Entries Tagged as 'Illinois'

Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler

September 19th, 2007 · 265 Comments

Attention: corporate emergency in the Chicagoland area!

but then they switched from the swingline to the boston stapler

Meanwhile, in Seattle…

thank you so much for your collaborations

Adds our anonymous submitter, “All the glassware for all departments is washed by the poor lab slaves at least twice a day, and then promptly returned to the shelves. How much glassware are they using that they notice if a beaker or two went missing?”

Tags: a little uptight · and that's an order · Chicago · crazy boss · excessive underlining · not-so-veiled threats · office · office supplies · Seattle · spelling and grammar police

More from the frontlines of post-post-feminism

August 17th, 2007 · 131 Comments

Writes Kristi in Chicago: “This was sent from our receptionist to the ENTIRE office (except, for some reason, me, until a coworker forwarded it so I wouldn’t miss out on the fun. It’s the receptionist’s job to order supplies and put away deliveries, but apparently she doesn’t like to do any heavy lifting. The last line really sent the office into a tizzy!”

(click to enlarge)

"...we are an office full of women and cannot lift the heavy boxes of copy paper"

It’s the second-to-last line that sends me into a bit of a tizzy…

Tags: "helpful" advice · Chicago · comma diarrhea · e-mail · moving/not moving · office · spelling and grammar police

Don’t hate the playa

August 12th, 2007 · 115 Comments

Our anonymous submitter lives in a 30-story condo building in Chicago. Her father works in the same building, and received this note in the suggestion box.

“I found the letter slipped under my door one day,” she says. “My dad had put it there after reading it with his boss. I’m sure he’s damn proud of his little girl!”

In her defense, our submitter believes the notes allegations to be more than a bit exaggerated. “I have never (that I can remember) regurgitated in the garage,” she says, adding, in the immortal words of Salt n Pepa: “If I wanna take a guy home with me tonight/IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!”

This is to inform you that the tenant who lives on floor [redacted] appears to be having drug and alcohol problems.

Tags: Chicago · danger · drizzunk · drugs · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Moms & Dads · neighbors · noise · nonsensical spacing · not-so-veiled threats · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police

There you go, bringing Him into it again

June 4th, 2007 · 38 Comments

What Would Jesus Steal?

Jesus doesn't steal Poptarts. NEITHER SHOULD YOU...

Jesus didn't steal hot wings & Pizza rolls Neither should you!! JJ + Destiny

This classroom is covered by the blood of Jesus. You deal with Him when you steal from children!

(Thanks to Sarah at Greenville College (a Christian school in Illinois) and  James in Beaumont, Texas for their submissions.)

related: Would Jesus steal jelly?

Tags: college life · excessive underlining · food · Illinois · Jesus · stealing · you know who you are