Entries Tagged as 'Michigan'

This note is like one of those asinine beer commercials come to life

June 30th, 2010 · 61 Comments

…and then it turns out Ang’s friend is like, Heidi Klum, and she’s with standing there with her big growling bodyguard, and the Misogyny Factory boys are all like, “Ruh-roh! If only we’d been drinking that shitty beer that makes us act all smooth!’” Or something.

Adds our submitter from East Lansing, Michigan: “I don’t know where Ang’s friend parked originally, but because there was rope attached to the car’s bumper, it looks like ‘The Factory’ moved it.”

Ang's friend, We aren't sure if you're hot so we will keep this as polite as possible. Despite your good intentions, your inability to park in a twenty car lot w/out blocking the only bottleneck in the diveway has left us no choice but to deem you a dumb bitch. Fuck off, The Factory P.S. You are lucky we didn't fuck up your car.

related: Why don’t you go park your car in Harvard Yard?

Tags: "polite notice" · car · casual sexism · Michigan · p.s. · parking

But…the economy sucks back home

May 30th, 2010 · 50 Comments

“The other morning,” says our submitter from Los Angeles, “my boyfriend found this typed (on an honest to goodness typewriter!) note left for him on his windshield.” (Another car on the block with out-of-state plates had a similar message.)

“We’re not sure if the WeHo suggestion was meant to be homophobic or to imply we should be hanging out with our pals Heidi and Spencer at Hyde. Since we are neither gay nor from the cast of the Hills, it’s hard to say.”

GO BACK TO MICHIGAN!!! Your car is taking up too much space here!...GO ON!! LEEEEEAVE!! Go to West Hollywood or something!!!

related: I’m gonna say this in the nicest way possible: don’t park in my spot.

Tags: car · crazypants · Los Angeles · Michigan

O Brother, Where “You’re” At?

April 19th, 2010 · 87 Comments

Trixie found this morally and grammatically curious note pinned to clothesline in her boyfriend’s Detroit neighborhood. So, uh, if you’re looking for a safe house after a prison break…

 If you steal these clothes I just want you to know that your [sic] a bad person. (Unless yer an escaped convict)

related: I know where she lives.

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Detroit · stealing · your/you're

And you wonder why we don’t visit more often…

March 8th, 2010 · 63 Comments

Grandmothers live for thank you notes — receiving them, writing them, not-so-subtly inquiring whether one might be forthcoming.

Jennifer in Michigan received this gracious note of thanks after a Christmas visit to her Grandma. Cue the violins, please…

C & J - Thank you so much for the jam and fattening nuts - Which I like - Always nice to see you ONCE A YEAR. My gosh C is still so handsome - Guess we don't see you enough to have anything to visit about.   Love Always Your Grandma

(If you can’t read Grandma cursive, just mouse over the note for a transcription.)

related: Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have

Tags: Christmas · family · Grandma · guilt trip · Michigan · thanks (but not really)

Honey bunches of “hands off!”

January 13th, 2010 · 111 Comments

“My stepsister, Grace, kept ripping the tab off the cereal box every time she tried to close it,” writes Danielle in Michigan. “My mom got very frustrated and taped this note to the top of the box” — an act I’m sure only helped to strengthen to bond of the stepmom/stepdaughter relationship.

Grace:  Since you are not capable of properly closing a cereal box, please pick another selection for breakfast (yogurt, breakfast bar, fruit) until further notice. [Stepmom]

Wouldn’t you love to hear Grace’s side of the story?

related: cereal killer

Tags: cereal · food · Michigan · Moms & Dads

Textbook Dmitri

August 12th, 2009 · 184 Comments

K, so Court in Michigan met this guy out at a bar. He seemed harmless enough, but Court knew right he wasn’t her type. Still, she didn’t have the heart to give him a flat-out “no” when he asked for her number. (She couldn’t give him a fake one, either, ’cause he the did the “dial his number into the phone and call” thing.)

Says Court: “The first time he called, I talked to him and decided right then I definitely wasn’t interested.” By the end of the conversation, she figured he’d gotten the message…but then he kept calling. And then, texting. When she didn’t respond, Court says, “I assumed he’d take the hint…but I’m not too sure he did.” Um, yeah, you could say that.

Fine, be a bitch then!

related: Not a match

Tags: casual sexism · just not that into you · Michigan · oh no you didn't · spurned lover · text message · unsolicited feedback

Can you hear me now, biotch?

July 22nd, 2009 · 161 Comments

Our anonymous submitter — a college student in Michigan — “borrowed” this note under the pretense of reading it to empathize with the recipient. “While the note itself is straight up aggressive,” she says, “I do know that it has followed months of passive-aggressiveness.” And most of these complaints, she says, are totally legit. “I’ve been in the adjoining room while she’s in the bathroom and it’s pretty offensive.”

I can hear everything.

related: Your new best friend

Tags: college life · hygiene · Michigan · noise · roommates · that's disgusting

It’s on my dresser, next to my rolling papers

October 27th, 2008 · 125 Comments

Jeff in Grand Blanc, Michigan says one of his friends found this note on her bed one day when she came home from school. (And no, you can’t go live there.)

Yo — Hemphead! Look what you washed by not checking your pockets! Let's hope the seal was tight enough not to let much water in! May I suggest you lay it out somewhere safe to dry! Love, Mom :) P.S. Where's my clear tape?

related: LAN party at Mom’s house!

Tags: drugs · laundry · Michigan · Moms & Dads · p.s. · signed with love · visual aids

The two-word compromise you’re looking for: zip wire

August 3rd, 2008 · 182 Comments

An anonymous submitter in Ann Arbor, Michigan received this e-mail from a guy who just moved into her co-op (“basically a co-ed frat house”) for the rest of the summer. “We’ve tried to reason with him,” she says, to no avail. “When asked why he has to get up so early, he says, ‘I have important things to do in the morning,’ and that’s it.”

the two-word compromise you're looking for: zip wire

The even bigger mystery? Wonders our submitter: “Why, if he needs complete silence at night, did he move in with 16 other college kids on summer break?”

related: there will come soft pains

Tags: and that's an order · college life · drizzunk · e-mail · Michigan · noise · questionable logic · roommates · sleeping · spelling and grammar police · thanks (but not really)

Two points for honesty

April 24th, 2008 · 226 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter: “I work as a payment processor for a local ambulance company. I see lots of notes scribbled on bills, but this one was a first. At least he/she is honest! :)”

I won't pay this, and you can't make me! :)

related: three cents for the saliva

Tags: Michigan · money · raging against the machine · smiley