If you work in an office that supplies your cream and sugar needs gratis, consider yourself lucky. There’s something about coffee creamer that sends folks off the deep end…

P.S. If you’ve thought of a different tactic, it’s probably been tried before.

related: Coffee, mate?

Spotted (and Instagram’d) by Cecilia in Pensacola, Florida:

related: Scat, fat cat!

extra credit: Chase No Face

Welcome to the set of Mean Girls: Orlando!

The initial note:

And the response…

related:  Oh sweetie, I love it when you talk dirty!

New Year’s Eve, Miami, 2010: “A man handed me this and then walked away without a word,” our submitter recalls. “I was tipsy enough to be flattered for a moment.”

related: A critique of your online dating profile

extra credit: “The Most Beautiful Girl (In the Room)” [youtube.com]

Tina in Jacksonville, Florida was in the process of moving out of her current apartment — apparently not a moment too soon — when she spotted this note on the door of her downstairs’ neighbor.

I’m not sure which is more disturbing: the content of this note (as best as I can follow it) or the truly sic spelling and punctuation. Altogether, it just kinda freaks me out.

So thanks, Tina, for giving me another reason to avoid what is probably my least-favorite state. (Not that I don’t cherish my time with you in Clearwater, Grandma Cookie!!!)

related: If it’s on Jersey Shore, it’s not coming through the door

Two words: Team Fletcher!

related: Facebook is for frenemies

Maya in the U.K. spotted this magnanimous display on a garden wall on her way home, in a neighborhood “that must be simply full of hundreds of passive-aggressive middle class Brits.” Says Maya: ”I was tempted to steal the daffodils myself, but refrained.”

Meanwhile, Greg’s neighbor in Washington, D.C. decided to go with even an more straight-ahead guilt-trippy approach.

Lastly, Fern spotted this scarily upbeat FYI while vacationing in Key West, Florida. (Adds Fern: “We think the flower just died.”)

related:  Three cities where nature-lovers might want to keep their hands to themselves

P.S. Before settling for a ho-hum Susan Orleans reference, I must admit that when writing this post, I tried — and failed — to come up with an worthy Wordworths-riffing title. In light of my lack of inspiration, I was especially delighted by this bit of brilliance from shwo! in the comments section:

I wandered slyly as a thief
Who flows on low o’er gutter spills,
When all at once I saw a leaf,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the porch, beneath the trees,
I think I will be stealing these.

I kinda love the snottiness of this bar’s dress code, mostly because of how perfectly it allows me to envision the nightlife scene in Tampa, Florida, where Kim spotted this notice. (Essentially, a whole lotta Jon Gosselin-type-wannabes?)

Meanwhile, Holly’s friend Jess snapped this picture of the new dress code at a college-town bar in Ohio. “I’m guessing the boss is not a fan of the frat kids,” says Holly.

related: Why I hate Miami, exhibit a

From Stacey in Jacksonville, Florida: the blitzkrieg approach to ongoing breakroom disorder.

And from Englewood, Colorado…the passive-aggressive approach:

related: Nutra-not-so-sweet

If you’re looking for an opportunity to study the unique social behavior of primates, there’s a compound in Orlando, Florida you might be interested in visiting.

Consider the package below, which a female named Misty (and no, that’s not a pseudonymous nod to Dian Fossey) recently found outside her dwelling, #14302, apparently left there by the group of lower-ranking females residing directly below.

As you’ve observed, Dr. Goodall, dominant female chimpanzees have been known to deliberately kill the young of other females in the troop in order to maintain their dominance, so perhaps the preemptive Heath-bar offering accompanying the plea for quiet was an intelligent move on the part of these lesser-ranked females.

I’m sure you’ll agree, however, that further scientific study is necessary before any conclusions are drawn.

related: Please get yourself some slippers.