Entries Tagged as 'Georgia'

A declaration of independence

March 20th, 2013 · 116 Comments

Writes Kate in Georgia: “My niece, Emily, has to be the most adorable revolutionary in existence. Last week she self-published her manifesto. There are actually six pages of demands, each printed on butterfly stationery. (We assume the butterfly symbolizes her freedom from authority.)”

Emily declares her freedom...from getting in trouble

related: See you never again in my life!

Tags: Georgia · kids · Moms & Dads

Take that, Homeowners Association!

July 22nd, 2012 · 100 Comments

Megan in Atlanta found this note on her front door one day after returning home from work. Explains Megan: “My front rooms are living and dining, not bedrooms. I had put one of my front blinds up because the cat was getting to it and they’re expensive cellular shades.” Her “high road” response? Raising all the blinds in the house. (Adds Megan: “Enjoy the view, busybody!”)

Dear Homeowner: Please keep your blinds lowered (at all times) across [sic] front of your home - for aesthetic purposes. Thanks a walker a jogger a bicyclists [sic]

Meanwhile, Tim and his wife Rebecca spotted this smiley-faced bit of sarcasm on a street near their home in Colorado Springs. Adds Tim: “The neighborhood isn’t even very nice, so an ugly fence is hardly the worst thing around.”

Look Bob I've painted my fence :)

 

related: The Future HOA Presidents of America

Tags: Atlanta · Colorado · most popular notes of 2012 · MYOB · neighbors · there goes the neighborhood

The Toilet Paper Manifesto

November 14th, 2011 · 90 Comments

When four people share one bathroom, true equity in toilet-paper purchasing is nearly impossible to come by without conflict.

Just take a look at the opening salvo issued at Laura’s apartment in Georgia:

Clearly, you use the bathroom, which means that you use the 12 rolls of toilet paper I bought a week ago. And you bought 4. Really? Is this okay in the eyes of baby Jesus? Equality is important in today's society. Do you know who doesn't like equality? TERRORISTS. TERRORISTS DO NOT LIKE EQUALITY.

…and the first response:

I've started using my own toilet paper. Sorry for any confusion.

Your move, “Scott.”

related: Five approaches to TP maintenance

Tags: college life · Georgia · gloriously redundant · Jesus · p.s. · rebuttals · roommates · signed with love · smartass · toilet paper · visual aids

Bad luck you

June 7th, 2011 · 150 Comments

“My parents have a large front yard,” writes David in Georgia, “and up until a few years ago, it had about 40 trees in it.” Unfortunately, an arborist informed David’s parents that those trees, while they looked normal enough, had become infested and essentially hollowed-out by insects, killing the trees and turning them into a pretty big safety risk in the case of a storm. At the arborist’s recommendation — and I’m sure, at all no small expense — David’s parents had the trees removed.

Fast forward a few months to December, when the family put up their usual holiday decorations — little trees made of Christmas lights — throughout the front yard. Soon after, David says, the family received two items of interest in their mailbox:

1. A certificate of recognition from the Arbor Day Foundation, “thanking us for our efforts to prevent further tree deaths”
2. This handmade holiday card.

Wishing you...

5 years' bad luck for each tree you killed....And if that wasn't bad enough, you have the nerve to make tacky 'trees' out of lights and call it holiday cheer. What's wrong with you? Sadly but sincerely, Your neighbors on Henderson Road

Adds David: “This person obviously put a lot of work into carefully drawing and writing it; the artwork and penmanship are immaculate. If only they’d put as much effort into asking us why we were having the trees removed.”

related: All together now…please don’t climb the tree!

Tags: Christmas · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Georgia · holiday spirit · neighbors · Oops?

The Year of the Rabbit is off to a lucky start!

February 10th, 2011 · 37 Comments

…at least that’s the spin the managers of this Atlanta restaurant are going with.

Great news! Terminated one server today! More shifts for others, keep up the good work!  Len & Lili

(Thanks to Nicole and her friend Sam for submitting.)

related: Recession incentive plan

Tags: Atlanta · fired · now that's management · restaurant

Take a moment and look up the word RUDE.

