You’re a zookeeper. You’re sick of answering the same damn question all day long. How do you handle it?

Well, there’s the PC approach…

The pedantic approach…

And then there’s my personal favorite, the German approach.

(Thanks to Gina in Cincinnati, Sarah in Los Angeles, and Andrea in Berlin for their submissions!)

related: Don’t die; it’s expensive

At our submitter’s college dorm in Lexington, Kentucky, one of the RAs posts an inspirational quote on the bathroom door each week. When one of the residents questioned why those “thoughts/encouragements” always happened to come from the Bible, the RA responded with a new source of inspiration.

related: No bread and circuses! But maybe an ice cream social?

Passive-aggressive? Oh, heavens no! These are just a few selfless public service announcements.

From an office in Oregon…

New Zealand…

and Kentucky…

related: The overly friendly coworker: ruining your day since you held the elevator for her that one time

The car you drive can say a lot about you as a person.

Sometimes…too much.

(Thanks to the eagle-eyed Russell in Madison, Wisconsin; Alyssa in Pleasant Grove, Utah and Samantha in Lexington, Kentucky for the documentation.)

related: So if I start selling drugs I can drive an Escalade, too?

Writes Liz in Dublin: “I’m submitting a message I received via Facebook to show that while Facebook is a great place to reconnect with old friends, it is an even better place to reopen decade-old wounds of teenage angst.”

Explains Liz: “The e-mailer and I never spoke in high school, and I thought it was odd that she added me as a friend on Facebook in the first place. In the spirit of being nice, I added her back, kept her on for few days (I figured she just wanted to see my pictures) and then removed her. That was about two months ago, so it’s interesting that she’s bringing it up now.”

Meanwhile, Michael in Lexington, Kentucky received a similarly out-of-the-blue message from an old high school “friend” he hadn’t heard from in about ten years. “To be honest,” says Michael, “I’m not sure what ‘ties’ she’s referring to.”

related: tant pis, mon amie
extra credit: 30 rock “reunion” [hulu]

Because it’s Monday and you’re so thrilled to be back at work, I thought it was as appropriate a time as any to bring you these gems from the Columbia, Kentucky and Melbourne, Australia campuses, respectively, of the University of What The Fuck.

(And commenters, please note the enormous exercise of restraint demonstrated by the lack of “anal-retentive” punning in this post’s subject line.)

related: If you needed an excuse to skip the gym today

extra credit: Waste management [youtube]

Writes our anonymous submitter from Kentucky: “I work at a gym. I was checking the women’s locker room to make sure it wasn’t a fetid stinkpit (it wasn’t) when I saw three of these lying on the counter. I went to throw them out and found a whole mess of them in the trash can, too.”

related: like a rotten sponge

One of these notes is from Los Angeles; one is from Lexington, Kentucky. Can you guess which is which?

(Thanks to Eve in Kentucky and Natalie in L.A. for submitting.)