Entries Tagged as 'California'

Gee, thanks for the advice.

February 20th, 2013 · 66 Comments

Steve in Los Angeles says his dog has been having some separation anxiety, typically crying for about 30 minutes to an hour after Steve leaves for work. He recently found this oh-so-helpful advice taped to his front door. (His response: “WTF?!”)

Hello, I'm not sure if you're aware but your dog barks almost non stop when you're gone. He seems very unhappy. I had a similar problem but finally worked it out. Good luck.

Steve, just to put things in perspective, you might want to take a look at the Chicago approach:

To the inconsiderate asshole on the third floor who's dog won't shut the fuck up. If you don't start closing your window, the dog is gonna take a bullet. You've been warned.

related: My bite is work than your bark

Tags: "helpful" advice · Chicago · dogs · Los Angeles · neighbors · noise · warning

Do you hear the people sing?

February 18th, 2013 · 53 Comments

Cynthia in San Francisco says she was about to check the class schedule at her gym when she saw that their website was no longer operational. “There is so much YES going on here,” she says, of the screenshots she was able to grab. “I barely make it to the gym anyway and this is a great excuse to quit altogether. I’m more of a yoga person anyhow!”

Fitness SF preferred to ignore our invoices instead of paying them. As a result this website is no longer operational.

Fitness SF preferred to ignore our invoices instead of paying them. As a result this website is no longer operational.

related: The Mad Bomber

extra credit: Burger King Twitter Hacked, Turned into McDonalds [gizmodo.com]

Tags: gym · money · posted online · San Francisco

A Warning Chime

February 6th, 2013 · 118 Comments

Adriana in Playa Del Rey, California said her husband found this note from a non-wind chime enthusiast taped to their outside of their condo building. “I personally love all the exclamation points,” Adriana says — “especially the cheery ‘thanks!’ at the bottom.”

CHIMES. Third Floor Front Over the Garage. People have lived here 10-20 years but now have to hear your chimes all day and night! Take them down or we will get a class action lawsuit against you and the Homeowners association! We can't stand it anymore! Have consideration or we will see you in court and get a court order! Thanks!

related: Hello, 911? My neighbors are loud walkers!

Tags: California · neighbors · noise · not-so-veiled threats

How’s that for a group effort?

January 25th, 2013 · 57 Comments

Erin in Los Angeles says it all started with a simple “No staples, please.” Then the whole office got involved.

No Staples Please (picture of a stapler) paperwork on this show will be scanned

No Staples Please (picture of a stapler) paperwork on this show will be scanned No Papals Please (pictures of popes) No Staples Please (picture of the Staples Center) No Strapless Plese (picture of a strapless bra) No Naples Please (picture of Italy) No Staples Please (picture of food staples) Yes, PayPal Please.

No Marla Maples Please No Stables Please (picture of the nativity) No Capers Please (picture of the Great Muppet Caper)

No Gay Bulls Please (picture of bull in high heels with a boa) Yes, Draper Please! (Don Draper) No Biebers Please (Justin) No Stray Pills Please (Pills)

No Stray Pills Please. No Stay Pulls Please. No Scalpels Please

No Caples Please (faucet variety) No Steeples please No Pastels Please (Pastels is an anagram of Staples) No Pleats Please (same as pastels) Go Maple Leafs! No Staple Singers Please No Solid Gold Dancers Please

related: Death by a Thousand Puns

Tags: clip art catastrophe · Los Angeles · most popular notes of 2013 · note wars · office · smartass

The Craft Services DTs

January 16th, 2013 · 47 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in L.A. says this opus was posted at the kitchen of a production company working on a network television show…where at least two people seem to have too much time on their hands.

To the hilarious slob who left the mess in the kitchen, good one! Ha ha! LOL! However, I ask you, are you bored with your job? Do you not have enough to do? You must have some spare time as you seemed to have gone out of your way to make such a mess. Or, maybe you have too much to do, so much that you don't have the time to clean up. From either scenario, I can deduce that you likely have a time management problem. You need to dig deep down inside and determine the root of the problem.

related: Dear Desperate for Salad

Tags: cleaning · kitchen · Los Angeles · TL;DR

Yelp, indeed!

January 8th, 2013 · 56 Comments

Writes our submitter, “Bob L,” in California: “I posted a negative review on Yelp of a local business. Next time I came in, I saw this note posted on their bulletin board. Glad I didn’t use my real name!”

Bob L. From Yelp, When you grow up or grow a pair, you know where to find me! Unlike you, I don't hide behind the internet!!

related: “The bathrooms are the best thing about this restaurant.”

extra credit: Portlandia “Bad Yelp review” [youtube]

Tags: "customer service" · California · posted online

No, thank YOU, Boss Lady of 75

November 25th, 2012 · 38 Comments

This is just…a thing of beauty.

Do not disrespect my door by knockin and not callin. Before you knock on it! Call me before you knock.

related: You don’t mess with Bob Mess.

Tags: exclamation-point happy!!!! · knocking · Sacramento · so this is a thing? · that's disrespectful · unnecessary "quotation marks"

Teacher says, every time a bell rings…

November 20th, 2012 · 39 Comments

“There have been a lot of missionaries coming to our apartment building lately,” our submitter says, and apparently the occupants of Unit 307 have had enough of it. Adds our submitter: “I thought the Jesus Band-aids were a nice touch.”

Ringing this bell and/or knocking WILL result in signing your sell off to Satan. Blessings, #307

related: You will be CURSED if you wake my sleeping baby!

Tags: California · God · Jesus · knocking

Peed off.

November 1st, 2012 · 79 Comments

Writes Jenny in San Diego: “There are four of these identical laminated signs posted at face height around the tiny front lawn of a house in my neighborhood. The lawn actually would look fine if it weren’t for the rude signs.”

Keep your bitches from urinating on the lawn. They are killing the grass.

related post:
Caught in the act
DO YOU KNOW THESE DOGS??

Tags: dogs · neighbors · piss · San Diego

Who are you calling trash?

October 17th, 2012 · 46 Comments

Writes our submitter in California: “Our custodial staff is very careful about not throwing stuff away just because it looks like trash. This co-worker wanted to make sure the right things got thrown away, but might have gotten a little overly specific.”

The result? “An onion of confusion and garbage.”

Box is trash Trashcan in box is not trash (Trash in trashcan in box is trash)

related: Hey, that garbage was important!

Tags: California · garbage · office · Say wha?