Entries Tagged as 'California'

Dirty, dirty bridesmaids

January 21st, 2010 · 77 Comments

“I was forced to go wedding dress shopping with a total bridezilla I know,” writes our submitter in Fredericksburg, Virginia. “Another girl with us is also engaged to be married, and she wanted to try on dresses too. Bridezilla just smiled sweetly and pointed to the sign posted in the dressing room. Her exact words: ‘Sorry, only the bride is allowed, and today is my day.’”

There will be a $75 cleaning fee for wedding gowns being tried on by anyone other than the bride.

Apparently you’d better keep an eye on those shifty bridesmaids when they’re shopping for the bachelorette party, too. (Or else…cow them into submission with more threats of an unenforceable nature?)

Yeah, good luck with that

(Spotted by Molly at “Kitty House” boutique in Irvine, California.)

related: What say you, Emily Post?

Tags: California · stealing · Virginia · weddings and bridezillas · WTF?

(Don’t Fear) The Creeper

January 3rd, 2010 · 170 Comments

I live in an apartment complex where most people know each other and are generally on good terms,” says Jin in California…or so he thought. As it turns out, there’s a pool of bold-underlined-all-caps-highlighted frustration simmering (oh-so-hilariously) just below the surface.

Hey you! Yes YOU! (The Peeping Tom): If I EVER catch you looking through my window again I swear on everything I hold dear that my cooter will be the last thing your pervy eyes will ever see again.

To the person who saw me peeping at you

related: Be more private with yourself

Tags: bold underlined italics · California · CAPS LOCK · double-entendre alert · high on highlighter · holiday spirit · mistaken identity · most popular notes of 2010 · neighbors · non-apology apology · not-so-veiled threats · Oops? · rebuttals · sad face · sex sex sex

Don’t feed the cat (or the trolls)

December 29th, 2009 · 86 Comments

Hey, so do you remember hearing about how crazy cat ladies might be explained by the Toxoplasma parasite? (No? Then listen to this episode of Radiolab. It’s pretty awesome.) Well, Toxo may or may not explain these notes.

Exhibit a) Spotted by Shane at an office in Upland, California…

"Regarding my cat": His name is Taboo not some silly name that some of you call him. I want all of you to mind your own business and leave my cat alone. I don't want you even talking to him. If I catch anyone feeding Taboo, I want you on notice NOW!!!!!!! I will terminate your employment. IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!

Exhibit b) From an apartment building in Austin, Texas…

Please do not feed or have the grey tabby in your home.

related: Cat fight!

extra credit: Radiolab: Parasites

Tags: Austin · California · CAPS LOCK · cats · exclamation-point happy!!!! · MYOB · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · rebuttals · unnecessary "quotation marks"

RSV-f’ing-P. Comprenez-vous?

December 13th, 2009 · 155 Comments

“Our office manager was upset that people weren’t responding promptly enough to the Christmas party invitation,” says our submitter in San Diego.

In keeping with the holiday spirit of things, the office manager  apparently channeled that anger into the posting of this (uncredited) About.com excerpt in the office kitchen, for the edification of all. How that’s for savoir faire?

The term RSVP comes from the French expression "répondez s'il vous plaît", meaning "please respond". If RSVP is written on an invitation it means the invited guest must tell the host whether or not they plan to attend the party. It does not mean to respond only if you're coming, and it does not mean respond only if you're not coming (the expression "regrets only" is reserved for that instance). It means the host needs a definite head count for the planned event, and needs it by the date specified on the invitation.

related: An evening of congenial abnormality

Tags: Christmas · etiquette · it's my party · obnoxious definition · office · party planning committee · San Diego

Raging against the pinball machine

December 6th, 2009 · 123 Comments

A parable of the state of the “hot dot-com” workplace in 2009: The story goes, according to our anonymous submitter in California:

Some executive-level person decided to put a pinball machine into our break area. After several months, someone must have complained about the noise, because a note went up telling us it was not to be played. When some employees decided to play the machine at 7 AM (assuming nobody in the building was in), the note was replaced by a new (more specific) note.

