restroom prior to beginning your tanning session

Adds Joanna: ” Yes, I asked an employee and the incidents in question involved #2!” If it makes you feel any better, Joanna, it turns out your problem is far from unique to south central PA.

 

related: On preparing a hide for tanning

Tags: Pennsylvania · shit · that's unsanitary