I don’t really want to know what “cigarette ashes” is supposed to mean in this context…

…but hey, look what I found on the Internets!

related: Your “Brown Friends”

From the NON-public restroom inside a deli in Bishop, California:

related: “If it wasn’t for the toilet, there would be no books.”

Moira and some friends recently rented a flat in Rome for a few days — lucky her, right? The only hitch to the plan was the fact their apartment was located on the very top floor, and while Rome might be the “The Eternal City,” spending eternity in a European-style elevator car wasn’t exactly the experience they were seeking.

Meanwhile, if you thought you weren’t afraid of elevators, a visit to the Hampton Inn in Burbank, California might change your mind. This placard inside the elevator (as documented by Kristen from Ohio), has got to be the least-reassuring attempt at preventing alarm I’ve ever seen. The fact that it manages to accomplish the exact opposite of its implied purpose makes me think the person behind it must be some kind of sadistic savant…and that he’s DEFINITELY watching you on the CCTV.

Not the anxious type? Well, how do you feel about dog shit and zombies? So far Kareen in Winnipeg has escaped this particular elevator unharmed, but that doesn’t mean she’s not watching where she steps.

related: Elevator nose grease

extra credit: “The Subway’s Elevator Operators, a Reassuring Amenity of Another Era” [nytimes.com]

extra extra credit: Time lapse video of a man stuck in an elevator for 41 hours [newyorker.com]

Writes Kris from Texas: “As much as I despise the writing-a-note-from-the-POV-of-an-inanimate-object technique so familiar from my years in college, I have to feel this bike owner’s pain. I also really love the blood-gushing-from-the bike drawing.”

related: With a chainsaw?

Hannah spotted this gem above the sink of dirty dishes in her San Francisco office.

related: May the sanctity of the sink prevail!!

Dear Monterey Aquarium Staff: Our submitter, Kevin from Napa, would like to suggest that you consider revising the phrasing of your photography policy. (Unless this type of thing is what you’re trying to avoid.)

Adds Kevin: “I don’t know which is more juvenile: thinking this sign was funny, or trying to pretend that it’s not.”

Okay, is it Friday yet?

related: Our last octopus died from overexposure.

So, like, “our friend got really drunk and stayed in our room, but when she got up to pee, she opened up the door to our suitemate’s room instead of the bathroom and peed on the rug,” writes our submitter in California. “It was apparently his favorite rug and since he’s spoiled, he asked her to get him a new one.”

Um, okay. “Spoiled,” or not, I’m gonna have to side with the dude here. Offering to clean/replace the rug seems like the very least Drunky McDrunkface could do, no?

related: You’re not wrong, Walter.

Kate in Los Angeles likened this office post-it pile-on to “the Toy Story of the office kitchen — when you’re away, all of the inanimate objects start talking.”

So…Dreamworks, Pixar — let’s talk options, shall we? (“It’s Toy Story meets The Office — a guaranteed hit in all four quadrants!)

related: The paper towels want a voice in where they live, okay?