Pinball Machine is NOT to be played at any time. Thank you!

After that, “the machine was unplugged and left to gather dust,” our submitter says…and to silently taunt all of the office’s embittered would-be pinball wizards. Until, one day…multiball!

The Pinball Machine is SOLELY TO BE LOOKED AT. And also to post notes on Not to play pinball.

related: “Popcorn Thursday”

Tags: California · note wars · now that's management · office · raging against the machine · rebuttals

Euphemisms of disturb

December 2nd, 2009 · 335 Comments

Our submitter in Dublin, California was leaving her apartment for work one morning when she found this syntactically-challenged note stuck to the door. “I assume my anonymous complaining neighbor has the wrong apartment number because A) My husband and I do not have children and B) For all but one of the dates listed no one was home to make any noise.”

She adds: ” We do, however, have other neighbors next door who are quite loud, and I’ve often been woken up to the sounds of moans, grunts and something heavy slamming into an adjoining wall.” (You know, just like that part in Big where they play pinball and jump on the trampoline!)

“When my husband saw this he laughed pretty hard and wondered aloud weather ‘kids jumping on the bed‘ was a euphemism for loud sex.”

euphemisms of disturb

related: Down and dirty down under (dear)

Tags: California · neighbors · noise · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police

Gee, that’ll show ’em

November 17th, 2009 · 95 Comments

Exhibit a) The “urban” example, from the Silver Lake neighborhood of L.A…

passiveaggressivenotes.com: stop tagging my house

Exhibit b) The equally ineffectual suburban cousin of exhibit a, from “a quiet, small community in San Diego where the residents are basically all over 50.”

That'll show 'em!

related: bleak house

Tags: California · garbage · graffiti · Los Angeles · questionable logic · San Diego

You’re very welcome!

October 20th, 2009 · 136 Comments

Jonathan, John and Michael  share a roof deck with their next-door neighbors in San Francisco, who Jonathan says “repeatedly, and seemingly sincerely, invited us to use their barbecue grill any old time.”

One weekend, JJ&M decided to take them up on their offer. They organized a small cook-out for friends and (oh-so-thoughtfully) invited the neighbors to join. “They did,” Jonathan says, “and a good time was had by all.”

Then, the next day, this gracious thank-you note was slipped under their door.

passiveaggressivenotes: Thank you note: You're very welcome!

related: blowing smoke

Tags: neighbors · San Francisco · sharing is caring · thanks (but not really)

The Patty Hearst of fish

October 7th, 2009 · 164 Comments

Laura in Los Angeles spotted this note at a tropical-themed family restaurant in Rosemead, California, where aquariums figure heavily into the decor. The biggest fish, Laura says, occupies his (her?) own tank at the front of the restaurant.

Piscine body image issues aside, as a former casual-dining restaurant hostess  — a job that generally means bearing the brunt of the bullshit from pissy customers, stressed-out servers, and douche-nozzle managers with very little power to make anyone happy — I can certainly empathize with the note writer…though I highly doubt it’s actually eliminated the litany of  the “oh, that poor fish!” comments that inspired it.

Hi! My name is Rufus (or Rufina) I am 32 years old! I have been in this tank my whole life and I LOVE it here! Please don't say I need a bigger tank, it just makes me feel FAT! (I can't afford therapy!) I am fine really!!!!

passiveaggressivenotes.com: help, my fish has stockholm syndrome!

related: no, yuppie, my cow’s not starving

Tags: anthropomorphism · California · exclamation-point happy!!!! · fish · restaurant

Love, Dad

July 26th, 2009 · 105 Comments

While returning a long-lost battery charger, Kaitlin’s Dad echoes the sentiments of parents with adult children everywhere.

Love, Dad
Meanwhile, Sarah in Greenville, S.C. shows the downside of giving in to parents’ nagging for unfettered access.

busted!

related: why you should not be facebook friends with your parents

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Facebook · Moms & Dads · San Francisco · signed with love · South Carolina