This exercise in how not to get a job is brought to us by an anonymous submitter in Kansas City. The worst part? Before sending this e-mail, this guy was actually in the top five.

Those troublemakers requesting more crazy apartment notes can thank our anonymous submitter (a GM at a property management firm in Springfield, Missouri) for today’s masterpiece. “One of our resident managers delivered this letter to 115 units at her property, then e-mailed me a copy because she was REALLY proud of it,” our submitter writes. “I got halfway through and realized I had to send it to you.”

Now, for the complaints…

Exhibit a) submitted by an anonymous bystander at a lunch counter in Oregon Caves National Park:

Exhibit b) submitted by Patrick in Kansas City, Missouri, who explains: “My friends Chris and Katie had a rude waitress a few weeks ago. In order to tell the waitress that there was indeed a reason she wasn’t getting a tip, Chris left this little note where the tip would ordinarily go.”

Though I can certainly empathize, as a former food service industry worker I just can’t condone not leaving a tip. (I’m guessing there are a lot of you, however, who’d disagree.)

related: passive-aggressive linkage

Explains an anony-dad in St. Louis: “I asked our babysitter to fill out a short form for us on a daily basis, letting us know a summary of what happened with the kids during the day — when they last ate, whether they seemed like they were getting sick, that sort of thing. I guess it offended her.”

An awfully long note for someone who doesn’t like paperwork, no?

related: Happy to be of service

Explains our anonymous submitter in St. Louis: “I just lost my job at [giant pharmaceutical company]. I was feeling rather passive-aggressive, so I tore this flyer down from the inside of the bathroom stall. It has been there for over three years.”

Writes Heidi in Kansas City, Missouri: “In my building, the decorating committee of condo owners added lamps to the hallway tables on each floor. Someone started turning the lamps off on some floors, and someone else left this note on the bulletin board in the building’s laundry room. Gotta love that festive holiday stationery!”

Danny snapped this understated little note at a senior center in Maryville, Missouri. It seems a bit futile, really. I know that no sign would stop my grandmother from putting in her two cents.