Entries Tagged as 'Massachusetts'

Why don’t you go park your car in Harvard Yard?

May 12th, 2010 · 85 Comments

Our submitter in Amherst, Massachusetts was heading to class at UMass one day when she saw no fewer than twelve of these signs posted throughout the hallways and doors of her apartment building.  “My neighbors had a fun time responding with comments all over them,” she says, at least for the day and half before they got taken down.

I think my favorite part of this one is the handwritten notes at the bottom. One neighbor suggests, “Perhaps you should talk to the people in this building instead of making them think you’re mean, dramatic and cowardly,” and the writer, pouty-faced, responds, “Well I have said this before and nobody listens.” (Unwritten response: “Boo-FUCKING-hoo. Sounds like somebody needs to get laid.” )

Do you see a fucking sign outside that says free parking?!!!! Get your freaking girlfriend, boyfriend, lover, crack dealer, etc. to go park somewhere else!!!! Just because you copulate on a regular basis doesn't mean they are entitled to make this their own personal free parking lot. I dish out over $500 fucking dollars a month to live here and so it is total and utter bullshit when I come back from campus at 3:15 in the fucking morning after a long ass day of work and I have to go find someplace else to park my car so I don't have to get a fucking ticket. If you are not paying rent here, go find some other fucking place to park your fucking car!

related: When parking gets political

Tags: bold underlined italics · car · exclamation-point happy!!!! · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · jealous much? · Massachusetts · neighbors · parking · rebuttals

So…the water cooler’s hosting rainbow parties again?

May 13th, 2009 · 155 Comments

Spotted above the office “water cooler” by “Josh” in Boston…

I can't believe the amount of 'pink' lipstick that was removed from the water spout. Please be more considerate of others. You know who you are!

related: And all the pieces matter

Tags: Boston · office · unnecessary "quotation marks" · water · you know who you are

No good deed…

May 12th, 2009 · 300 Comments

D in Sunderland, Mass. received a piece of her previous manager’s mail several months after he was fired.

“I felt it was only right to contact him about a membership directory for an organization with which he was heavily involved,” she says. “I was genuinely shocked to receive his reply, especially considering how careful he was to never put anything in print that could possibly damage his reputation as ‘an internationally published poet.’”

Hi [redacted], Your NEIBA Membership directory arrived at the store today. (I got your email from the listing. Would you like to come pick it up, or should I recycle it. John says you are working on a play. I hope it comes out well. Please let me know if it is performed in the area - I would like to see it. Have a great day!

Hi [redacted], Your NEIBA Membership directory arrived at the store today. (I got your email from the listing.) Would you like to come pick it up, or should I recycle it. John says you are working on a play. I hope it comes out well. Please let me know if it is performed in the area – I would like to see it. Have a great day!

no good deed...

Please recycle the directory. A copy of the directory was mailed to me at my home address. Also, please do not contact me again. You are certainly not my friend, my colleague, or even an old acquaintance. Thank you for refraining from making any further contact with me.

related: awkward cake

Tags: e-mail · Massachusetts · thanks (but not really)

Your hamster died? Well, I can top that.

April 14th, 2009 · 124 Comments

“I’m a server at a chain restaurant,” writes our anonymous submitter, “and we have a bulletin board in the back where people can trade shifts. Lately, people have been including (along with their phone number and shift information) sad stories about why you should choose their shift to pick up (instead of all the other ones that are available).” This one, though, might be the most shameless yet.

Please Pick-Up my Thursday March 26. I have to go to a lecture about the Holocaust.

related: It’s not a race (it’s a social construct)

Tags: Massachusetts · oh no you didn't · restaurant

Why the “seething and waiting” strategy will never get through to a messy roommate: they are oblivious to your blind rage!

April 8th, 2009 · 373 Comments

Laura lives in a four-person suite at Boston College, where she says one of her suitemates, Christin, is “a notorious neat freak.” What that meant was that Christin and her roommate, Amanda, cleaned the shared bathroom a lot.

