Dear late-night cat: plz discipline ur lady. kthxbai.
related: Please walk your elephant quietly!
Well, it’s that time of year again…time for heartless hooligans to smash pumpkins (and with them, the hearts of small, gourd-loving children).
David in California spotted this sign next to a small field of corn and pumpkins located next to a popular public jogging trail.
related: It’s hard out there for a pumpkin.
Rachel in California says the breakroom at her office hasn’t caused many problems in the past, but a recent wave of new hires has changed that. “The last time I opened the microwave it was stuffed with paper towels, the walls were slathered in orange goop, and it smelled like rotting horse flesh.” (In other words, like a frozen lasagna from Tesco?)
“I’m not a car guy,” writes our submitter from Los Angeles, “but I’m in love with my neighbor’s car. I walk by every day hoping a ‘For Sale’ sign will show up.” Today, he happened to found this note (which I read more like the beginning of a story story) stuck to the windshield instead.
related: Signed, Your Proud Wife
“Every once in awhile,” writes Sarah in San Diego, “some disgruntled person in my condo building slides a (always unsigned) note under my door declaring their fury at some minor offense. This is the latest.”
“For the record,” Sarah adds, “said pants were bright-pink Lilly Pulitzer circa 1985; put near a window to dry — I don’t trust my thrift shop purchases to just any dryer — and I think only added to the general festivity of July 4th as they fluttered in the cross breeze!”
related: Sentimental pants
Jeff in California was not too happy when a neighbor slapped this on his door. “I am a lover of vintage neon,” he says, “and do not drink Budweiser or hang out in dive bars.” (I’m guessing his neighbor didn’t catch the nuance.)
related: Tacky, you say?
This seems like a conversation you should probably have in person, no? I mean…ouch.
related: Dear Alex, GET OUT.
Our submitter spotted this twist on a well-worn trope in the Potrero Hill neighborhood of San Francisco.
related: Do you know these dogs???
An eye for an eye, I understand. But a flower for joint inflammation?
(Thanks to Sandra in Los Angeles for submitting!)
related: No, He uses Vaseline.