When Shelby‘s third-grade son was having trouble with his homework assignment (two paragraphs of creative writing a day), her suggestion was to just write about what came to mind first. As she realized later when she found the page in a stack of old school work: “He did not hold back.”

related: “Drunk Mommy”

extra credit: “Don’t Write What You Know” [theAtlantic.com]

When Sal spotted this notice at an athletic clothing store in San Diego, he says that while he couldn’t quite picture how a tissue would get the job done in this situation — not to mention how this policy came to be —  “I figured it was best not to ask questions.”

Meanwhile, when I first read this sign — from a club in Vancouver — my first thought was, “Well, that seems like a reasonable enough request.” Our submitter, Cherisse, begs to differ. “Sadly, there is no bathroom backstage,” she explains, ” wnd when a girl’s gotta go, sometimes the other end of the club is a long ways a way.” She adds: “If it wasn’t for the used paper towels being left outside, no one ever would have known.”

So… like Sal, I’m gonna say it’s probably best not to ask too many questions about this one.

related: “Who leaves their panties in the bathroom at work?  Who does that?”

A friend of Kent in San Diego lives in an unincorporated part of the country where raising backyard chickens is legal, despite how his neighbors might feel about it. And if this anonymous note is any indication, those neighbors’ feelings aren’t exactly baby-chick warm ‘n’ fuzzy. (But of course, there’s no way it’s passive-aggressive. Just neighborly concern. After all, it’s all about the children!!!)

related: My neighbor starves his cows!

extra credit: Urban chicken farming — a burgeoning fake trend [Slate.com]

So, Brandon in San Diego had a party, and apparently people stayed out pretty late playing beer pong in the yard — a yard which happens to be just outside the bedroom window of the neighbors, an older couple in their 70s. The morning after, our submitter Mallory says, Brandon woke up to find this taped to his front door.

Final score: Brandon, o. Sweet little old lady, EPIC WIN!

related: My condolences on your birthday

Sure, Redbox and Netflix may have been the death of their former stomping grounds. Yet as Erin in San Diego noticed while shopping for DVDs at her local Best Buy, at least one of those condescending cinephiles has condescended to grace us with her presence (and her oh-so-artistic ampersands?) in big-box land.

Meanwhile, as Ali noticed, a Blockbuster in Calgary seems to be having similar HR problems.

related: Do we look like the kind of store that sells “I just called to say I love you”?

“Our office manager was upset that people weren’t responding promptly enough to the Christmas party invitation,” says our submitter in San Diego.

In keeping with the holiday spirit of things, the office manager  apparently channeled that anger into the posting of this (uncredited) About.com excerpt in the office kitchen, for the edification of all. How that’s for savoir faire?

related: an evening of congenial abnormality

Exhibit a) The “urban” example, from the Silver Lake neighborhood of L.A…

Exhibit b) The equally ineffectual suburban cousin of exhibit a, from “a quiet, small community in San Diego where the residents are basically all over 50.”

related: bleak house

Evan in San Diego spotted this bilingual warning in a local thrift store. “I particularly enjoy the vaguely racist implication of the Spanish translation,” Evan adds. “It’s the only sign in the store (among dozens) that’s en espanol.”

related: When nature calls

Casey in Human Resources may have moved on, but not to worry — Thx Sandra is here to solve our global climate crysis!

related: It takes a “genius”