Entries Tagged as 'Maryland'

Southern Comfort

January 18th, 2009 · 121 Comments

Though the issue might not be top of mind for sophisticated and urbane readership of this website, let this serve as your warning: Should you find yourself in, say, Fayetteville, Arkansas (like Melissa, a California expat currently attending the U of A) you’ll soon realize how important it is to lay down the law with regard to proper cud disposal.

I know that we live in Arkansas, and we like our tobacco, but the water fountain is not a spit cup for you're [sic] chewed tobacco. It is clogging up the drain. Please refrain from using the water fountain for this purpose.


Of course, when you live as far north as Baltimore and notice that your boss has taken to spitting chaw in your trash can, the situation becomes that much more dire.

Spit in my trashcan and I'll take a dump in yours :)

related: evidently, yes

Tags: all-staff e-mail · Arkansas · Baltimore · garbage · southern charm · spelling and grammar police · spitting · your/you're

Tilt your head upwards.

January 4th, 2009 · 78 Comments

Josh from Annapolis, Maryland says the first and last note in this exchange were apparently written by Stephen, a college student at a school “known for it’s obtusely intellectual, chronically spacey student body.”

The notes were gone within a few days, but Josh says the situation hasn’t exactly improved. In the meantime, he says, “I’m kinda worried for my own safety. I recently saw this kid chopping firewood in the backyard, so he definitely has an ax.”

Stop using a typewriter on looseleaf. It makes you look like a pretentious asshole. -a concerned citizen
related: passive-aggressive mad libs

Tags: Annapolis · garbage · neighbors · note wars · recycling · that's disrespectful · You call that punctuation?

Sorry, I’ve been sharing the olive oil with the squirrels

August 19th, 2008 · 176 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Takoma Park, Maryland says her roommate is constantly leaving little post-its and e-mails for the other roommates, but  I think these two have a bit of yum-o synchronicity.

Hi all, If you are in the habit of sharing our extra virgin olive oil, it is your turn to buy some.... if not, well, I guess I'm out of olive oil.

re: bread in trash — Is there any reason not to feed to squirrels, compost, or even eat this bread?

related: The first thing I did when I woke up

Tags: e-mail · food · Maryland · roommates · Takoma Park · thanks (but not really) · The Earth

Crazy is right

February 19th, 2008 · 217 Comments

In the office kitchen, expecting your coworkers to wipe up the spatters from their exploded Hot Pockets seems like standard enough microwave etiquette. And a ban on charred popcorn and leftover tuna casserole? Eh, fair enough. But this note — from an anonymous office worker in Baltimore — is the kind of thing that leads to out-and-out mutiny.

Please clear any unused time off the microwave when you are finished.  Some of us have O.C.D. and leftover time drives us crazy.  -Thanks!

UPDATE: There’s a copycat on the loose!

UPDATE 2: They’re multiplying!

The copycat; busted!

UPDATE 3: The meta-madness continues!

meta like whoa

UPDATE 4: It continues!

Yet another copycat!

related: Who are you calling OCD?

Tags: a little uptight · Baltimore · microwave · most popular notes of 2008 · office

Office anthropomorphism

December 29th, 2007 · 65 Comments

Many offices, it seems, are a regular Disneyland of what only appear to be inanimate objects. The evidence?

From Frank in San Francisco, a sentient sponge:

USE ME RINSE ME + help keep me from getting ICKY! Thank you, Sponge

From Amy in Annapolis, Maryland, a talking toilet:

DID YOU FLUSH ME AND WIPE OFF MY SEAT????

From Ben in San Antonio, Texas, a talking door:

I noticed I am not shut when people enter or exit. Please make sure I am shut upon exiting or entering. -The Door

And then there’s my favorite – from an anonymous submitter in Washington, D.C. – a talking (and walking) microwave:

If You Guys Don't Keep Me Clean I'm walking away from you If you don't Believe TRY M

(Most baffling…where on earth did that clip art come from?)

related: I guess that’s why

Tags: Annapolis · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · clip art catastrophe · confusion??? · D.C. · irregular capitalization · Maryland · microwave · opening/closing · San Antonio · San Francisco · Texas · toilet

Stay home!!!

June 2nd, 2007 · 24 Comments

Are you sneezing, achey, coughing or just feeling lousey? Well the best remedy for it is to stay home!!! And it is the best remedy for us healthy people, too.

(from an anonymous submitter in Maryland.)

Tags: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy!!!! · illness · kitchen · Maryland · office · spelling and grammar police

This means you!!!

May 31st, 2007 · 16 Comments

From Amy in Ocean Pines, Maryland, who explains: “I have had a problem with the people I live with (namely my husband and sister) who do not understand the concept that a dryer full of lint is a fire hazard [!!!]”

Clean the filter before starting dryer! I am sick of telling people!

Tags: exclamation-point happy!!!! · family · Maryland

And/or random things

May 22nd, 2007 · 11 Comments

Such a perfect little hat trick at the end of this note (submitted by Laura in Baltimore) — the four exclamation points, the heart, the “thx.”

Please refrain from leaving piles of work and/or random things on my chair when I'm away! It makes me want to poke my eyes out!!!

Tags: Baltimore · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · heart · office · thx