Entries Tagged as 'Colorado'
Many months ago, one of our submitter’s coworkers decided to fortify the entire office freezer with family-sized bricks of monosodium glutamate.
(Was there an amazing “buy 20, get one free” special at Wal-Mart? Is someone filming a processed-foods version of Super Size Me? Or just stocking up for the End Times?) Whatever the reason, this person made very clear (via post-it note) that these frozen delights were not for general consumption, thanks.
Finally, after months had gone by with no obvious signs of attrition on the Banquet line, another coworker decided to add a defiant note of protest (which in turn spurred a third note, from the office smartass.) Sadly, the real question (FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS FROZEN — WHY????) remains unanswered.
related: Please remove the rabbit carcasses from this freezer
Tags: Colorado · food · office fridge · rebuttals · stealing
From Stacey in Jacksonville, Florida: the blitzkrieg approach to ongoing breakroom disorder.
And from Englewood, Colorado…the passive-aggressive approach:
Tags: blitzkrieg approach · cleaning · coffee · Colorado · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Florida · heart · It's science! · Jacksonville · office · spoons
Okay, dude, I really don’t want to kick you while you’re down — getting your scooter stolen definitely sucks. (Also, based on the rage level in your note, I think you’d probably kick back pretty hard.) And yet…I’m not really buying your framing of this as some kind of public service announcement.
For one thing, I’m guessing that if you took a poll of your neighbors (including Alex, our submitter) and asked, “Hey, did you know that if you leave your personal property in this alley, it could get stolen?!” I’m pretty sure most would respond with someone along the lines of, “Uh, no shit.” Just sayin’.
related: Paintball punk is playing at my house (my house)
Tags: Denver · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · not so much passive-aggressive · scooters & mopeds · stealing
I think this has got to be my new favorite (unintentional) twist on the old “your mother doesn’t work here” trope. So congratulations, overbearing office manager! The three hours of company time you spent searching for just the right clip art — not to mention your charmingly cavalier disregard for spell-check — did not go unappreciated!
P.S. I promise, from now on, I will be sure to always clean and scrub the delicious Italian rice balls so graciously provided by the Phantom Mammas infiltrating our kitchen.
related: Yo momma doesn’t work here (or here, or here, or here)
Tags: bold-underlined-caps · cleaning · clip art catastrophe · Denver · dishwasher · irregular capitalization · kitchen · Your mother doesn't...
Our submitter and his wife in Loveland, Colorado used to work the night shift together, and they’d generally get home around 3 or 4 in the morning. “We did try our best to keep quiet,” our submitter says…but apparently their best wasn’t good enough for one of their neighbors. They never actually met this particular neighbor, but they did find this note on their door one night.
This note appears to be the work of the a non-native English speaker, so it’s not the grammar here that I’d like to draw attention to. Actually, what impressed me is what a perfectly clear picture this note paints of the writer’s mental state. ”I CAN HEAR YOU IN MY MIND!!!!!!” — complete with the six trailing exclamation points — does that not just say it all?
related: euphemisms of disturb
Tags: Colorado · exclamation-point happy!!!! · neighbors · noise · spelling and grammar police · to/too
Kit from Austin spotted this vigilante service vehicle during a road trip through Colorado…
And although the photo below was taken in Toronto, I’d like to imagine the message was scrawled in lipstick by a frustrated passenger just before passing the car above.
related: Smug Alert
Tags: car · Colorado · spelling and grammar police · your/you're
“Personally, I think all places should post this sign,” says Molly in Los Angeles.
These days, it appears a lot of cash register-operators agree with Molly (and the fancy shop in Studio City where she buys her cheese).
To wit: exhibit a, from Betsey in Sumter, S.C.
Exhibit b) spotted by Otto at a sandwich shop in Frisco, Colorado
And so on and so forth.
But I’d like to draw your attention to this piece, spotted by Jenna at a Pathmark pharmacy in Bayshore, New York, as a true masterpiece of the genre. With just a few carefully crafted words, it transforms this common sentiment into the ultimate in shame-inducing passive-aggression.
related: Top five musical crimes perpetrated by record store customers in the 90s and 2000s
Tags: "customer service" · actually totally reasonable · California · cell phone · Colorado · etiquette · most popular notes of 2010 · New York · oh snap · South Carolina
This note, from Michelle in Denver, displays the remarkable lengths that some people will go to avoid confrontation.
“This bright-green gem wasn’t the only priceless thing visible,” Michelle says. “On the cubicle wall closest to the refrigerators was a camera…and it was actually connected to the computer and recording a live feed. This is why you don’t steal from the fridge when you work for a multimedia corporation!”
related: ABP on the V8
Tags: Denver · food · have a nice day · message to all intended for one · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · smiley
Two target customers for Lisa Frank’s new line of movie tie-in stickers — coming soon to the Hot Topic/Urban Outfitters near you!
(Above, from Colorado. Below, from California.)
related: Do not kiss on someone else’s kiss
extra credit: The legend of Casey™ and Caymus™
Tags: California · college life · Colorado · heart · nice stationery · rainbow-colored · sig o · signed with love · spurned lover
Passed along by the unfortunate hacker in question from Littleton, Colorado…
related: Stay home!!!
Tags: Colorado · e-mail · heartwarming compassion · illness · noise · office · oh no you didn't