Entries Tagged as 'Massachusetts'

With a chainsaw?

December 30th, 2008 · 69 Comments

Spotted at a local restaurant by Kevin in Boston…

Please flush me gently (Oh, I'll flush you alright.)

Tags: anthropomorphism · Boston · double-entendre alert · toilet

Do that to me one more time…

November 23rd, 2008 · 116 Comments

The most passive-aggressive thing about this note? Well, our submitter admits: “I do play soundtracks just to annoy him. Maybe next time he shouldn’t dance with other people’s significant others at the office holiday party.”

I know I've said this before so I don't think I should have to say it again, but I swear, if you play the soundtrack to Hairspray one more time, I'm going to lose it. Not everyone likes show tunes or musicals, and I get the feeling you're only doing it now to annoy me!!! Play something good, like the Starland Vocal Band or Captain and Tenille and I'll be fine. Thanks! Andrew P.S. Don't touch my stuff!

related: It was an ironic dance party, okay?

Tags: Massachusetts · music · office · p.s. · touching

AIn arguably heated dispute

November 11th, 2008 · 363 Comments

Technically, Mike in Boston only has two roommates, but roomie #2′s ever-present girlfriend has become the apartment’s de facto fourth resident…the non-rent-or-utilities-paying kind.

Explains Mike: “We only have one thermostat for the whole apartment, but our rooms are so tiny that we can typically keep the heat off and the place stays at 68-70 degrees.” Once winter came, however, the girlfriend wasn’t too pleased with this arrangement…and took to surreptitiously cranking up the heat into the mid-80s.

After one too many nights of waking up in a sauna, Mike and his allied roommate decided to fight back —in true passive-aggressive style — by removing the (detachable) thermostat from the wall. Drama, of course, ensued.

It's Fucking Freezing. Put the Heat thing back. If you think it's nice cold then open your window. It doesn't get warmer without the Heat.

Mike’s roomie then posted a counter-attack:

If your [sic] cold turn the heat on at YOUR APARTMENT! Otherwise...we took a vote 2 to 1 heat stays off. :)

Grammar aside, that one pretty much did the trick.

related: kill hamster too?

Tags: Boston · energy usage · oh snap · roommates · smiley · temperature · your/you're

The slow build

October 9th, 2008 · 106 Comments

Like so many passive-aggressive notewriters, the author of this note — which Sarah in Brockton, Mass. says was posted in the elevator, front hallway, back hallway and the mailroom of her building after a particularly rowdy Friday — just can’t seem to fully commit to sarcasm as a rhetorical technique.

Thank you Unit 205. Let's all be sure to thank unit 205 for the party last night. We should all feel lucky that we have a neighbor so considerate that they bring people into our building that treat it like a frat house. Your scumbag friends (the ones that were swearing at your neighbors) seem like really nice people. PIGS!!!

(You know, because otherwise people might not get it!!!)

related: Just in case you didn’t catch the sarcasm…

Tags: Massachusetts · neighbors · noise · thanks (but not really)

Seriously distruping

October 8th, 2008 · 77 Comments

Found on the street by Joe in Somerville, Mass…

Ruthie, You have been asked many, many times not to leave notes. As this DISTRUPS the work of my fellow employees. Please respect my fellow employees and stop leaving notes. Thank you...

related: Oh, the irony

Tags: CAPS LOCK · meta · Somerville · spelling and grammar police

The PANtheistic approach

September 7th, 2008 · 86 Comments

At Yale Divinity School, the daily chapel service is followed by a coffee hour. Apparently, says Sara in New Haven, “Some who skip chapel were helping themselves to the goodies before the intended time. Looks like the ‘keeper of the snacks’ has something to say about this.”

if you take anything from here...I KNOW ABOUT IT. (because i am everywhere) -the holy spirit

don't make me pull out my lightning bolts. sincerely, god (zeus version)

Meanwhile, John in Sudbury, Massachusetts spotted this humble plea outside the local Catholic church.

Please return traffic cones -God

related: So much for turning the other cheek

Tags: food · God · guilt trip · Massachusetts · New Haven

Where’s Anytime Stan when you need him?

August 13th, 2008 · 209 Comments

Sarah in Somerville, Mass. wasn’t fazed when she left her apartment one Saturday to find this otherwise “run-of-the-mill your-mother-doesn’t-live-here note”…until she rounded the corner and was greeted by photocopies of the same note taped to every available surface in the hallway.

Hey PIG! Clean up the mess you made in the elevator! Your mommy isn't going to clean it! This isn't a dorm! Be an Adult! Thanks

Then, the next day, another note appeared near the elevator…

was NOT us, but cleaned it up b/c we're SICK of being harrassed [sic] in our home!! call management if you have an issue next time, GROW UP!

…which had apparently been written on the back of yet another (more targeted) note:

The trail leads from the elevator to this corner. Clean your mess in the elevator + front hallway! Grow up + take Responsibility!

“In fairness,” Sarah says, “this whole thing really is gross, and now the lobby and the hallway — in addition to the elevator — smell of vomit. I’m just not sure why the first notewriter thought that spending $10 on copies was going to help.”

And lastly, Sarah adds:  “My mommy didn’t clean up my dorm, either.”

related: Going up?

Tags: elevator · grow up · pleasantries as afterthought · Somerville · vomit · Your mother doesn't...

And God knows what

June 16th, 2008 · 147 Comments

Most drivers could easily identify these duct-tape wrapped shapes as the universal sign for “Caution: Crazy Person Ahead,” but our submitter in Boston actually pulled over and parked in order to get a better look. Up close, “the signs were even crazier than we thought,” she reports. “Seriously, what happened to this guy?”

Seriously, what happened to this guy?

Seriously, what happened to this guy? 4

Seriously, what happened to this guy? 2

related: Movin’ out (Anthony’s song)

Tags: Boston · CAPS LOCK · crazypants · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks" · WTF?