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Entries Tagged as 'Michigan'

For Sale, Cemetery Plot, Never Used

August 13th, 2010 · 47 Comments

Who knew? If you’re in the market for cemetery plots at bargain-basement prices, apparently the go-to place is…the women’s locker room at the gym. At least that’s where our submitter in East Lansing, Michigan spotted this notice (which was clearly not penned by Hemingway).

Happy “WTF?” Friday, everyone!

SAVE $1550 For Sale: One Cemetery Plot (our mother requested cremation, so we aren't using this, now) Deepdale Cemetery (Chapel Garden) If purchased today @ Deepdale, this will cost you $2195 WE WILL SELL FOR ONLY $500 (PLUS DEED TRANSFER FEE) Please Contact [redacted]

related: Please, No Breast Cancer trash!

Tags: gym · Michigan · Moms & Dads · not so much passive-aggressive · WTF?

This note is like one of those asinine beer commercials come to life

June 30th, 2010 · 61 Comments

…and then it turns out Ang’s friend is like, Heidi Klum, and she’s with standing there with her big growling bodyguard, and the Misogyny Factory boys are all like, “Ruh-roh! If only we’d been drinking that shitty beer that makes us act all smooth!’” Or something.

Adds our submitter from East Lansing, Michigan: “I don’t know where Ang’s friend parked originally, but because there was rope attached to the car’s bumper, it looks like ‘The Factory’ moved it.”

Ang's friend, We aren't sure if you're hot so we will keep this as polite as possible. Despite your good intentions, your inability to park in a twenty car lot w/out blocking the only bottleneck in the diveway has left us no choice but to deem you a dumb bitch. Fuck off, The Factory P.S. You are lucky we didn't fuck up your car.

related: Why don’t you go park your car in Harvard Yard?

Tags: "polite notice" · car · casual sexism · Michigan · p.s. · parking

But…the economy sucks back home

May 30th, 2010 · 50 Comments

“The other morning,” says our submitter from Los Angeles, “my boyfriend found this typed (on an honest to goodness typewriter!) note left for him on his windshield.” (Another car on the block with out-of-state plates had a similar message.)

“We’re not sure if the WeHo suggestion was meant to be homophobic or to imply we should be hanging out with our pals Heidi and Spencer at Hyde. Since we are neither gay nor from the cast of the Hills, it’s hard to say.”

GO BACK TO MICHIGAN!!! Your car is taking up too much space here!...GO ON!! LEEEEEAVE!! Go to West Hollywood or something!!!

related: I’m gonna say this in the nicest way possible: don’t park in my spot.

Tags: car · crazypants · Los Angeles · Michigan

O Brother, Where “You’re” At?

April 19th, 2010 · 87 Comments

Trixie found this morally and grammatically curious note pinned to clothesline in her boyfriend’s Detroit neighborhood. So, uh, if you’re looking for a safe house after a prison break…

 If you steal these clothes I just want you to know that your [sic] a bad person. (Unless yer an escaped convict)

related: I know where she lives.

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Detroit · stealing · your/you're

And you wonder why we don’t visit more often…

March 8th, 2010 · 63 Comments

Grandmothers live for thank you notes — receiving them, writing them, not-so-subtly inquiring whether one might be forthcoming.

Jennifer in Michigan received this gracious note of thanks after a Christmas visit to her Grandma. Cue the violins, please…

C & J - Thank you so much for the jam and fattening nuts - Which I like - Always nice to see you ONCE A YEAR. My gosh C is still so handsome - Guess we don't see you enough to have anything to visit about.   Love Always Your Grandma

(If you can’t read Grandma cursive, just mouse over the note for a transcription.)

related: Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have

Tags: Christmas · family · Grandma · guilt trip · Michigan · thanks (but not really)

Honey bunches of “hands off!”

January 13th, 2010 · 111 Comments

“My stepsister, Grace, kept ripping the tab off the cereal box every time she tried to close it,” writes Danielle in Michigan. “My mom got very frustrated and taped this note to the top of the box” — an act I’m sure only helped to strengthen to bond of the stepmom/stepdaughter relationship.

Grace:  Since you are not capable of properly closing a cereal box, please pick another selection for breakfast (yogurt, breakfast bar, fruit) until further notice. [Stepmom]

Wouldn’t you love to hear Grace’s side of the story?

related: cereal killer

Tags: cereal · food · Michigan · Moms & Dads

Textbook Dmitri

August 12th, 2009 · 184 Comments

K, so Court in Michigan met this guy out at a bar. He seemed harmless enough, but Court knew right he wasn’t her type. Still, she didn’t have the heart to give him a flat-out “no” when he asked for her number. (She couldn’t give him a fake one, either, ’cause he the did the “dial his number into the phone and call” thing.)

Says Court: “The first time he called, I talked to him and decided right then I definitely wasn’t interested.” By the end of the conversation, she figured he’d gotten the message…but then he kept calling. And then, texting. When she didn’t respond, Court says, “I assumed he’d take the hint…but I’m not too sure he did.” Um, yeah, you could say that.

Fine, be a bitch then!

related: Not a match

Tags: casual sexism · just not that into you · Michigan · oh no you didn't · spurned lover · text message · unsolicited feedback