Entries Tagged as 'Minnesota'

Which response is classier?

August 27th, 2012 · 48 Comments

These two different approaches to the same problem were submitted within minutes of each other.

Exhibit a) From Hipsterville, Brooklyn, Like a Sir, as spotted by Kaitlin:

To whomever is stealing our NY Times each morning, this is your first, last and only warning: stop it! We are legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us.

Exhibit b) From Niceville, Minnesota, Killing you with Kindness, as spotted by Bitsy:

Good Morning! I don't mind if you take my newspaper to read — I know you are trying to stay current with the local news — 

related: All the news that’s fit to steal

Tags: Brooklyn · Minnesota · neighbors · newspaper · stealing

Will it recycle?

March 14th, 2012 · 49 Comments

Kristen in San Francisco says the copy room is ground zero for office arguments, such as this battle of the “enviro people.”

"Enviro People: Paper wrappers are NOT Recyclable. -Mother Earth" "Really Ma?" "Please Don't Waste Paper for Unnecessary Signage"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile, Ryan in Minneapolis says his building manager left the following note on the mailbox, apparently “after a vagrant left a little ‘present’ in the recycling bin.” Adds Ryan: “Why he thought anyone in the apartment house would do such a thing is beyond any of us.”

PLEASE DO NOT DEFECATE IN THE GARBAGE OR RECYCLING BINS!

related: Hair is not recyclable!

 

Tags: Minneapolis/St. Paul · rebuttals · recycling · San Francisco · shit · The Earth

How NOT to earn great restaurant tips

September 8th, 2011 · 117 Comments

Writes Amber in Minnesota: “My friend works in accounting for a local restaurant chain, and every once in awhile she has to go through credit card receipts if something isn’t adding up correctly. She’s found some pretty interesting gems, but this one takes the cake.”

I'm not pregnant, but thanks for the "eating for two" comment.

[Adds the Not-Pregnant Notewriter: THANKS FOR THE 'TAKES THE CAKE' COMMENT, AMBER. REALLY.]

related: Please don’t take this the wrong way, but mind your own damn business.

Tags: etiquette · Minneapolis/St. Paul · Minnesota · Oops? · preggers · restaurant

Help Desk Shenanigans

July 28th, 2011 · 24 Comments

Writes Bri in St. Paul, Minnesota: “I work at a University help desk that employs mostly students. Since their shifts are short, they have a habit of leaving all kinds of random things at the desk, much to the chagrin of many of my co-workers” — and the devilish glee of others.

[Left:] Is this your hair band? Or chap stick? [Right:] No, this is my hair band!

related: How is your eyes?

extra credit: Venn diagram of “shenanigans” [boingboing.net]

Tags: college life · Minneapolis/St. Paul · smartass

Shushing the shusher

July 21st, 2011 · 109 Comments

Anna in Minneapolis (“librarian in peach sweater”) recently received this anonymous note from a disgruntled library patron. “Apparently, I was talking too loudly to one of our elderly customers on the phone,” she says. “So much for Minnesota nice!”

Whatever happened to speaking QUIETLY in a library? librarian in peach sweater.

related: You seem like really nice people. Really.

extra credit: Just know that I have a whole bag of shhh! with your name on it [youtube]

Tags: etiquette · library · Minneapolis/St. Paul · noise

What happens when you push “Minnesota Nice” one muddy step too far?

November 14th, 2010 · 81 Comments

Shortly after moving in to her new place in Minneapolis, Emily was greeted by this example of that famous “Minnesota Nice“ on a neighbor’s door.

Remove shoes before enter my place or else you will have some promblems with me. That goes for whoever whatever. Or else you won't be comming in here. And if I see any footprint mudd on my rug. I will snapout. believe that am tired of being nice to people

Remove your shoes. Or else you won't be cumming in my house. thats goes for whoever. if you don't remove your shoe's before enter my house or you ill have a promblem with me. and you will be getting my carpet clean. and the next bad as kid or whoever rip my sign off my door i will whoop there ass. I don't care who you is.

related: Your are welcome to our home

Tags: apostrophe catastrophe · irregular capitalization · Minneapolis/St. Paul · Minnesota · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · shoes · spelling and grammar police

You burned my feelings

April 26th, 2010 · 206 Comments

One Saturday, John was in the basement watching the end of a football game when his 8-year-old daughter came down to ask when they’d be leaving for the beach. Just another 20 minutes or so, he told her.

