Entries Tagged as 'Boulder'

Soda stealers are the lowest forms of life!

November 22nd, 2011 · 66 Comments

The subtle version (from Denver, Colorado):

If you change your mind from water to soft drink, we will gladly assist you at the register.

And the not-so-subtle version (spotted by Ariana in Boulder, Colorado):

FREE REFILLS if you purchase a soda at the cash register, otherwise... ATTENTION: Soda stealers are the lowest form of life! If we catch you, we will break you down mentally and ridicule you in front of your friends. FAIR WARNING: Stop Stealing Soda. -Sorry - Deb

related: Is it really worth $1.59 to spend eternity in one of the lower kingdoms?

extra credit: Coke, Sprite, or Ice-T

Tags: beverages · Boulder · Colorado · Denver · restaurant · stealing

And what’s your Christmas wish?

December 20th, 2007 · 105 Comments

Two heartwarming notes brimming with compassion and holiday cheer!

If you're found sleeping on this porch, we will not disturb you or ask you to leave...we'll just call the police and have them haul your homeless ass away...so find somewhere else to sleep and piss

If you dog continues to bark past midnight, I will break into your home, steal it, and feed the little fucker to the homeless on Pearl Street. Happy Holidays

related: a holiday wish

Tags: Boulder · Christmas · dogs · heartwarming compassion · holiday spirit · Los Angeles · piss · pleasantries as afterthought · the homeless