Entries Tagged as 'Chicago'

Public Displays of Long-Distance Affection

December 18th, 2011 · 46 Comments

Ryan came home from work tonight and found this taped to the front door of his Chicago apartment building.

It could be worse, of course. Adds Ryan, “At least she plays nice guitar.”

To the guy who lives at the south end of the building and skypes his girlfriend every night at 3am: Hey man, I know you and your girlfriend are in different time zones, and I understand you have to talk to her EVERY NIGHT AT 2-4 AM, but could you please keep your voice down, and maybe use a headphone instead of the speaker? It's nice that your girlfriend has a beautiful singing voice and plays nice guitar, but I really can't appreciate her performance at this ungodly hour. I've been waken [sic] up three nights in a row by you guys and I sincerely hope it won't turn into a full season of your personal American idol show. PLEASE USE A HEADPHONE! Thank you. Someone who only gets 4 hours of sleep these days.

related: Toto, I have a feeling we’re not at band camp anymore

Tags: Chicago · neighbors · noise · sleeping

So close, and yet…

September 1st, 2011 · 99 Comments

Darin in Chicago came across the note on the side of his neighbor’s garage just as he was throwing his own dog’s crap in the trash can. (This is kinda like getting out the new roll of TP, but then leaving it on the side of the sink to get wet instead of just putting it on the dispenser…except, worse.)

You pick up the dog crap, but insist on leaving it next to the garbage can. I don't understand.

I don’t really understand the logic here either, but perhaps this particular dog owner is still dealing with the scars from dealing with neighbors like this one, from Ottawa:

OLD LADY If I Catch You In The Act Of Putting Your Dogs Crap In Our Cans. I Will Cut Off Your Head And Bolt It To The Hood Of My Car

related: This is not a trash can

Tags: Chicago · dogs · excessive capitalization · garbage · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · recycling · shit · You call that punctuation?

Short fuses over shorted fuses

July 14th, 2011 · 85 Comments

Well, here’s another one to file under I didn’t even know that was a thing.

Explains our submitter in Chicago: “We live in a VERY old building with a lot of electrical problems. Apparently, one of the tenants is blowing fuses daily and switching their blown fuses out with other units’ working ones. Crazy.”

Dear Jerkface who keeps stealing fuses, 1) You're a jerkface. 2) Fuses are expensive. You would know that if you went out and bought some instead of stealing other people's. 3) You obviously have some type of electrical issue that needs to be addressed. Call the management company before you burn down the building. Thanks!

related: This is not a thing! I refuse to acknowledge this is a thing!

Tags: Chicago · neighbors · nice stationery · stealing · that's a fire hazard

Praying for rain (and/or the end of the world)

May 21st, 2011 · 30 Comments

Dan in Chicago spotted this unexpected gem in the “comments from our readers” section of the Chicago Tribune weather page.

Right now it is not raining, but I am really counting on it to rain, because I am not in the mood to go to my son's little league game.

related: No money, no trophy

Tags: Chicago · Moms & Dads · posted online

Dear Bad Mood Customer

February 2nd, 2011 · 52 Comments

“The Lakeview area doesn’t have the most convenient post office locations, so many people just stop in at this shipping center,” says Zach in Chicago. “This sign is well known in the neighborhood.” (Indeed, I’ve gotten photos of it from at least five different submitters.)

“The lady who served me seemed nice,” says Leigh, “but I guess people aren’t so nice to her.” Meanwhile, Casey, another submitter, says: “the little lady actually picks fights with customers! She charged me astronomical prices for shipping books and when I asked her about it, she started yelling at me.” I guess that’s the convenience charge?

Dear Bad Mood Customer if you don't like our price just go other place for your business. Don't make our day not peaceful by only less than $1.00 more and your dirty words. Life is so short to be ? by your too little. Thank you.

Dear Bad Mood Customer if you don't like our price just go other place for your business. Don't make our day not peaceful by only less than $1.00 more and your dirty words. Life is so short to be ? by your too little. Thank you.

related: Service with a snarl

Tags: "customer service" · actually totally reasonable · CAPS LOCK · Chicago · Clearly a non-native English speaker · high on highlighter

Did you want a doggy bag for those leftovers, sir?

November 8th, 2010 · 72 Comments

Our submitter says this isn’t the first time her father has put up this display in his front yard…proving, I guess that some people will go through a lot of shit just to make a point. (Meanwhile, the neighborhood dogs and dog owners continue to go about their business.)

Thank you for leaving this for me. I really don't need it. Feel free to take it home for your own use.

related: Lost & Found

Tags: Chicago · dogs · shit · thanks (but not really)

Why can’t we all just get along?

