Entries Tagged as 'D.C.'
As Rick in Tennessee can attest, sharing a fridge with more than two unrelated roommates can get tricky — even in the rare event that everyone manages to keep their paws to themselves. The upside? “While there’s no space in the fridge for food, I’ll never have to worry about running out of condiments.”
Meanwhile, in Washington…
related: Crying over sour milk
Tags: D.C. · fridge · roommates · Tennessee
To Washington, D.C….
…it seems like one thing everyone can agree on is the total obsolescence of print media.
related: Love, apt. #3
Tags: Australia · Canberra · D.C. · newspaper · pleasantries as afterthought
Terri in D.C. found this sign-bedecked scooter outside her apartment hilarious for three reasons. First off, “the fact that one of those little squirrely-looking scooter guys got out his most aggressive art supply and wrote ‘fuck off and die’ to a stranger.”
Second, she says: “I live between two churches, a library, an elementary school, and a high school. Classy place to curse at passersby!” And the best part, says Terri? “The neighborhood I live in in D.C. is named Mount Pleasant.”
related: Nice try
Tags: blitzkrieg approach · D.C. · die bitch die · irregular capitalization · questionable logic · scooters & mopeds · stealing
“It seems too many people have made love to the office water cooler,” says Lizzy in New York. And some of them, it seems, are getting a little sloppy.
Lizzy says the “Office of Water” thing refers to the fact that “Our office is full of water. Like, the fridge doesn’t have anything but bottled water and Coke,” but I’m not quite buying it. I’d like to think this came from the EPA’s official Office of Water (Benjamin H. Grumbles, assistant administrator).
Tags: CAPS LOCK · D.C. · double-entendre alert · New York · obnoxious definition · office · questionable logic · spelling and grammar police · that's unsanitary · water
From an anonymous heathen in Washington, D.C.:
related: It must have been a pretty big bite
Tags: bold underlined italics · D.C. · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · neighbors · obnoxious definition · smoking · spelling and grammar police · spitting
At the Washington restaurant where Scott works, a customer recently informed one of his coworkers that when she was a waitress back in the day, tips were regarded as a luxury (a sentiment that’s been echoed by many commenters on this site).
Thrilled as she was by this little history lesson, Scott’s coworker decided a little present-day tutorial was only fair. Says Scott: “She retrieved her most recent paycheck (zero dollars and zero cents…in D.C., servers make $2.77 an hour, which all goes to taxes), wrote a little note, and dropped it on the table after they had paid their check.”
related: This is why your server is cranky
Tags: D.C. · restaurant · tipping
Many offices, it seems, are a regular Disneyland of what only appear to be inanimate objects. The evidence?
From Frank in San Francisco, a sentient sponge:
From Amy in Annapolis, Maryland, a talking toilet:
From Ben in San Antonio, Texas, a talking door:
And then there’s my favorite – from an anonymous submitter in Washington, D.C. – a talking (and walking) microwave:
(Most baffling…where on earth did that clip art come from?)
related: I guess that’s why
Tags: Annapolis · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · clip art catastrophe · confusion??? · D.C. · irregular capitalization · Maryland · microwave · opening/closing · San Antonio · San Francisco · Texas · toilet
“We really don’t hate the holidays,” says our anonymous foreign-policy elf in Washington, D.C., “just passive-aggressive coworkers.”
related: Perhaps a committee to assess the health of the committee?
Tags: D.C. · e-mail · holiday spirit · money · office · party planning committee · spelling and grammar police
Tourist traps have the best signs. More proof? This exercise in subtlety is from Provincetown, Mass., where it was spotted by intrepid vacationer Teresa from Boise.
Exhibit b) is from Washington, D.C., in a store Sam says sold “all sorts of crap, from Nixon and Michael Jackson pins to African drums and sweaters.”
And in Las Vegas, even “the ice cream of the future” doesn’t get a special exemption.
Tags: beverages · blitzkrieg approach · Cape Cod · CAPS LOCK · D.C. · food · ice cream · Massachusetts · questionable logic · smoking · tourists
“The Healthy Companies Committee,” explains Katherine in D.C., is the name of the office pep squad led by the sender of the e-mail. (“Ironically,” she adds, “he does not seem to be able to deal with his frustration in a ‘healthy’ way.”)
The hilarity of this note is more subtle than say, a “Thank you Terry,” but don’t be fooled: it’s not your garden-variety “do your dishes” note, either. (Pay particular attention to paragraphs one and four.) It’s like something straight out of a script from The Office.
Don’t you wish you could read the earlier drafts?
Tags: comma diarrhea · confusion??? · D.C. · dishes · dishwasher · e-mail · exclamation-point happy!!!! · not-so-veiled threats · office · questionable logic · royal we · spelling and grammar police