Many offices, it seems, are a regular Disneyland of what only appear to be inanimate objects. The evidence?

From Frank in San Francisco, a sentient sponge:

From Amy in Annapolis, Maryland, a talking toilet:

From Ben in San Antonio, Texas, a talking door:

And then there’s my favorite – from an anonymous submitter in Washington, D.C. – a talking (and walking) microwave:

(Most baffling…where on earth did that clip art come from?)

related: I guess that’s why

As we’ve seen this week, notes re: the neighbor’s constantly barking dog often end up being less passive-aggressive and more out-and-out aggressive. But as Matt noticed, this San Francisco resident was able to put a festive holiday spin on the old not-so-veiled threat.

related: Oh, the irony

Two heartwarming notes brimming with compassion and holiday cheer!

related: a holiday wish

Amber received this amazing note in an envelope on her doorstep in Sacramento. “I have no idea which neighbor sent this to me, but I can only assume it was the paranoid-looking woman who lives above me,” she says. “But I don’t do drugs. I don’t even smoke cigarettes!”

related: Don’t hate the playa

Casey from Shreveport, Louisiana spotted this on the Coke machine in the office break room. she clarifies: “Henry G.’s comment is in reference to the increase in price, not Katie’s wanting more Coke Zero.”

Meanwhile, Breanna in L.A. saw this somewhat amusing notice in a liquor store on the corner of Hollywood and Wine. (“Did someone pee on it?” she wonders.)

related: I’d like to buy the world a…Gatorade?

Our anonymous submitter in San Diego got this text message from a friend, explaining: “It’s in reference to him hooking up with one of my friends on my couch. He’s hooked up with three of my friends to date. It’s bound to get around, ya know?”

Adds our submitter: “There’s no safe way to respond to a passive-aggressive text, so I haven’t.”

related: Recipe for roommate discord

I love how the notewriter quickly abandons the initial pretense here, then completely throws in the towel with the last line.

Thanks to Adam in San Francisco for spotting this masterpiece!

Our anonymous submitter in California was having some issues with her roommates not washing their dishes. “It got so bad that I picked up what I thought was a black bowl…only to find it was white and covered in ants,” she says. When asked to clean up after themselves, the roommates responded with a note calling her a bitch. Then came this one — accompanied by someone peeing in her shampoo.

Adds our submitter: “I moved out not too long after that.”

related: This makes me want to scream