“Kelsey and I never did, because they never let the bathroom reach a point where it was actually dirty,” Laura says. They also never figured it was an issue, seeing as, uh, nobody ever mentioned that it was an issue. (“The number of times they have mentioned the state of the bathroom? ZERO.”) So Laura and her roomie were a bit surprised, one day in February, to find this screed on the floor of their room.

VERY DISRESPECTFUL

related: letter from a narcotic

Tags: bathroom · Boston · cleaning · college life · martyr complex · roommates · that's disgusting · that's disrespectful · TL;DR

How many wonders can one cavern hold?

February 4th, 2009 · 132 Comments

After 55 years, the North Shore Music Theatre in Beverly, Mass. is closing its doors, Terrance writes, “and I wanted to preserve the rich history of notes and art that have accumulated over the years.”

First up: this artistic series from the intern lounge. (Sidenote: intern lounge?!)

Somebody pooped in the intern bathroom. And I had to dig it out with this!

Going' to poop in the LOBBY bathroom like the cool kids do.

I'll give you these flowers...if you stop pooping in this potty.

related: I’ll tell you what’s classy, though

Tags: art · Massachusetts · odor · shit · toilet

He sounds like a real catch

January 13th, 2009 · 87 Comments

“This guy at my boyfriend’s office sent out an invite  — using the company email — for a ‘we’re single, let’s mingle party,’” says our anonymous submitter in Brookline, Mass. And apparently, this wasn’t the first time.

Another invite to a party that most of your probably won't show up to

Even funnier than the subject line, our submitter adds, was the party dress code: business casual.

related: You were warned never to push Carrie to the limits

Tags: all-staff e-mail · cry me a freaking river · e-mail · it's my party · Massachusetts · office

With a chainsaw?

December 30th, 2008 · 69 Comments

Spotted at a local restaurant by Kevin in Boston…

Please flush me gently (Oh, I'll flush you alright.)

Tags: anthropomorphism · Boston · double-entendre alert · toilet

Do that to me one more time…

November 23rd, 2008 · 116 Comments

The most passive-aggressive thing about this note? Well, our submitter admits: “I do play soundtracks just to annoy him. Maybe next time he shouldn’t dance with other people’s significant others at the office holiday party.”

I know I've said this before so I don't think I should have to say it again, but I swear, if you play the soundtrack to Hairspray one more time, I'm going to lose it. Not everyone likes show tunes or musicals, and I get the feeling you're only doing it now to annoy me!!! Play something good, like the Starland Vocal Band or Captain and Tenille and I'll be fine. Thanks! Andrew P.S. Don't touch my stuff!

related: It was an ironic dance party, okay?

Tags: Massachusetts · music · office · p.s. · touching

An arguably heated dispute

November 11th, 2008 · 363 Comments

Technically, Mike in Boston only has two roommates, but roomie #2′s ever-present girlfriend has become the apartment’s de facto fourth resident…the non-rent-or-utilities-paying kind.

Explains Mike: “We only have one thermostat for the whole apartment, but our rooms are so tiny that we can typically keep the heat off and the place stays at 68-70 degrees.” Once winter came, however, the girlfriend wasn’t too pleased with this arrangement…and took to surreptitiously cranking up the heat into the mid-80s.

After one too many nights of waking up in a sauna, Mike and his allied roommate decided to fight back —in true passive-aggressive style — by removing the (detachable) thermostat from the wall. Drama, of course, ensued.

It's Fucking Freezing. Put the Heat thing back. If you think it's nice cold then open your window. It doesn't get warmer without the Heat.

Mike’s roomie then posted a counter-attack:

If your [sic] cold turn the heat on at YOUR APARTMENT! Otherwise...we took a vote 2 to 1 heat stays off. :)

Grammar aside, that one pretty much did the trick.

related: kill hamster too?

Tags: Boston · energy usage · oh snap · roommates · smiley · temperature · your/you're