Entries Tagged as 'California'

Blowing smoke

May 28th, 2009 · 342 Comments

There’s a guilt trip…

Hello Kancer!

And then there’s a guilt trip.

Your barbecue = 9/11

related: Your hamster died? Well, I can top that.

Tags: guilt trip · New York · nice stationery · Oakland · odor · thanks (but not really)

If she were really passive-aggressive, she’d get the fence secretly electrified

May 18th, 2009 · 170 Comments

Writes Chris in Riverside, California: “My friend Eric essentially has a LAN center in his garage. Cigarettes and energy drinks are the diet of choice and we (usually 5 to 7 people lanning there at any given time) piss on his fence so we don’t flush the toilet too many times over the evening. He woke up one morning with this note from his mother.”

I’d say Eric got off pretty easy, no?

ERIC - PICK UP THE CIGARETTE BUTTS! NOW & do not piss on the fence! That is so Disrespectful to me & this house! What the hell Eric! There is a bathroom right thru the door! USE IT.

related: WoW, indeed

Tags: actually totally reasonable · California · Moms & Dads · piss · smoking · toilet

A “sincere” apology

May 7th, 2009 · 371 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter in San Francisco: “I spotted this on the sidewalk on my way to work. (It wasn’t obviously attached to anything, just laying there.)  I realize parking in SF is a real nightmare, with driveways every .03 inches, but come on!

Sincerely, your hardworking neighbor

related: How Berkeley

Tags: car · parking · San Francisco · sarcasm

Spit & vinegar

May 3rd, 2009 · 197 Comments

Writes Matt in Los Angeles: “I went to get some of the 2% milk I keep in our communal work fridge for my coffee, and BAM! — front and center was this lovely.”

Do not use! I spit in this (since someone's been using it) THANKS! [I spit in it too! (since you're a jerk)]

related: And I’m singing “uh oh” on a Friday night

Tags: heart · Los Angeles · office fridge · rebuttals · spitting · thanks (but not really)

The more the messier

April 30th, 2009 · 218 Comments

Presumably, writes Chris in San Francisco, the note-writer “figured that if she didn’t put a note on all each offending bag, someone was going to feel left out.”

Please put your name on your Bags or they will be tossed! Many of the bags are left with rotting fruit and molded plastic containers. Thank you.

Please put your name on your Bags or they will be tossed! Many of the bags are left with rotting fruit and molded plastic containers. Thank you.

Adds Chris: “Admittedly, the Kashi cereal box in the back has been there for over two years.  I leave it just as an experiment in human behavior, but apparently somebody had had enough.”

related: A sign (or ten) that your HR department might have too much time on their hands

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · office fridge · San Francisco

The International Brotherhood of Daves

April 16th, 2009 · 161 Comments

Writes Joe in Van Nuys, California: “Dave has been upset because people have been drinking his tea. Apparently, he was unaware of other potential Daves in the office. Next time, maybe he should clarify?”

Is Your name Dave? Yes!  My name IS Dave.  Thanks for the free drink!  Daves 4 Life!!!

related: Who’s the smartass?

Tags: California · most popular notes of 2009 · office fridge · rebuttals · stealing · tea

More notes white (yuppie-ish) people leave

March 30th, 2009 · 247 Comments

Quelle horreur!  “A good week after using my roommate’s microplane to grate parmesan, this note showed up on the fridge whiteboard,” writes Tori in (where else?) San Francisco. “Apparently microplanes are for ZESTING ONLY!”

Microplane zester is not a cheese grater.

(unless, of course, it’s a microplane zester/grater.)

related: notes white people leave

Tags: "helpful" advice · kitchen · roommates · San Francisco · whiteboard

All the makings of a great Noah Baumbach screenplay

March 25th, 2009 · 248 Comments

Victoria in Foster city, California, says her brother taped this note to one of the kitchen cabinets in their mother’s house after her boyfriend took his own frozen chicken out of little brother’s grasp the night before. (Just to clarify that mess of pronouns: it was Victoria’s boyfriend’s chicken. Not that it really matters.)

Kitchen Rules

“He’s 17 and constantly PMS-ing and thinks he has reign of the house,” Victoria says of her brother. So, in response, Victoria did whatever any older sibling does when a parent tells you to suck it up and act your age. (Namely: exactly the opposite.)

New "house" rules: pubescent adolescents don't make house rules

all the makings of a great noah baumbach screenplay

all the makings of a great noah baumbach screenplay

related: no girls allowed

Tags: California · family · kitchen · not-so-veiled threats · rebuttals · siblings

The ripped-off tabs are what get me

March 18th, 2009 · 154 Comments

Veronica spotted this gloriously expressive exercise in futility stapled to a telephone pole near her home in San Francisco. I totally forgive the double p in “apartment,” because dude,  I know exactly how you feel.

Also, the idea of someone ripping off one of those tabs and going, “Why yes, I will fuck myself!” is just really tickling me right now.

FUCK YOU You stole our laptops from our appartment [sic], but I'm sure you needed them all, right? The pillow case you took them in, keep it. But the laptops, come on. What a fucking jerk.

related: untitled (broken glass)

Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · San Francisco · stealing

The case for single-sex toilets

March 17th, 2009 · 139 Comments

“In the staff area of our library, there is a single-stall, co-ed bathroom,” says our anonymous submitter in Berkeley, California. Everyone got along okay, more or less, until recently, when one of the library’s male employees “left quite a mess behind.” A female coworker responded with the note below.

Turn around. Did everything flush? Did you wipe the seat and put it back down? Have some common courtesy. We don't want to know your business. Thanks

And then, well, the lines were drawn.

Please DO NOT flush any feminine products in the toilet!

Please also avoid flushing the following Masculine Products in the toilet: Electric razors, Sporting equipment, T.V. remotes, Guns, Excessive Aggression

related: dude kinda has a point

Tags: battle of the sexes · Berkeley · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · fed-up librarian · office · toilet