Entries Tagged as 'California'

Maybe you should switch to body wash?

March 31st, 2008 · 89 Comments

At least that would make the roommate situation a little less hairy

STOP USING MY BAR OF SOAP IN THE SHOWER!

related: Losing Lisa

Tags: grow up · hair · hygiene · roommates · San Diego · shower · that's disgusting

It’s not a race (it’s a social construct)

March 25th, 2008 · 220 Comments

Here’s a trio of notes from California that each make me very uncomfortable…and not just because of the painful lack of irony.

First up: an excerpt from seating guidelines posted at the quaint little Mexican restaurant in Huntington Beach where Brynn used to waitress. So quaint, Brynn says, “They also posted a dress code rule that ladies must wear makeup and skirts could not be below the knee.”

Mexican people prefer a booth

Meanwhile, a little farther south, a construction worker left this note for James in San Diego…while he was parked in front of his own house.

TRY MOVING YOUR TRUCK UP SO THAT ANOTHER ONE CAN FIT ASSHOLE! O WAIT YOUR PROBABLY A FUCKIN MEXICAN!

And the last word goes to this bit of social commentary, which Jen spotted on the window of a soon-to-be-opened restaurant in San Francisco.

Speak English (OK, BITE ME XENOPHOBE!)

related: Je comprends…moi non plus

extra credit: ¡Ask a Mexican!® [ocweekly.com]

Tags: California · casual xenophobia · parking · restaurant · San Diego · your/you're

Je comprends…moi non plus

March 10th, 2008 · 275 Comments

Marc in San Francisco spotted this at a restaurant in the Haight called All You Knead (have fun with those puns, kids). I can certainly empathize, but after reading some of the reviews…well, maybe there’s a reason the tips aren’t so great.

Attention foreign travelers...a quick guide to the wacky American custom of tipping

related: A friendly tip from your waitress

Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · Francais · restaurant · San Francisco · tipping

Stop, Hammertime!

February 26th, 2008 · 84 Comments

So, after seeing this note from Daily Piglet in Columbia, South Carolina:

DO NOT TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT EVER!!!

And this one, from Anna in Providence, Rhode Island:

Do Not Touch! Ever!!!!

And this doozy from an anonymous San Francisco office worker…

DON'T TOUCH!!!! DON'T TOUCH!!!

Is it any wonder that this photo from afroswede‘s flickrstream (and others) came to mind?

can’t touch this

(Meanwhile, over at bethany’s “blog”…u can touch this.)

related: Can I lick it?

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Providence · San Francisco · South Carolina · temperature · touching

Landmine in my bloodline

February 8th, 2008 · 110 Comments

Nothing could have prepared Lauren in Oakland for the passive-aggressive avalanche that awaited her the other day at her new apartment. She calls the experience of finding the notes totally surreal. “It keeps playing back in slow motion in my mind, from the second I saw the first one hanging over the threshold to my absolute horror and delight at finding an eleventh one hours later on the bathroom door.” Here’s the theme park version!

“I’m not sure anything in particular prompted it,” Lauren says, “but I live, apparently, in some kind of alternate dimension where full-grown adults believe in chore-wheels, so it could’ve been anything — but certainly not ELEVEN things to correspond with the number of found notes. Then again, I’m not a timebomb waiting to explode, so how would I know?”

related: recipe for roommate discord

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · cleaning · ellipses-crazed · Oakland · roommates · spelling and grammar police

A friend of a friend is our enemy

February 7th, 2008 · 83 Comments

Tina is Los Angeles didn’t have any problem with her roommate‘s friend couchsurfing at their apartment for a month, but both she and her roomie started to get irked when the friend started inviting other friends to stay over — and then kept doing it, even after the roomie expressly asked her not to.

“The first friend we encountered killed one of my fish and put gum in my aquarium,” Tina says. When another friend-of-a-friend started “subtly and sarcastically deriding” their taste in fashion/entertainment/blah blah blah…well, the roommates decided enough was enough.

NOTE: Because of the discomfort associated with Lana, we (the residents of 305) have agreed that the best course of action is to NOT ALLOW LANA BACK INTO THE APARTMENT. This is NON-NEGOTIABLE. Her personal effects may be retreived [sic] by an approved person (Ashley). If the aforementioned is violated, law enforcement will be called to mediate the situation. Best wishes

related: Some suggestions for the comfort of your guest

Tags: excessive underlining · guests · Los Angeles · not-so-veiled threats · pleasantries as afterthought · roommates

Or possilly, that no body ‘b’ there

January 12th, 2008 · 74 Comments

Mishee was about to go ahead and just pay for that Snapple…until she saw this colorful little note at a drugstore in Sunnyvale, California. Phew!

attn.JPG

UPDATE: Mishee (ever the overachiever) has returned to the scene to satisfy your curiosity about the signs behind the signs…and finds her Snapple-drinking plans foiled in the process!

Photobucket

related: If it weren’t for the toilet, there would be no books

Tags: "helpful" advice · bathroom · California · sad face · Silicon Valley · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"

I know where she lives

January 3rd, 2008 · 126 Comments

Margarita spotted this note in the window of a laundromat in San Francisco. Honestly, she says, “I’m more afraid of a vindictive, threatening neighbor than a laundry ‘theif.’”

LAUNDRY THEIF [sic]

related: No, that’s not the British spelling

Tags: laundry · neighbors · San Francisco · spelling and grammar police · stealing · warning