“Eventually, the game ended and we went out,” John says. “But when I went to bed that night, I found this note sitting on my pillow. The tragedy of it all, combined with the warning — and offset by the pretty border and the flower — really make for a lovely package.”

Never put nature aside for telivision [sic]. You burned my feelings today, and I am warning you never to do what you did today again.

related: Mad, but not mad enough to forego a French braid

Tags: Father-daughter notes · football · guilt trip · kids · Minneapolis/St. Paul · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2010 · TV · warning

Sonic Boo

February 14th, 2010 · 102 Comments

As a Valentine’s Day gift to you all, I present you with this epic love story (which Teddie in Minneapolis discovered pinned to the bulletin board in his apartment building).

Teddie’s love note to this love note: “I love that this person (he? she?) used commas, ellipses, and possibly a semicolon, but no periods. I also love how the all-caps rant in the middle segues into a plea to be Myspace friends again with an offhand ‘anyway.’ Also, what happened to her dad?”

Dear Deseray [redacted],  I love you, First of all and I pretty much always Loved you really u was tha Best girlFriend I ever had you Know, you meant the world to me even though you was cheating on Her with Me everytime you was angry at Her For dancing with alot of girls at district or when your Love and affection fubbed OFF on Me and you really didn't even care, But anyway's I Miss you and talking to you and PLEASE TELL CORY dat I am sorry I Really AM, I just couldn't Help it I knew her LONGER than you and well after a While She Found Me SUPER ATTRACTIVE, and I did the Same For Her and Pretty Much everyBody kept saying dat we was great couples and SHIT you know YOU was the ONE For ME deseray I SWEAR TA MUdAFUCKING GOD you was My only Love For Me deseray.  I AIN'T Never Felt No Love Like you and us...your my Guardian Angel and I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOREVER MORE, anyway I wish you can UNBLOCK me OFF Myspace so I can Talk to you instead of having to come all the way here on the Bus and write This shit in person you know, Anyway Hit Me up my # is [redacted] OKay and again I Love you and Miss you and will always Love you  Sincerly  [illegible]  [redacted]      A.K.A Sonic ur Boo Forever  P.s; Sorry For what Happen to your DaD Too I had the Same Feeling...Love You xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Oh, Charles. You are so SUPER ATTRACTIVE I can hardly help myself. Deseray doesn’t know what’s she missing!

related: perfect for each other

Tags: ex drama · Minneapolis/St. Paul · p.s. · runaway run-on sentences · spelling and grammar police · spurned lover · TL;DR · WTF? · xoxo · You call that punctuation?

Napoleon Dynamite Complex

January 4th, 2010 · 96 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter in Minneapolis: “I received this note — and accompanying tater tots — from a co-worker (a balding, 40-year-old male) who had been making false reports about me to our manager and was caught doing so.” (We’re talking hardcore, premeditated sabotage here, so calling himself “a bit of a jerk” was probably “a bit of an understatement.”)

Sorry. I know tater tots don't exactly make up for being a bit of a jerk to you, but I hope it helps a little.

The strangest part, says our submitter? “I do not work in an establishment that serves tater tots.”

related: Daddy’s little smartass

Tags: Minneapolis/St. Paul · office · unnecessary "quotation marks" · WTF?

The Kronic—what?—kles of Keith

July 30th, 2009 · 151 Comments

One lazy Sunday, when our anonymous submitter in Minneapolis spotted this bit of graphity on a wooden bridge at a park, “At first I thought it was sweet in a sad kind of way,” he says. But then he kept finding more — “on benches, picnic tables, even trees, and they got progressively more insane.”

And yet, as many questions as these notes raise, I’m sure we can all agree that whatever Keith’s wife did, IT HAD TO BE DONE.

The Keith Kronikles

The Keith Kronikles

The Keith Kronikles

The Keith Kronikles

Here, Keith’s wife really shows off her flair for language (which we got a brief glimpse of in her earlier “hot dog” opus.)

The Keith Kronikles

The Keith Kronikles

Then, evidently quite pleased with herself, Keith’s wife gives herself an encore on another bench.

The Keith Kronikles

related: to have and to hold

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · drugs · ex drama · heart · Minneapolis/St. Paul · money · WTF?