Entries Tagged as 'California'

Just google it.

October 2nd, 2012 · 36 Comments

Heather in California says none of her colleagues will admit to writing this note, four copies of which showed up one day in the “very, very, small breakroom” at her office.

Dearest colleagues, Since non[e] of our Moms will be dropping around to clean up after us like they did when we were little kids; why not recap the p-nut butter, close the cracks and wipe up your crumbs before returning to work following break of lunch? Perhaps wetting a paper towel and wiping up your spills etc. etc.   Those of us who follow you into the break room would prefer not to have to clean-up your food remains so that we can have a clean neat environment in which to enjoy our breaks.   For detailed instructions on procedures to employ following making a mess, simply search GOOGLE for

P.S. As of today, the first page of search results for “activities of common courtesy and how to clean-up after finishing my break” includes a Wikipedia List of Breaking Bad characters.

related: This is in the way

Tags: California · cleaning · office · spelling and grammar police · You call that punctuation? · Your mother doesn't...

Mug Shot

September 12th, 2012 · 56 Comments

I’ll start with the moral of the story first: “It just goes to show you that passive aggressive notes are funny but not effective.” That observation comes courtesy of Janell in San Francisco, who admits that she penned the following note after her third coffee mug went missing from the office kitchen.

Explains Janell: “While a lot of people commented on the note, my mug never appeared. After six months passed, my boss bought me an identical mug just so I would take the note down. A year later, one of my co-workers quit. We found the mug in his office.”

Have You Seen This Mug? My Starbucks blue and white San Francisco mug was last seen on Friday morning, Jan. 21st in the Creative Services kitchen drain rack. The mug loves maple brown sugar oatmeal and attending morning meetings.  If found, please wash and return to the Creative Services kitchen drain rack. Mug, if you can read this, I miss you! Please come home soon.

related: Justice, with a side of fries

extra credit: The Anti-Theft “Plug Mug”

Tags: anthropomorphism · kitchen · office · San Francisco · stealing

Would you trust this guy around a table saw?

September 3rd, 2012 · 77 Comments

Recognizing its greatness, Kori in San Diego says her neighbor had this letter framed; it’s now held a place of honor in the garage for more than a decade.

The high school who was to get the sable-saw will not get this and other tools because of Your poor intelligence of not wearing something on your clothing letting people know that your [sic] are the CASHIER. By the way what is your I.Q.?

(Just click the photo to enlarge.)

related: Some advice on holding a Garage Sale

Tags: garage sale · guilt trip · high on highlighter · San Diego · spelling and grammar police · unsolicited feedback

Welcome to Los Angeles

June 28th, 2012 · 52 Comments

Writes Lesley in Los Angeles: “My friend owns a store in Downtown L.A., and he constantly gets people (mostly tourists) coming in to ask him where they can find a public restroom. I guess he finally got fed up.”

All bathroom info requests must be done in iambic pentameter. (Also, we don't know where any public restrooms are. Welcome to downtown Los Angeles.)

related: The town recommends you hold it.

Tags: Los Angeles · most popular notes of 2012 · retail hell · toilet · tourists

The rubbish is restless

June 24th, 2012 · 31 Comments

Several months from now, I’m guessing this exhibit will still be open for viewing under Mark’s desk in Los Angeles.

Hi Mark, I'm a random paper bag that has sat here for months. I need some exercise. Please walk me outside to a pretty trash can! —brown bag  I'm garbage. I go outside in trash can when I'm full. —Trash  Hi Mark, I'm all alone! Please put me with my friends in the trash can —Plastic Bottle  Hi Mark, Poor me! A lonely empty paper bag just wishing I could be in that other BIG BAG! Pretty please?!?!

related: Toy Story meets The Office

Tags: anthropomorphism · blitzkrieg approach · garbage · Los Angeles · office

Game of Thorns

June 20th, 2012 · 19 Comments

Dear Notewriter: Clearly, you’re not a scholar of Indian religious traditions, so just FYI: “Karma” doesn’t translate from the Sanskrit as “sword-wielding mercenary” or “the guy Liam Neeson played in Taken.”

To the asshole who stole my PLANTS: KARMA WILL FIND YOU AND IT WILL KILL YOU!

(Also, the Knight of Flowers is offended by your insinuations.)

Thanks to Hannah in Oakland for submitting!

related: The Orchid (and Daffodil, and Begonia) Thief

Tags: die bitch die · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · karma's a bitch · Oakland · stealing

Or I’ll call the cops, maybe?

June 18th, 2012 · 18 Comments

By the end of the summer, could Carly be the new Kanye of passive-aggressive notes? She does have the Beliebers behind her…

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but quit blocking out driveway asshat

related: A little bump and slide

extra credit: Best of the “Call Me Maybe” meme [buzzfeed]

Tags: most popular notes of 2012 · Oakland · parking

Or…how about no signs at all?

May 31st, 2012 · 37 Comments

Scoffs our submitter in Los Angeles: “Because as a healthy, functioning, adult, you really need to be reminded that you’re a good person for cleaning up after yourself.”

Can we put up any positive signs?

related: Three never-ending office arguments

Tags: Los Angeles · microwave · office · rebuttals

This bartender’s got your number

May 27th, 2012 · 47 Comments

Fun fact: according to a Pew Research report, 30% of young adults have pretended to be using their phone in order to avoid interacting with the people around them.

If you’re one of them, here’s a head’s up: Your awkward penguin moves aren’t gonna help you at Gestalt Haus in San Francisco.

If you are going to use the restroom without buying anything, don't pretend to get a phone call on the way out in order to avoid eye contact with the bartender. Thanks —MGMT

Adds our submitter, Carly: “Even though I bought plenty of beer while I was there, I still felt like I needed to make eye contact with the bartender when coming out of the pisser. And that gets a little awkward after a while.”

related: Drip-dry only, ladies

Tags: bar · most popular notes of 2012 · oh snap · San Francisco · toilet

I judge you as fat

May 21st, 2012 · 220 Comments

Eerac and I met up in Barcelona last week, where we climbed lots and lots of stairs. The one time we didn’t, of course, the Metro station totally called us out.

Barcelona

Eric and I are still climbing stairs (now in Poland and Portugal, respectively), where we haven’t yet seen any similar signs. Back in the States, however, Christine in L.A. spotted this rather harsh version in the elevator of a 7-story university residence hall.

I judge you as FAT when you take the elevator from the lobby to floors 2 and 3* Take the STAIRS! You NEED it! *Unless you're injured or carrying heavy shit or in a wheelchair.

related: Buffalo, please use the elevator

Tags: elevator · hey fatty · Los Angeles · most popular notes of 2012 · way harsh