Entries Tagged as 'Florida'

The “your mother doesn’t work here” of the hospitality industry

October 31st, 2007 · 215 Comments

My former roommate Eric inspired this roundup (and an overly dramatic round of gagging/hair-pulling/eye-gouging on my part) by passing along a photo of this sign spotted on Marco Island, Florida — though it could have been anywhere on Main Street, USA. (Note the small print at top, which reads: “Signs sold in our gift shop.”)

Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy

I think the only thing that could make this sign more irritating would be if it said — shudder — “expresso.” This sign must be stopped!

Unattended children will be given a cup of espresso and a free puppy

Unattended children will be given an espresso and a puppy

We love kids, but please keep yours at your table! Unattended children will be given a shot of espresso and a free puppy. Thanks

Wandering children will be given a double espresso and a free puppy to take home! Thank you!

Children Left Unattended Will Be Given An Espresso And A Puppy

Unattended Children Will Be Given An Espresso And A Free Puppy

Children left unattended will be given an espresso and a Free Puppy

Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy

related: Unattended children will be shot

Tags: "customer service" · Florida · kids

Happy to be of service

June 27th, 2007 · 72 Comments

Cassie in Orlando is a preschool teacher, and brings us this note posted by the school’s director. “I cannot help but be in awe of her after this note,” Cassie says, and I have to agree.

Teachers, We offer naptime as a service to our parents and younger children. After all, we all know growing bodies and minds need lots of rest. I understand that the long hours and darkness can be tempting, but laying down on the floor with a pillow may be frowned upon by parents entering the room; not to mention being against state regulations for the supervision of children. If you are too exhausted during the day, and you continue to fall asleep in the afternoon, feel free to come to me. We can discuss the option of cutting your hours back to a more appropriate smaller amount so you may get more rest. If that does not help the situation, I will be more than happy to help you find a night shift position. Unfortunately, we do NOT offer night shifts at this particular school. Happy to be of service, [heart] L

A classic, no?

related: From the Manager’s Book of Quotes for Inspiring Workplace Paranoia

Tags: "helpful" advice · excessive underlining · heart · now that's management · office · Orlando · schools & teachers · signed with love · sleeping · spelling and grammar police

Don’t be stupid (thanks)

June 24th, 2007 · 47 Comments

Dan in Miami Beach — who by the way knows a thing or two about roommate drama — bring us this sign from a clothing store in the gay mecca of Wilton Manors, Florida. Says Dan: “Sometimes, gay men are a little bitchy with each other.” (Again, something he knows a bit about.)

Don't be stupid you can not try on the underwear! Thank you BALL

(And seriously, sweetheart, don’t even start with the whole “but that’s not exactly passive-aggressive” stuff.)

related: Ladies, if you happen to have forgotten your undies…

Tags: attire · Florida · hygiene · more aggressive than passive · pleasantries as afterthought · retail hell · spelling and grammar police