June 29th, 2010 · 63 Comments

Hey, here’s some advice! If you’re looking to improve your relationships with your roommates, communicating through the erasable whiteboard might not be the most effective way to go.

Why can't we all just get along? DON'T BE BITCHES!

(Above, from a sorority house in L.A.; below, from a shared apartment in Chicago.)

Our communication is pretty bad. We should talk as a group when WE are ready.

related: Facebook, another poor medium for mediating roommate disputes

Tags: Chicago · Los Angeles · roommates · sorority girls · whiteboard

Can you dig it?

February 21st, 2010 · 364 Comments

“When I first moved to Chicago,” says Mike, “my grandfather told me about parking in the winter. One would dig out a spot and insert a chair, reserving the spot for your trouble.” One of his neighbors, it seems, didn’t get the benefit of such grandfatherly wisdom.

Dear Transplant, You obviously haven't lived in Chicago long.

Neither, apparently, did Chris…who made the mistake of parking in an empty space outside his friend’s house in Chicago for few hours. When he got home, he found this note affixed to his mirror with glue.

Thanks for being so rude by parking in the space that I shoveled out for my family.

And of course, Chicago isn’t the only city that takes its snow-shoveling etiquette seriously.

Just ask Anna in New Jersey…

This table is not trash, it is mine. I am using it to mark my parking spot that I so diligently shoveled out twice yesterday.

Or Brooke in Indianapolis…

I spent 3.5 hours over 2 days to shovel this parking space out so i could get to work and earn a paycheck. Since parking on the street is my only option at the moment, I would ask that you respect my hard work in shoveling myself out and NOT take my spot to park.  Have your business spend money to plow your spots in front of your business if you would like a clean spot to park.  Regards, A homeowner with a sore back from shoveling so much snow!!!

Or Amy in Washington, D.C…

Dear "Neighbor": I'm sure you thought the Recycling Bin and Trash Bags were just there for decoration. When a person spends hours digging out a parking spot through two separate snowstorms, she has a right to park there upon her return.

Or Larry in Silver Spring, Maryland…

NOT COOL!!  You didn't take 3 hours to shovel this spot OUT!!  This is MY parking spot!!

Or Kristin in Pittsburgh…

PLEASE DON'T PARK HERE (or I will totally lose my shit!!)

Olivia in Albany…

Don't think about parking here   Shovel your own space  Thank you   Have a nice day

Or Chris in Boston…where they’re always keepin’ it classy.

Hey fucking asshole the barrel was there for a reason. I didn't shovel out the spot that you could park your shitbox in it you fucking dickhead.

related: Boston, a place for friends

Tags: Chicago · etiquette · most popular notes of 2010 · neighbors · parking · snow

And you thought college students were foul…

January 10th, 2010 · 72 Comments

“I live in a condominium building that is popular with the elderly,” writes our submitter from the Chicagoland area. Recently, he says, the building’s board of managers put copies of this note in everyone’s mailboxes and posted it in the lobby (so guests wouldn’t be spared the details, either.)

Adds our submitter: “I don’t know what’s more inappropriate: losing control of your bowels in the hallway or distributing this memo to all the residents.”

Someone has a serious bowel problem

Meanwhile in depressing economic news, Sara in Kansas City, Missouri says her company’s last Christmas party was held in — wait for it — the rec center of a local retirement home. Revelers who stopped by the restroom were greeted with this cheerful reminder of OMG SHOOT ME NOW.

After you rinse your dentures PLEASE rinse out sink

related: Dr. Freud’s Salon Scatologica

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Chicago · disturbingly detailed · old folks · shit · that's disgusting

Buy curtains. Please.

October 5th, 2009 · 162 Comments

Writes Michael in Chicago: “Apparently, some of our neighbors had a problem with us being naked in our apartment.” Without knowing any other details of this situation, I’d have to say:

a) “Be more private with yourself” is a phrase I am going to try to work into future conversations whenever possible.

b) Michael, while I 100% support your right to bare all in your own home…curtains still might be a worthwhile investment.

problems with the nude

Meanwhile, Scott in Seattle found this note taped to the front door of his apartment building. “Needless to say,” Scott adds, the next time he saw the large bald man from the third floor in the building’s laundry room, “it was a touch awkward.”

i know you have shades...so don't masturbate in front of your windows!

related: get your “nozzle” off my “hose”

extra credit: man arrested for being naked in his own home [WTOP news]

Tags: actually totally reasonable · Chicago · neighbors