Entries Tagged as 'Massachusetts'

You’ve got mail!

February 28th, 2013 · 63 Comments

Writes our submitter in Boston: “Our mailman always finds the most creative and effective ways to convey his thoughts to those who neglect their mail.”

Congratulations 2d — You must be proud of the fact that you have accumulated the most mail ever in Back Bay history for someone who has not left the country, enough in fact that it now completely fills a 2nd unused mailbox here. Celebrate!! Be proud! Revel in the glory

related: Apartment D is NOT vacant!

Tags: Boston · going postal · public shaming

…but don’t do that.

February 26th, 2013 · 41 Comments

Slow clap for this building manager in Boston, anyone?

Do anything you want with the paper towels! It's an arts neighborhood: make a sculpture. Winter's coming: make a neck ruff. Roll your own: and smoke away from the building. But please don't put them in the toilet!! Put them in the trash...throw them out the nearest window...adopt them...send them to reform school...but don't put them in the toilet! Our staff and the people downstairs are very tired of the overflow floods.

related: Things to do this summer

Tags: bathroom · Boston · toilet

Hair-raising indignation

January 10th, 2013 · 47 Comments

This type of note, I think, is the absolute WORST.

This hair has been hanging here for more than SIX MONTHS. Has anyone else noticed. Cleaning people haven't.

related: This thing is in the way. Is someone going to move it? 

Tags: bathroom · Boston · hair · office

Fish cookies, anyone?

December 6th, 2012 · 60 Comments

It was a Friday and Meredith in Lexington, Massachusetts was pretty much running on auto-pilot when she made the mistake of microwaving leftover tacos for lunch — FISH tacos. Much to her horror, Meredith says, “The smell immediately permeated the office and got everyone talking and wondering who had committed one of the worst office kitchen taboos — second only to burned microwave popcorn.”

In an attempt to make things right, Meredith says, “I then asked some software engineers, who like to bake frozen cookie dough in the toaster oven, if they would help me cover up my secret shame by baking some sweet-smelling cookies. This is the note they left for all to see.”

Trust us, this smells better than Meredith's burnt fish lunch. (She sits that way ?). She is very sorry and will never do it again!

related: To spray or not to spray?; Eau dear

Tags: etiquette · fish · Massachusetts · microwave · odor · office · oh no you didn't · public shaming

(We don’t speak dog)

October 25th, 2012 · 69 Comments

“About five months ago,” writes Catherine in Massachusetts, a new tenant moved in and began a new exercise regime: running back and forth in the building hallways. “His/her gait is rather lumbering and resonates throughout our apartment,” Catherine says. “We were startled at first, but have come to giggle over this frequent disruption. Apparently, one of our neighbors isn’t laughing.”

To the runner - please STOP RUNNING in the hallway To everyone else - if you're as annoyed as I am at the running, please tell the office whatever you know about who's doing it. They want to talk with him.

From there, things began to escalate. “Fortunately,” Catherine says, the ensuing flame war “just goes to show that most of our neighbors have a great sense of humor.”

To the adult-children: PLEASE GROW UP (you live in an apartment building) To everyone else If you are as annoyed as I am at the adult-children in the apartment - please ignore them until they speak to you directly about their issues, like adults...  To the dogs - please STOP YELLING AT US IN THE HALLWAY (we don't speak dog) To everyone else- If you're as annoyed as I am at the dog language in the hallway, please tell the office whatever you know about whose doing it. THey want to talk to the dog rif-raf.  To the adults - please STOP HAVING A GOOD TIME IN THE HALLWAY To everyone else If you are as annoyed as I am at the enjoyment of life in our hallway, please tell the office whatever you know about who's doing it. They want to talk to them.  To the residents - Please STOP USING THE HALLWAY To everyone else -  If you are as annoyed as I am at the use of our hallway, please tell the office whatever you know about who's doing it.  They want to talk to everyone.   To all the children- please: STOP CRYING, SQUEALING, WHINING, ACTING UP IN THE HALLWAY To everyone else- If you're as annoyed as I am at the crying, squealing, whining and acting up, please tell the office whatever you know about who's doing it. They want to talk to her.

related: The very delicate elevator

Tags: dogs · kids · Massachusetts · neighbors · noise · note wars · smartass

So this is what a “compassionate conservative” looks like?

