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Entries Tagged as 'San Francisco'

A “sincere” apology

May 7th, 2009 · 371 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter in San Francisco: “I spotted this on the sidewalk on my way to work. (It wasn’t obviously attached to anything, just laying there.)  I realize parking in SF is a real nightmare, with driveways every .03 inches, but come on!

Sincerely, your hardworking neighbor

related: How Berkeley

Tags: car · parking · San Francisco · sarcasm

The more the messier

April 30th, 2009 · 218 Comments

Presumably, writes Chris in San Francisco, the note-writer “figured that if she didn’t put a note on all each offending bag, someone was going to feel left out.”

Please put your name on your Bags or they will be tossed! Many of the bags are left with rotting fruit and molded plastic containers. Thank you.

Please put your name on your Bags or they will be tossed! Many of the bags are left with rotting fruit and molded plastic containers. Thank you.

Adds Chris: “Admittedly, the Kashi cereal box in the back has been there for over two years.  I leave it just as an experiment in human behavior, but apparently somebody had had enough.”

related: A sign (or ten) that your HR department might have too much time on their hands

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · office fridge · San Francisco

More notes white (yuppie-ish) people leave

March 30th, 2009 · 247 Comments

Quelle horreur!  “A good week after using my roommate’s microplane to grate parmesan, this note showed up on the fridge whiteboard,” writes Tori in (where else?) San Francisco. “Apparently microplanes are for ZESTING ONLY!”

Microplane zester is not a cheese grater.

(unless, of course, it’s a microplane zester/grater.)

related: notes white people leave

Tags: "helpful" advice · kitchen · roommates · San Francisco · whiteboard

The ripped-off tabs are what get me

March 18th, 2009 · 154 Comments

Veronica spotted this gloriously expressive exercise in futility stapled to a telephone pole near her home in San Francisco. I totally forgive the double p in “apartment,” because dude,  I know exactly how you feel.

Also, the idea of someone ripping off one of those tabs and going, “Why yes, I will fuck myself!” is just really tickling me right now.

FUCK YOU You stole our laptops from our appartment [sic], but I'm sure you needed them all, right? The pillow case you took them in, keep it. But the laptops, come on. What a fucking jerk.

related: untitled (broken glass)

Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · San Francisco · stealing

Really though — carnations?

March 9th, 2009 · 143 Comments

So, Kevin in san francisco says his friend’s roommate went on three “hang out at a bar” dates with this guy from France. After the third date — in admirably straightforward fashion — he told Frenchie it wasn’t wasn’t working out and he didn’t want to see him anymore. (You know, the old “it’s not me, it’s you” routine.)

Unfortunately for them both, le bachelor did not take le hint. Instead, Kevin says, he showed up at his would-be lover’s house and paced back and forth outside the door for an hour while sending creepy text messages. “He finally left, but not without leaving a bouquet of red carnations on the hood of the car with this note attached.”

Please understand I LOVE YOU AND CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH THAT

related: He’s just not that into unicorns

Tags: lOWERCASE l · San Francisco · spurned lover

Sausage-shaped, but lumpy

January 20th, 2009 · 131 Comments

Tom took notice of this “open letter” — a thoughtful missive that clearly merits our collective attention — on a telephone pole in San Francisco.

If we’re really lucky, perhaps this Richard Asshat character will grace us with an open response in the comments, whiteblizzard70-style!

An open letter to the asshat who uses Osgood Place as their own personal shitting grounds

An open letter (close up)

an open letter (close up)

(Note: For your further enrichment, here’s a less faded graphic of the bristol stool scale.)

related: when ph.d.s get angry
extra credit: mcsweeney’s open letters

Tags: dogs · San Francisco · shit · visual aids

Thx for your honesty

November 27th, 2008 · 83 Comments

Happy Thxgiving, everyone!

If you can't cook DON'T TRY

related: It takes a “genius” to come up with a potluck theme like this one

Tags: holiday spirit · office · party planning committee · San Francisco · Thanksgiving

A little bit of shameless gloating

November 5th, 2008 · 69 Comments

About about a year ago, Coco says, “while visiting home (Charleston — South Carolina’s lone bastion of remote liberalism) — I left my ‘Is it 2008 yet?’ sticker-adorned car in San Francisco’s Outer Richmond district for friends to babysit.

Upon my return, my friend presented me with this note, which had been left on my windshield. I would expect this in Charleston, but in San Francisco?  I blame the patrons of the golf course my car was parked next to.”

No Asshole. It is not 2008 yet. And you liberal cruds will lose then as well. Look at the idiots that you've elected (Clinton, Reid, Pelosi, Boxer, Kennedy, etc.). Clearly you have no shame - and no brains. Note also that a new administration takes office in 2009

related: When mavericks attack

Herbie goes to Washington

Tags: California · parking · politics · San Francisco · unsolicited feedback

The Man™: now available in convenient mini-me size!

October 16th, 2008 · 95 Comments

Our submitter, B., was shopping at a shoe store in San Francisco when she realized she really needed to use the facilities. Although there was no public restroom in sight, she did spy the familiar infographic just beyond a doorway marked “employees only.” When she ducked inside, B. was greeted by this sublimely creepy warning from management[!].

If you are in the bathroom longer than 15 minutes, It will be considered your break. Don't make us get a timer! Thank You, Management!

Meanwhile, Chelsea’s boss at the La Quinta in Perrysburg, Ohio managed to dial up the creepy just a smidge more.

Apparently disatisfied with the staff’s response to her frequent written notes, the hotel manager brought in this doll — which chelsea says “looked exactly like her” — to do the job instead. (Er, so to speak.)

I'm watching YOU

related: So many questions

Tags: big brother-ish · crazy boss · now that's management · Ohio · retail hell · San Francisco

When mavericks attack

October 15th, 2008 · 132 Comments

Joe Six-Pack in San Francisco never actually got this note, because our own passive-aggressive pit bull secondsout swiped it from under his windshield wiper. Again, my understanding is that he recused himself,  but I don’t want to talk about that: I’d like to talk about energy.

If you don't know how to operate your gas-guzzling piece of shit SUV without parking up someone else's ass, they you need to get a different car. Signed, Sarah Palin

And also, too, under the umbrella of job creation, therefore:

PALIN HATE POLAR BEAR

related: Herbie goes to Washington

Tags: parking · politics · San Francisco