Entries Tagged as 'Illinois'

No more dipping into the day care baby dippers

August 4th, 2010 · 113 Comments

“Typically, the people at my son’s day care just tell me when he’s running low on diapers or they write a note on his daily progress report,” says Lindsey in Peoria, Illinois. “Last time I forgot, and he had to use a few of theirs. I guess this was his teacher’s passive-aggressive [Ed. note: AND TOTALLY CREEPY] way of ensuring that I’d remember this time.”

(It worked.)

NEED MORE

related: Is your babysitter trying to get in your kid’s pants?

Tags: Illinois · kinda creepy · Moms & Dads

Why can’t we all just get along?

June 29th, 2010 · 63 Comments

Hey, here’s some advice! If you’re looking to improve your relationships with your roommates, communicating through the erasable whiteboard might not be the most effective way to go.

Why can't we all just get along? DON'T BE BITCHES!

(Above, from a sorority house in L.A.; below, from a shared apartment in Chicago.)

Our communication is pretty bad. We should talk as a group when WE are ready.

related: Facebook, another poor medium for mediating roommate disputes

Tags: Chicago · Los Angeles · roommates · sorority girls · whiteboard

The passive-aggressive wunderkind

March 29th, 2010 · 84 Comments

Mandie in Sullivan, Illinois found this love note from her six-year-old daughter tucked under her pillow one night. Can we get this kid on a stamp, stat? I think she has a future at Hallmark (or someecards).

Mommy I Love you sometimes !!!!!!!

Perhaps she could work on getting this prototype (by six-year-old Max in Marietta, Georgia) into production.

Dear Cameron, I am so sorry that I smacked you in the privates.

related: The joys of motherhood

Tags: exclamation-point happy!!!! · Georgia · Illinois · kids · Moms & Dads

Can you dig it?

February 21st, 2010 · 364 Comments

“When I first moved to Chicago,” says Mike, “my grandfather told me about parking in the winter. One would dig out a spot and insert a chair, reserving the spot for your trouble.” One of his neighbors, it seems, didn’t get the benefit of such grandfatherly wisdom.

Dear Transplant, You obviously haven't lived in Chicago long.

Neither, apparently, did Chris…who made the mistake of parking in an empty space outside his friend’s house in Chicago for few hours. When he got home, he found this note affixed to his mirror with glue.

Thanks for being so rude by parking in the space that I shoveled out for my family.

And of course, Chicago isn’t the only city that takes its snow-shoveling etiquette seriously.

Just ask Anna in New Jersey…

This table is not trash, it is mine. I am using it to mark my parking spot that I so diligently shoveled out twice yesterday.

Or Brooke in Indianapolis…

I spent 3.5 hours over 2 days to shovel this parking space out so i could get to work and earn a paycheck. Since parking on the street is my only option at the moment, I would ask that you respect my hard work in shoveling myself out and NOT take my spot to park.  Have your business spend money to plow your spots in front of your business if you would like a clean spot to park.  Regards, A homeowner with a sore back from shoveling so much snow!!!

Or Amy in Washington, D.C…

Dear "Neighbor": I'm sure you thought the Recycling Bin and Trash Bags were just there for decoration. When a person spends hours digging out a parking spot through two separate snowstorms, she has a right to park there upon her return.

Or Larry in Silver Spring, Maryland…

NOT COOL!!  You didn't take 3 hours to shovel this spot OUT!!  This is MY parking spot!!

Or Kristin in Pittsburgh…

PLEASE DON'T PARK HERE (or I will totally lose my shit!!)

Olivia in Albany…

Don't think about parking here   Shovel your own space  Thank you   Have a nice day

Or Chris in Boston…where they’re always keepin’ it classy.

Hey fucking asshole the barrel was there for a reason. I didn't shovel out the spot that you could park your shitbox in it you fucking dickhead.

related: Boston, a place for friends

Tags: Chicago · etiquette · most popular notes of 2010 · neighbors · parking · snow

The Munchkins are restless.

January 25th, 2010 · 96 Comments

“Our department head thought we should be be bringing in doughnuts more often,” says our anonymous submitter in Illinois. One of the department’s “severely underpaid” underlings, meanwhile, thought otherwise.

...If we were paid COMPETATIVE [sic] WAGES We could afford doughnuts!

UPDATE: For those of you asking “But where’s the ridiculous clip art?!” I bring you this rather dashing toreador/sheriff (as spotted by Mel in the break room of her Ithaca, New York office).