June 21st, 2012 · 108 Comments

Jen in Concord, Massachusetts is pretty sure she has a Romney supporter to thank for the friendly note left on her car during a recent trip to Target.

Dear Friend, Someone defaced your car w/ an Obama sticker, just thought you should know, hate to see you look like an idiot.

“Fortunately,” she says, “the Obama sticker (which is actually a magnet and very easily removed) was left intact, as was the Darwin fish.”

The sticker

UPDATE: Closer to the election, Samantha was surprised to find a similar (copycat?) note on her car in the President’s hometown of Chicago.

Hi! We noticed that someone vandalized your car and put this Obama bumper sticker on it.  Just making sure you noticed it so you can take it off before you are mistaken for a total dufus. —A good Samaritan

related: Herbie goes to Washington; When Mavericks Attack

Tags: "helpful" advice · Chicago · Massachusetts · politics

Sure, she’s dumb as a box of hair, but…

December 4th, 2011 · 49 Comments

Apparently Meaghan’s roommates weren’t happy with how she disposed of her bang trimmings in the recycling bin. But c’mon, at least she didn’t leave em in the sink or the shower drain, right? Or…maybe she was confused about how the whole “locks of love” thing works? Or…aww, screw it. Can’t you bitches all just get along?

Hey bitch (Meaghan)!  Hair is not recyclable! (I hope your new haircut looks really stupid!) -N & B

related: Dear mother of hair baby…

Tags: hair · heart · Massachusetts · mean girls · recycling · roommates

I pita the fool

August 17th, 2011 · 86 Comments

Writes Elizabeth in Massachusetts: “My dad has taken to mixing hummus and tabbouleh in a bowl and eating it like that, which some reason, drives my brother absolutely crazy. I looked in the fridge today and was not surprised at all to find this note, which my dad ignored.”

This is a dip; it should be accompanied by another piece of food such as a pita chip, pita bread, etc. Not to be eaten with just a spoon.

Something tells me Elizabeth’s brother might also have an opinion about whether toast can or cannot be refrigerated…and perhaps the appropriateness of Cinnamon Roll Casserole as a workplace snack.

related: The most inane thing since sliced bread

Tags: "helpful" advice · a matter of taste · Father-son notes · food · fridge · Massachusetts

So NOT where I thought that one was going…

July 24th, 2011 · 49 Comments

Writes Stacey in Massachusetts: “The church around the corner from my house is famous for the little rants on their sign, but this one definitely takes the cake.” Obviously, texting while driving isn’t cool, but as Stacey put it: “For a church, it just seems a bit…hostile.”

Love Jesus? To meet him now, text while driving!

Meanwhile, I just opened up the August issue of Texas Monthly to see this slightly more gently worded version…

related: Sincerely, God

extra credit: Church sign generator

Tags: driving · Jesus · Massachusetts · questionable logic · reverse psychology · rhetorical question · text message

Next time, I’ll burn the mail.

June 23rd, 2011 · 110 Comments

Jillian and her roommates in Massachusetts recently found this note — which goes from 0 to 60 in half a page — outside their apartment door. At the time it was left, says Jillian: “None of us were home except the dog, who apparently needs to lose weight.”

But hey, neighbor? Even if they had been home, ignoring a knock hardly seems grounds for jumping straight to burning the mail. Apparently it is not a good month for chilling the fuck out.

Out of the kindness of my heart, I chose to bring the mail to your door in person, after it was wrongfully delivered to me. You ignored my knocks, while your obese feet tromp along our ceiling, unable to hide. Next time, I'll burn the mail. All actions feed more action. Spite and arrogance breed the same in others. YES. It is a good month to be a bitch.

related: (Don’t Fear) The Creeper

Tags: martyr complex · Massachusetts · mistaken identity · most popular notes of 2011 · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · Oops? · WTF?