Entries Tagged as 'Berkeley'

Just wait ’til he finds out the truth about the whole “fat guy down the chimney” thing

December 22nd, 2008 · 86 Comments

Sarah was taking a little stroll in Berkeley, California last December when she saw a house that clearly belonged to the “more is more” school of holiday decorating.

You know the type: “Giant candy canes, red bows, lights, even one of those life-sized plastic snow globes that blows confetti snow all around inside — all in a yard about the width of the sidewalk I was walking on,” Sarah says. “This note was tacked onto the fence, above an empty space in the row of candy canes.”

Who stole and vandalized a candy cane? Shame on you! My son will not understand your behavior. He will be confused and sad. Please control yourself and don't vandalize the Xmas decorations.

Adds Sarah: “Poor little boy. Now he’s not going to know it’s Christmas.”

related: a holiday wish

Tags: Berkeley · Christmas · excessive underlining · guilt trip · holiday spirit · Moms & Dads · stealing · vandalism · Won't somebody think of the children?

The art of the passive-aggressive note

May 23rd, 2008 · 77 Comments

Sure, it’d be easier and quicker to just clean it up. But the modern passive-aggressive (like Katey in Berkeley’s ex-roommate) can’t pass up the opportunity to make a point.

CAT ACCIDENT ->

A common variation on the Van der Rohe approach, as documented below by Sam in Dallas, is the so-called “Reverse Magritte.”

NOT A TRASH CAN

Meanwhile, post-modern passive-aggressives (like this New York office-worker below) can’t resist throwing some irony into the mix, intentional or not.

WTF? "What the fuck?"

More recently, passive-aggressives have begun to show the influence of the burgeoning neo-pop movement. Our anonymous submitter in Houston, for example, designed the original stamp below for use in his work. “I am an engineer and we have to mark up technical drawings for manufacture,” he explains, in his artist’s statement. “It gets used at least twice a day.”

WTF?

The bleeding-edge of passive-aggressive note-writing, however, lies on the west coast, where Rebecca in San Francisco says that in the past, “We’ve had an ongoing series of notes left in the office kitchen — usually of the ‘your mother doesn’t work here’ or ‘there is no such thing as the coffee fairy’ variety.” The Koons-inspired piece currently on display in the office breakroom, however, makes its point with no words at all.

the Jeff Koons approach

related: Why-fi

Tags: actions speak louder · art · Berkeley · cleaning · Houston · New York · Oakland · obnoxious definition · office · roommates · San Francisco · WTF?

Maybe it’s time for Sally Struthers to get involved

May 14th, 2008 · 140 Comments

With finals and thesis deadlines coming up, stress levels among grad students at UC-Berkeley have been running high (which means attention to the finer points of, say, apostrophe use, are running low). And now there’s a lunch thief on the loose!

Taking food is a penal code violation and we have reported these thefts to the cops.

Sadly, says our submitter, the note’s multi-pronged approach (guilt, threats, helpful advice) seems to have had no effect; the lunch thief remains at large. The next course of action? “We’re considering planting laxative-laced desserts.”

related: It must have been a pretty big bite

Tags: apostrophe abuse · Berkeley · California · college life · food · fridge · kitchen · preggers · stealing · the homeless · warning

Come get some

October 26th, 2007 · 148 Comments

Lisa in Berkeley says she was doing laundry in her dorm building when someone pointed out this amazing note to her. “According to that person, who knew the note-poster through a friend, ‘The towels were actually nice. They were from Kohl’s or something.’”

I just want whoever stole my fucking towels last night, btwn the hours of 3 and 8 am, to know that u deserve to die for that shit, its [sic] trifling, and disgusting. I wiped btwn my legs with those towels! U are nasty. Please know that if either I or my roommate notice our towels in your load one day, and [sic] ass kicking will surely follow. 4th floor Slottman residents, come get some.

Lisa says the note has since been taken down. “I guess either an RA got to it, or someone got a beating.”

Tags: Berkeley · California · college life · Comic Sans Alert · comma diarrhea · die bitch die · laundry · not-so-veiled threats · RA · spelling and grammar police · stealing · that's disgusting · TMI · towels