Entries Tagged as 'California'

Southern California: it’s hard out here for a goth

February 24th, 2009 · 68 Comments

Jennifer in Echo Park admits that she stole this note under the cover of night — she found it stuck with silver electrical tape to the back of a battered electrician’s work truck — BUT, she contends, “I would never ever steal someone’s leather pants (out of their truck). I am not a monster.”

To the thief who stole my leather pants out of my truck: those were very sentimental to me and you will never know their value. So please put them back.

Meanwhile, Sam in Pomona snapped this photo at the local Wal-Mart. Will this persecution never end?!

Attn: Customers please ask for assistance for black eyeliner. Thank You [IT'S BECAUSE YOU STEAL]

related: I know where she lives

Tags: California · guilt trip · Los Angeles · retail hell · stealing

Phil the vampire slayer

February 23rd, 2009 · 90 Comments

Travis’s bud Josh — a cable guy in Delaware — snapped this photo while out on a repair call.

Phil  Thanks to you This Park is Now Vampire Free [Eat More Garlic!] Love, The Harts

Meanwhile, Elaine in California is wondering if Phil makes housecalls, too.  “I always get up and open the blinds in the morning to let the light in,” she says. “As soon as my roommate gets up, she immediately closes all of them.”

Light = EVIL :)

related: Oxford drama

Tags: California · Delaware · roommates · signed with love · smiley · WTF?

Oh, sure, blame it on the housekeeper

February 20th, 2009 · 73 Comments

Says Corrine in Los Angeles: “I walked into my friends’ building and saw these posted ALL OVER.” (Trifling much?)

Did someone's housekeeper take my 2 DOZEN white bath towels from the top dryer by mistake? PLEASE return to Paula #101!

related: come get some

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · excessive underlining · laundry · Los Angeles · stealing

He’s just not that into unicorns

February 15th, 2009 · 97 Comments

Two target customers for Lisa Frank’s new line of movie tie-in stickers — coming soon to the Hot Topic/Urban Outfitters near you!

Dear Tyler, I painted you a valentine turtle and you said you would meet me earlier so I could give it to you, but YOU LIED! So, I am taping it to your door. Happy Valentine's day!  I don't think we should see each other any more.  Love, Molly!

(Above, from Colorado. Below, from California.)

Amor,  I'm really disappointed in you. You are not my better half instead my Bitter Half!

related: Do not kiss on someone else’s kiss
extra credit: The legend of Casey™ and Caymus™

Tags: California · college life · Colorado · heart · nice stationery · rainbow-colored · sig o · signed with love · spurned lover

Expect to see this ad airing in primetime very soon

February 3rd, 2009 · 106 Comments

Marina found this flyer on her car’s windshield in Venice Beach, California. With a sales pitch as compelling as this one, it’s really only a matter of time before this AMAZING OPPORTUNITY!!! pops up alongside TV offers like Cash4gold and the (ever-popular) Pedegg.

If I can work from my home part time and make over $400 per week so can you I'll prove it! If you don't call, enjoy what you're presently doing. You'll probably be doing it FOREVER!!

Adds Marina: “I haven’t tried calling the number…yet.” WHAT IS SHE WAITING FOR?!?!

related: Spinal manipulation

Tags: bad sales pitch · California · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!!

Sausage-shaped, but lumpy

January 20th, 2009 · 131 Comments

Tom took notice of this “open letter” — a thoughtful missive that clearly merits our collective attention — on a telephone pole in San Francisco.

If we’re really lucky, perhaps this Richard Asshat character will grace us with an open response in the comments, whiteblizzard70-style!

An open letter to the asshat who uses Osgood Place as their own personal shitting grounds

An open letter (close up)

an open letter (close up)

(Note: For your further enrichment, here’s a less faded graphic of the bristol stool scale.)

related: when ph.d.s get angry
extra credit: mcsweeney’s open letters

Tags: dogs · San Francisco · shit · visual aids

Trained to eat things that would make a billy goat puke

January 15th, 2009 · 182 Comments

Dale in El Segundo, California has the thankless job of ordering office supplies, coffee and whatnot for the cube-farm where he works. Really, really thankless. This note appeared on his desk one day attached to a packet of no-sugar-added hot chocolate.

Seriously Dale, Did you think this would get past me? Sugarless Hot Chocolate will not work. Dan "When your [sic] pushed, killing is as easy as breathing" - Rambo

related: refrain/stop/discontinue

Tags: and that's an order · beverages · California · cocoa · not-so-veiled threats · office

Where’s the beef?

January 12th, 2009 · 78 Comments

Writes Ashley in Thousand Oaks, California: “A few years ago, my grandmother and I were sharing a bathroom, and sometimes I would use her towels. One day I opened the drawer and found this note. Of course, I had to take a picture!”

HANDS OFF YOU DIE

And then…well, then there’s this.

related: How I “did” my grandma

Tags: California · die bitch die · family · Grandma · not-so-veiled threats · old folks

Desperately seeking closure

January 6th, 2009 · 83 Comments

Nate’s sister Heather found this note (written on a bus schedule) outside their house in Los Angeles. “I’d like to think Dan took a bus to surprise Roberto, only to be given the cold shoulder,” Nate says, but we can only speculate about the nature of Dan’s attitude towards the future of this relationship. (Zen? Desperate? Really, really flexible?)

Adds Nate: “I particularly appreciate how he gives Roberto the option to improvise.”

Roberto, if you don't want to let me in that's O.K...But please at least do the same for me as any other friend and look out the window and say

related: Tant pis, mon amie

Tags: frenemies · Los Angeles

Putting the “X” in “X-mas”

December 29th, 2008 · 89 Comments

“My family moved out of the house we grew up in seven years ago, and our old neighbor sent us this Christmas card,” writes Gloria in Los Angeles. (Gloria herself seems to have made a particularly strong impression.)

Vicki, Tony, Kinda, Tom, Rita, + forgot

Meanwhile, in Providence, R.I., Jessica’s aunt seems to be doing her best to put the “X” in “X-mas.”

Jessica, Aunt Karen bought you a few small items for X-mas. After this you and Kristen are off the list.

related: two birds with one snowman

Tags: "forgot" · Christmas · family · holiday spirit · Los Angeles · neighbors · signed with love