Entries Tagged as 'California'

Another year without the Great Pumpkin

October 17th, 2013 · 43 Comments

Well, it’s that time of year again…time for heartless hooligans to smash pumpkins (and with them, the hearts of small, gourd-loving children).

David in California spotted this sign next to a small field of corn and pumpkins located next to a popular public jogging trail.

Whoever stole the Big Pumpkin you broke a little boy's heart

related: It’s hard out there for a pumpkin.

Tags: California · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Halloween · stealing · Won't somebody think of the children?

Four horsemen…and a microwave

October 15th, 2013 · 25 Comments

Rachel in California says the breakroom at her office hasn’t caused many problems in the past, but a recent wave of new hires has changed that. “The last time I opened the microwave it was stuffed with paper towels, the walls were slathered in orange goop, and it smelled like rotting horse flesh.” (In other words, like a frozen lasagna from Tesco?)

Is this a post-apocalyptic world where the blacks and whites of morality have blurred into a hazy grey and every man takes care of himself and only himself? No? Then CLEAN THE MICROWAVE AFTER YOU USE IT!

related: Someday, when society has all but crumbled around you…

Tags: California · cleaning · microwave · office

Check out this sick whip

August 18th, 2013 · 61 Comments

“I’m not a car guy,” writes our submitter from Los Angeles, “but I’m in love with my neighbor’s car. I walk by every day hoping a ‘For Sale’ sign will show up.” Today, he happened to found this note (which I read more like the beginning of a story story) stuck to the windshield instead.

My wife doesn't want me playing paintball with you anymore. I'll see ya at church.

Check out this sick whip!

related: Signed, Your Proud Wife

 

Tags: car · Los Angeles · love & marriage

Please take your pants out of the window

July 11th, 2013 · 54 Comments

“Every once in awhile,” writes Sarah in San Diego, “some disgruntled person in my condo building slides a (always unsigned) note under my door declaring their fury at some minor offense. This is the latest.”

Pls take your pants out of the window. This is a holiday! Everyone is laughing. Thank you.

“For the record,” Sarah adds, “said pants were bright-pink Lilly Pulitzer circa 1985; put near a window to dry — I don’t trust my thrift shop purchases to just any dryer — and I think only added to the general festivity of July 4th as they fluttered in the cross breeze!”

related: Sentimental pants

Tags: neighbors · San Diego

Take it sleazy

June 24th, 2013 · 59 Comments

Jeff in California was not too happy when a neighbor slapped this on his door. “I am a lover of vintage neon,” he says, “and do not drink Budweiser or hang out in dive bars.” (I’m guessing his neighbor didn’t catch the nuance.)

Please move your neon Budweiser sign so it is not visible from the outside. It looks very tacky and sleazy. I don't want to live across from a dive bar. Thank you for your understanding. Yours Truely, [sic] Your Neighbors

related: Tacky, you say?

Tags: a matter of taste · California · neighbors

Oh look, Reddit exploded in the kitchen.

June 19th, 2013 · 46 Comments

STAHP.

Kitchen signs are the best! SMALL KITCHEN SIGNS ARE BETTER. I disagree. I made a kitchen sign but I eated it. If you are the making coffee first thing in the morning, please rinse out the coffee pot. Thank you. Every time you use the last paper towel and don't replace the roll, a kitten cries (and then gets eaten slowly by a hungry, endangered polar bear. The new rolls are located in the cabinet behind you. Please replace it when necessary. Thanks...from the kittens. (The polar bears? Not so much. Still hungry.)

Every time you use the last paper towel and don't replace the roll, a kitten cries (and then gets eaten slowly by a hungry, endangered polar bear. The new rolls are located in the cabinet behind you. Please replace it when necessary. Thanks...from the kittens. (The polar bears? Not so much. Still hungry.)

related: The Internet is leaking.

Tags: cats · kitchen · Los Angeles · note wars · office · shameless meme-mongering

Trading up

May 8th, 2013 · 62 Comments

This seems like a conversation you should probably have in person, no? I mean…ouch.

Justin, Would you be willing to move out? My friend Mark is looking to move to Berkeley & it would be awesome if he could live here. He's planning on coming June 20th ish. -Lenny

related: Dear Alex, GET OUT.

Tags: Berkeley · moving/not moving · roommates

The crap we put up with for marriage…

May 6th, 2013 · 24 Comments

Our submitter spotted this twist on a well-worn trope in the Potrero Hill neighborhood of San Francisco.

My wife is not allowing me to release the video to you tube featuring your dog POOPING in front of our house and you neglecting to pick it up!!!! PLEASE PICK UP YOUR POOP or you may cause problems with my marriage. Thank You!!!

related: Do you know these dogs???

Tags: dogs · love & marriage · San Francisco · shit

Hellfire & arthritis

April 21st, 2013 · 45 Comments

An eye for an eye, I understand. But a flower for joint inflammation?

You stole my sunflowers? God punished you with ARTHRITIS! Cheers!

(Thanks to Sandra in Los Angeles for submitting!)

related: No, He uses Vaseline.

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · God · Los Angeles · stealing

Don’t mess with WeHo

March 19th, 2013 · 34 Comments

Writes Matt in West Hollywood: “Apparently a certain ‘Alex’ in our neighborhood has been downing protein smoothies and then discarding the cups on the street.” Not cool, man. Not cool.

ALEX! What's wrong there, Mr. Muscle? Cup too heavy for you? How about you start using TRASH CANS for your TRASH? (P.S. - You are on candid camera big boy)

related: The City of Brotherly Littering

Tags: California · littering · p.s.