January 6th, 2011 · 76 Comments

Just in case you were still under the impression that leaving an anonymous note will somehow allow you to maintain the moral high ground, take a look at this classic neighborly exchange from Drew‘s apartment building in Atlanta.

I have never been in your apartment and I doubt I ever will be. However, I think I would be correct in saying you have at least one bookcase. Within that selection of books, there is probably a dictionary. Take a moment and look up the word RUDE. If you do or if you already know the meaning of the world, you should know then that this describes YOU! Your radio or television wakes me up practically every morning at 5:30 and there are several nights it played late at night. I don't appreciate it and if it continues, I will take action which will not be favorable - talking to the apartment office. Thus, consider this a one time warning. I never thought anyone would be some thoughtless or rude as you but maybe you have never tried to improve on this undesired behavior. You better start before it becomes too late!

Drop the passive-aggressive posture and simply be an adult and ask next time!

related: I hope your cat chokes

Tags: Atlanta · neighbors · noise · not-so-veiled threats · obnoxious definition · oh snap · rebuttals · TL;DR

Please stop feeding the homeless

December 8th, 2010 · 247 Comments

Now, our submitter Kenny doesn’t want to you to get the wrong idea about his buddy Lamar. Yes, Lamar drives an old church van, but he works at a piercing parlor — he’s not the kind of rabble-rouser who’d go around doing things like, say, “feeding the hungry.”

Apparently, however, one of Lamar’s neighbors in the Little Five Points neighborhood of Atlanta saw the van and concluded otherwise — leaving behind this disapproving note for him to meditate on.

PLEASE STOP FEEDING THE HOMELESS IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD. YOU ARE DOING HARM TO Those of us Who live here. Take it to your on backyard. Thank you + Please —

related: Find somewhere else to sleep and piss

extra credit: Donate to the Metro Atlanta Task Force for the Homeless via PayPal

Donate to the National Alliance to End Homelessness via PayPal

Tags: Atlanta · heartwarming compassion · irregular capitalization · mistaken identity · NIMBY · pleasantries as afterthought · questionable logic · the homeless · there goes the neighborhood · WTF?

And heaven forbid a man even imagine cleaning a toilet himself…

November 13th, 2010 · 60 Comments

Katrina‘s husband spotted this sign in the men’s room of his office in Roswell, Georgia, shortly before the boss ordered it taken down. (The “…or I will cut you” part of the manager’s removal directive was implied, obviously. Because that’s just how they do things around there.)

GENTLEMAN use these restrooms as if your wife had to clean them. And not some strange black lady with a knife. Thank you

related: He’s disgusting AND he hates the environment!

Tags: cleaning · crazypants · disgruntled janitor · Georgia · irregular capitalization · most popular notes of 2010 · office · toilet

Please take me at my word that I’ve been working out lately

November 10th, 2010 · 49 Comments

Our anonymous submitter didn’t catch the original note about “slaming [sic] the door,” but you can get a pretty good idea of what it said based on the carefully worded response from the recipient, John (who, like Dustin, simply isn’t aware of his own strength at times).

Dear Sir or Madam: Hello. Thank you for bringing this matter to my attention. I would like to offer you my most profound apologies for having slammed the door last night. I have to tell you that I honestly wasn't aware that I do this; I always thought that I used a normal amount of force when closing the door, although I have been working out lately. Please take me at my word when I now say that I will be more conscious of my door closing from here forward. However, in the event that you do have more problems with me, I would greatly appreciate it if you were to approach me directly, rather that resort to another hasty and quite confrontational handwritten note that, to be quite frank, had all the potential to be taken as offensive. I am sure that you will understand where I am coming from. Once again, thank you for your correspondence and I appreciate your anticipated co-operation. Most sincerely, John [Redacted] Apt. 108

Meanwhile, this note, as seen by Felix in Atlanta, was clearly left by a neighbor without a law degree.

(I’m guessing a dog; cats are way more passive-aggressive.)

Dear Neighbor, Please, PLEASE stop by and say hello. We can clear this up right away without having to leave sneaky notes. Thanks! I look forward to chatting [Paw print]

related: Door-slamming sign slam

Tags: Atlanta · Illinois · neighbors · noise · non-apology apology · opening/closing · rebuttals · thanks (but not really)