While Mel doesn’t disagree with the sentiment behind the note, “It’s a bit off-putting to be presumed guilty of theft before the fact,” she says. “Also, there seems to be a degree of randomness to the number of exclamation points at the end of each line.” (And of course, that dandy of a sheriff.)

PUT THE DONUT DOWN, AND STEP AWAY FROM THE COFFEE!!

related: Straight out of the Michael Scott Playbook

Tags: bold underlined italics · bullet points · coffee · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · Illinois · now that's management · office · raging against the machine · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police

And you thought college students were foul…

January 10th, 2010 · 72 Comments

“I live in a condominium building that is popular with the elderly,” writes our submitter from the Chicagoland area. Recently, he says, the building’s board of managers put copies of this note in everyone’s mailboxes and posted it in the lobby (so guests wouldn’t be spared the details, either.)

Adds our submitter: “I don’t know what’s more inappropriate: losing control of your bowels in the hallway or distributing this memo to all the residents.”

Someone has a serious bowel problem

Meanwhile in depressing economic news, Sara in Kansas City, Missouri says her company’s last Christmas party was held in — wait for it — the rec center of a local retirement home. Revelers who stopped by the restroom were greeted with this cheerful reminder of OMG SHOOT ME NOW.

After you rinse your dentures PLEASE rinse out sink

related: Dr. Freud’s Salon Scatologica

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Chicago · disturbingly detailed · old folks · shit · that's disgusting

Thanks for the geography lesson, Dad!

November 2nd, 2009 · 147 Comments

Our anonymous submitter from Chicago says she and her four siblings recently received this somewhat cryptic e-mail from dear old dad.

Explains A: “The initials refer to our names (and spouses’ names, where applicable). Dad lives in West Bloomfield. I’m pretty sure it means he wants us to visit?”

thanks for the geography lesson, dad!

related: love, Dad

Tags: e-mail · Father-daughter notes · guilt trip · Illinois · Moms & Dads

Buy curtains. Please.

October 5th, 2009 · 162 Comments

Writes Michael in Chicago: “Apparently, some of our neighbors had a problem with us being naked in our apartment.” Without knowing any other details of this situation, I’d have to say:

a) “Be more private with yourself” is a phrase I am going to try to work into future conversations whenever possible.

b) Michael, while I 100% support your right to bare all in your own home…curtains still might be a worthwhile investment.

problems with the nude

Meanwhile, Scott in Seattle found this note taped to the front door of his apartment building. “Needless to say,” Scott adds, the next time he saw the large bald man from the third floor in the building’s laundry room, “it was a touch awkward.”

i know you have shades...so don't masturbate in front of your windows!

related: get your “nozzle” off my “hose”

extra credit: man arrested for being naked in his own home [WTOP news]

Tags: actually totally reasonable · Chicago · neighbors

Recession incentive plan

July 9th, 2009 · 160 Comments

Writes Katrina in Illinois: “I work in furniture, and due to the economy/the real estate crash, the company has been struggling and a lot of employees have been making a lot less money.  This little morale booster was found on the break room bulletin board — right beside the letter notifying us that the company was no longer matching 401(k) contributions.”

To all Employees: New incentive plan: work - or get fired!

related: “That’s what she said”

Tags: fired · high on highlighter · Illinois · now that's management

J-school today: from a dying medium to a dead horse

June 4th, 2009 · 119 Comments

This note — spotted by Erik in a break room at Northwestern‘s Medill School of Journalism — takes me back to my days as a bright-eyed young reporter cheerfully slaving away at my college daily, where the grizzled old alumni “mentors” working at the Times or the Globe always seemed to have the same advice:  if we were smart, we’d get the hell out of journalism before it was too late. (“Ha ha,” we’d laugh, awkwardly.) It’s somehow reassuring to know that kids today (“kids today!”) are still blithely ignoring their elders to pursue a degree that just might be the most unnecessary in higher education.

But seriously now. At this point, you’re like, “What is this biotch rambling on about? Doesn’t she know I don’t read text longer than 140 characters at a time? Show me the picture, dammit!” And that, young j-schoolers, is the topic of next week’s lecture.

from medill journalism school: put your twitter articles here so you can stop spamming our inboxes

related: the silverware segregationist

extra credit: the twitter explosion [american journalism review]

Tags: Chicago · college life · kids today · thanks (but not really) · xoxo