Entries Tagged as 'California'
In one of my clearest memories of first grade, I distinctly remember my teacher telling us, on the first day of school, that the bathroom in the back of the classroom was only for emergencies. For non-emergencies, we’d have to wait until lunchtime. In my six-year-old mind, however, “emergency” meant only one thing: “throwing up.” And so, when I had to go, I held it. And held it. Until…well, I wasn’t holding it anymore.
That’s right: It actually took wetting my pants for me to learn that the word “emergency” means very different things to different people — a concept some people apparently still haven’t figured out.
It’s unclear, for example, what might constitute a “citrus emergency” at this Pleasanton, California optometrist’s office. (Perhaps a masochistic mandarin peeling itself?)
You might think people would be a little more precise in their language on a military base. At Arizona’s Fort Huachuca, you’d only be about half right.
At Gustavo’s new office building in Seattle, it only took about a week — and about a bazillion false alarms— before someone decided a little clarification was necessary. (Sorta sounds like something you’d expect from a classroom of first-graders, no?)
Meanwhile, Andrew in Cirencester, England only noticed this sign after pushing open one of his office’s alarmed fire doors (triggering a sudden and unforeseen occurrence — i.e., ear-shattering noise).
related: Gee, thanks for the clarification
Tags: Arizona · California · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · obnoxious definition · office · Seattle · U.K. · WTF?
These notes — the first from on office in California, the second from an office in Arkansas — both seem like they’re following the same not-quite-finished flowchart for acceptable office paper usage.
Really, you’re in for a scolding no matter what. And as our submitter Hannah noticed — in this bizarre exchange from the copy room at a school in Spartanburg, South Carolina — contrition only seems to further incense the office Paper Nazis.
related: Nothing fosters community like shared networked printers!
Tags: Arkansas · California · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office · recycling · South Carolina
Hey, look — it’s almost the entire 12-step program in one note! I especially like the abridged version: “To the idiot who stole: the world is your oyster.”
related: Is your washroom breeding Bolsheviks?
Tags: "helpful" advice · heart · Orange County · stealing · TL;DR · toilet paper
When Sal spotted this notice at an athletic clothing store in San Diego, he says that while he couldn’t quite picture how a tissue would get the job done in this situation — not to mention how this policy came to be — “I figured it was best not to ask questions.”
Meanwhile, when I first read this sign — from a club in Vancouver — my first thought was, “Well, that seems like a reasonable enough request.” Our submitter, Cherisse, begs to differ. “Sadly, there is no bathroom backstage,” she explains, ” wnd when a girl’s gotta go, sometimes the other end of the club is a long ways a way.” She adds: “If it wasn’t for the used paper towels being left outside, no one ever would have known.”
So… like Sal, I’m gonna say it’s probably best not to ask too many questions about this one.
related: “Who leaves their panties in the bathroom at work? Who does that?”
Tags: actually totally reasonable · bold-underlined-caps · hygiene · piss · retail hell · San Diego · Vancouver · WTF?
Spotted by Kelly at gas station somewhere between Los Angeles and Monterey, California: a prime example of why notewriters (and corporations) cannot live on spell-check alone.
related: Stupid is as stuiped does
Tags: California · Clearly a non-native English speaker · gas station · irregular capitalization · spelling and grammar police · toilet · You call that punctuation?
One reason that notes of the do this/move this/clean this variety inspire so much ire among recipients is the fact that, more often than not, writing the note probably took more time and effort than it would have for the writer to just do/move/clean it themselves. (But of course, to the martyrs in the office, it’s always about the principle of the thing.) Office kitchens seem to be ground zero for this particular type of pettiness.
At Jacqueline’s workplace in San Francisco, for example, “someone left a clean mug on an empty counter” — an offense that was apparently too grave for one coworker to let slide without comment.
Meanwhile, in Ohio, our anonymous submitter came into work one morning to see this note “on a table with maybe two crumbs on it.” Her solution? “I took the picture, put the cleaning supplies away, and moved the note. Later, I was thanked for cleaning the table.”
related: BAD SALAMI!
Tags: a little uptight · cleaning · office · Ohio · San Francisco
A friend of Kent in San Diego lives in an unincorporated part of the country where raising backyard chickens is legal, despite how his neighbors might feel about it. And if this anonymous note is any indication, those neighbors’ feelings aren’t exactly baby-chick warm ‘n’ fuzzy. (But of course, there’s no way it’s passive-aggressive. Just neighborly concern. After all, it’s all about the children!!!)
related: My neighbor starves his cows!
extra credit: Urban chicken farming — a burgeoning fake trend [Slate.com]
Tags: horses, cows, & chickens · neighbors · noise · San Diego
If you had to pinpoint exactly what’s wrong with America, what would you say? Out-of-control debt? Oil-slicked beaches? The KFC double-down?
Well, you’re wrong. All wrong! Luckily, we have Leia in College Station, Texas and Sarah in Ocean Beach, California to spread the word about the real issue plaguing the nation: people leaving stuff places.
Actually, I take that all back. This might actually be what’s wrong with America today. Happy July 4th, everyone!
related: Do you hate America?
Tags: California · irregular capitalization · misplaced patriotism · Texas
Hey, here’s some advice! If you’re looking to improve your relationships with your roommates, communicating through the erasable whiteboard might not be the most effective way to go.
(Above, from a sorority house in L.A.; below, from a shared apartment in Chicago.)
related: Facebook, another poor medium for mediating roommate disputes
Tags: Chicago · Los Angeles · roommates · sorority girls · whiteboard
Jane in Boston says this note appeared on Tomio’s bedroom door, at cat’s-eye level. “Given that I’m pretty sure cats can’t read, it’s the ultimate passive-aggressive sentiment,” Jane says, “but a cat shitting on your bed is pretty passive aggressive, too. What a tangled web we weave.”
Meanwhile, a submitter in Cornwall, England spotted this note (again, at pet’s-eye level) on the front door of a house. “It was unclear what the dog had done, how the notewriter expected the dog to read this, or how ‘Diane’ was filming the dog,” our submitter says. “There was no sign of a camera.”
And yet, it’s this commandment —posted by a neighbor of Marissa in San Francisco — that tickles me the most.
UPDATE: A bonus note (via Anthonio in Seattle), from…Dirt.
related: Excuse me, sir? I think you’ve dropped something.
Tags: Boston · cats · dogs · most popular notes of 2010 · San Francisco · Seattle · shit · signed with love · U.K. · you know who you are