Entries Tagged as 'Sacramento'

No, thank YOU, Boss Lady of 75

November 25th, 2012 · 38 Comments

This is just…a thing of beauty.

Do not disrespect my door by knockin and not callin. Before you knock on it! Call me before you knock.

related: You don’t mess with Bob Mess.

Tags: exclamation-point happy!!!! · knocking · Sacramento · so this is a thing? · that's disrespectful · unnecessary "quotation marks"

Best wishes, godless heathens!

October 27th, 2010 · 94 Comments

Although at first glance this card might seem pretty harmless, our submitter in Sacramento says she’s had enough experience with her new husband’s ultra-religious cousins to be able to read between the lines. (Just add “…before you’re both condemned to eternal damnation” to the end of the last sentence and you’ll get the idea.)

Though we were saddened that you didn't marry in the church we are still happy for you. May God guide you in your new life together. May you have many years of wedding [sic] bliss.

Adds our bristling bride: “I felt like telling her she could keep her $50 and her guilt trip, too, but decided I would have my revenge by having a long, happy, secular marriage instead.”

related: Waiting for the Rapture (and/or a thank you note)

extra credit: the front of the card

Tags: family · Jesus · love & marriage · Sacramento · signed with love

Passive (voice) abuse

December 17th, 2007 · 155 Comments

Amber received this amazing note in an envelope on her doorstep in Sacramento. “I have no idea which neighbor sent this to me, but I can only assume it was the paranoid-looking woman who lives above me,” she says. “But I don’t do drugs. I don’t even smoke cigarettes!”

I suspect illicit drug use

related: Don’t hate the playa

Tags: a little uptight · drugs · holiday spirit · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · odor · passive voice · Sacramento

Sophisticated dryers use silverware when they eat your socks

September 19th, 2007 · 151 Comments

Our anonymous submitter spotted this note on a resident’s door in an apartment complex in Portland, oregon. Oddly, she says, this resident lives alone.
Now I realize that you may have temporarily lost your conscious sense of things, however, please return my socks and my large spoon with the silver end. Thank you

Meanwhile, James’s roommate found in the laundry room of his Sacramento apartment complex.

Thank you got taking (stealing) my towel and dryer sheets! Because of YOU I will never feel comfortable doing my laundry - I don't know if you are going to steal my clothes. YOU SUCK.

Tags: excessive underlining · laundry · neighbors · Portland · Sacramento · spoons · stealing · thanks (but not really)

There’s a bedroom behind this wall

June 11th, 2007 · 15 Comments

Robert in Sacramento found this one on the wall of his apartment building’s laundry room. Says Robert: “On the surface, I don’t think this sign is too bad. The underlining of “time” and the “thanks a lot!!” at the end push it over the top for me.”

Please Be Considerate of the TIME you do laundry. There's a bedroom behind this door. Thanks a lot!!

Tags: California · laundry · neighbors · Sacramento